Why is it that the things we want nothing to do with often happen to us? You can have good taste and common sense for as long as you want. But you know that the universe is just going to throw you into a situation where you’re the only one that has either of those things, tbh.
1. Neither of these people deserve to be on this planet
Okay, that sounds harsh — but who actually does this?! No one ever has asked for a Pop-Tart and some ketchup to go with it, and I demand evidence proving otherwise.
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2. A game that will have you wanting to catch some crap at the next family game night
You didn’t ever think that would be your goal, right? Well, it’s still not my goal, I don’t care if I lose. Hard pass on this one.
3. Because camel toe belongs on any part of the body, right? LOL, no
But besides that, they just don’t look comfortable. I don’t think my toes would like that divide at all. In fact, I’m not even sure that’s it’s physically possible, so maybe these are just a real pair of hooves.
4. A lollipop that doesn’t have its full candy potential
I swear there aren’t many things worse than being ripped off by food. Is that dramatic of me to say? Yes. Would I have thrown this sucker in anger? Yes.
5. A (probably overpriced) candle that comes with a little extra somethin’, somethin’
French Vanilla Fly, clearly the latest scent trend. To discover that thing while you’re relaxing peacefully is just gag worthy.
6. Opening up your lunch box, only to find the world’s most venomous snake
Like, finding any snake would be really bad. But one that can kill you in less than an hour makes it a million times worse.
7. Casually coming across a pair of dentures while out for a stroll
There’s something about an abandoned set of teeth that is not only creepy, but also leaves me with a lot of unanswered questions.
8. Opening up your cupboard and finding out that potatoes are about to take over your kitchen
The Potatoes Have Eyes (2018) will be the hottest produce/horror movie to hit theaters this year.
9. A shirt that is only going to get you some confused looks and absolutely no fashion points
If it looks like you sewed it yourself while in the dark, then it probably shouldn’t make it into your closet.
10. A cheese pizza that is trying to pass as a pepperoni pizza and failing miserably
Any pizza is better than no pizza, but mamm mia, at least give me some honesty!
11. Not being able to plug in anything because of some fancy lamp
This is the exact opposite of lit. And this is also why having nice things is not always better.
12. Having an expiry date that doesn’t actually exist
You would think the people who are in charge of labeling things would at least double-check a calendar every now and then.
13. Having your morning snack quit on you
Is it just me or are bananas constantly letting us down? They aren’t actually a fruit (they’re a berry), they go brown so darn fast and…need I go on?
14. Having all this packaging arrive, only to discover it contains something so small that it could’ve fit in an envelope
Not only is this a waste, but it gets me all excited for no reason.
15. Having your morning commute become a life-threatening mission
Okay, maybe that’s just me because I’m allergic to nuts. But common courtesy should apply here, and no one wants your shells thrown around.
16. And having your receipt for whatever you buy be larger than what you actually bought
It’s not a receipt, it is a scroll. This isn’t going to fit in anyone’s wallet, so why even hand it out?
