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    Dad carrying child on his shoulders (Unsplash | Kelly Sikkema)

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    Unsplash | Katie Smith

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    Unsplash | Aubrey Odom-Mabey

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    Unsplash | Towfiqu barbhuiya

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20 Years Into Marriage, I Found Out My Husband Was A Sugar Daddy

by Reem Haqqi
5 months ago
in Dating & Relationships, Mental Health, People & Society
Reading Time: 7 mins read
A A
Woman discovers cheating husband

Witthaya Prasongsin

Share on FacebookShare on TwitterPin This Post

She thought her marriage was perfect. They had the house, the kids, the vacations. Everything seemed right. But then she uncovered this shocking truth about her husband, and it turned her life upside down. Here’s how it all unfolded.

Everything seemed perfect

Couple Dancing Outdoors At Dusk,Paso Robles,CA,United States,USA
Kyle Kuhlman/Getty Images

“We had a nice house, three kids, and a great vacation spot,” she said. Everything seemed normal — like the perfect life. She never expected anything to mess it up. But, well, things aren’t always what they seem.

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“I never thought this would happen to me,” she said. She never imagined she’d be sitting here, telling this story.

Cracks started to appear

Unhappy young couple
VioletaStoimenova/Getty Images

It wasn’t like things had been perfect for a while. The cracks had been there for some time. “He just said he needed a break,” she recalled. She didn’t really know what that meant at the time, but then he told her “he wasn’t coming back.”

“I didn’t see it coming,” she added. “I never expected him to just walk away like that.”

Money was his thing

Businessman Handling Cash While Working on Laptop
Tfilm/Getty Images

For years, he took care of the finances. She didn’t have to worry about anything like that. “I didn’t have to worry about the bills or anything. He always took care of it,” she said. She trusted him completely with the money.

But after everything blew up, she realized she should’ve been more involved. “I just never thought to question anything,” she said.

The first sign was a weird charge

I'm really worried about this...
Jay Yuno/Getty Images

It all started with one strange charge on the credit card. “It was from a website I didn’t know,” she recalled. It was a dating site. But not just any dating site—it was a site for rich men looking for women to spoil. That was her first clue.

“I didn’t understand what was happening,” she said. That was when the alarm bells started ringing.

Digging deeper uncovered more

Woman Reviews Receipts at Kitchen Table
Grace Cary/Getty Images

She couldn’t let it go. So, she started looking into the finances. “There were charges for hotels, dinners, and even shopping,” she said. It wasn’t just a small thing — it was like he was living a whole separate life.

“I didn’t even know about that Louis Vuitton store,” she added, remembering how confused she was. “It was obvious the money was going to someone else.”

Confrontation didn’t change anything

Young couple arguing at home, man pointing finger blaming woman
Fizkes/Getty Images

When she confronted him, she was expecting some kind of explanation. Instead, he just told her, “These women made me feel appreciated.” It didn’t even seem like he cared that he’d hurt her.

“I asked him, ‘How could you do this to us?’” she said, still hurt. But he didn’t seem to understand how much pain he caused.

She found strength in herself

Healthy Latin American mother and her elementary-aged kid stretching their arms on an exercise mat during yoga class together at home for body care with wellbeing and positive emotion.
Mith_67/Getty Images

Despite everything, she found her strength within. “I started focusing on myself,” she said. It wasn’t easy, but she had to take care of herself. Yoga helped. It gave her a little peace while everything else felt like it was falling apart.

“I taught kids yoga,” she said. It was something she’d wanted to do for a while, and now she had the time. “It felt good to have something that was just mine.”

She rebuilt on her own

Portrait of smiling woman standing in backyard outside of her house
BartekSzewczyk/Getty Images

She didn’t think she could do it alone, but eventually, she did. Taking over the finances wasn’t easy. “It was overwhelming at first,” she said. “But little by little, I figured it out.” She even started saving money and learning how to budget.

“I bought my own house,” she said. “It wasn’t easy, but I did it.” She was proud of herself for making it happen.

With grace, she let go of the guilt

Pensive multiracial woman relaxing at home, sitting on the sofa drinking morning coffee.
Daniel de la Hoz/Getty Images

One of the hardest things for her was realizing that none of this was her fault. “I spent so much time blaming myself,” she said. “But I had to realize his actions were on him, not me.”

“I can’t take responsibility for what he did,” she said, finally letting go of all the guilt.

She’s finally moving on and embracing the future

A young woman's back with a lotus flower tattoo
Sergio Mendoza Hochmann/Getty Images

It’s been almost a year, and while some days are harder than others, she’s learning to embrace her future. “I’m taking it one day at a time,” she said.

She got a tattoo of a lotus flower — it was a symbol of how she had grown through all the hard times. “I’m stronger now than I’ve ever been,” she said. And through it all, this woman is proof that even when life falls apart, you can always find a way to rebuild stronger. A real queen!

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