You gotta be honest in life. There's no time to mess around pretending to be something you're not.
And what if that inner you, just begging to be unleashed, is...well, a little extra?
Good! Do it. It's 2018, the world could end any day now. After all — if something's worth doing, it's worth doing right.
The real temptation would be to not open it and inhale for old times' sake.
Until you remember what a packed crowd smells like. Maybe just see what you can get for it on eBay, yeah?
That's...not a Yoda mask. Why is Yoda looking at me like that? I feel very uncomfortable with these Yoda eyes, and I need an adult.
But hey, props for making little green aliens scary again.
I have to admit, though, my mom was the worst for this when I was growing up. Ever seen a Pizza Hut manager cry over pineapple? Because I have, and I've pitied that poor man ever since.
Whoa! Not a heart attack, a wake-up call. Jeez. The food's cholesterol is bad enough for the ol' blood pump, no need to test their reflexes.
Let's be real, though — there's at least a 30% chance that this dude is just googling the answers. You crafty devil...
But hey, why would you want a branded car when you could have a mythological vehicle beast?
This is the retail equivalent of the little brother standing in your doorway all "I'm not in your room." A bold move.
It helps pass the time. On the other hand, I do like to read the box that my high-end electronics come in.
I have strange hobbies, so what?
He's been playing for five minutes. Unfortunately, it took him three years to develop this custom rig, so he's still a little behind. Still, good effort.
You drew these glorious wings. Now use them to soar, little eagle. Soar above us all.
You're supposed to feel like a superstar, so you can draw whatever you want on that face. It's your own flesh, gorl.
Who cares about sore vertebrae when your computer chair is lifted from a Disney castle? Yeah, that's what I thought.
If you didn't want me to be the highlight of the evening, you shoulda invited someone boring. I'm just saying.
But apparently being extra with cereal doesn't mean you can aim the milk at all.
And hey, don't get scared just because you get tangled up in a veil. Just take those emotions and use them. This is your photoshoot now.
That way, even if you're single, you're still the best-dressed customer yelling at the fast food employee. Live your truth.
