Being a girl is tough for a million societal and biological reasons that only we will ever truly understand. But the one thing that never gets any easier, no matter how many times we get it, is our period.
For one week, monthly, we’re PMS-ing, emotional, bloated, riddled with acne. Then for another week we’re bleeding, still emotional, bloated, and acne-ridden. Then comes another week of potential spotting, and de-bloating. That means every month we only feel normal for one week.
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One. Week.
When my period’s over and I realize I was overreacting to everything all week.
I’m sorry for anyone that was victimized by my unjustified rage. I, however, cannot promise it won’t happen again.
You know you’ve been spending a lot of time with your bestie when your periods come at the same time.
At least we can be grumpy, miserable, and bloated together.
RIP to all the nice underwear I’ve ruined by prematurely assuming my period was over.
It isn’t over until it says it’s over.
Dear uterus, I will take as many Advil as I deem necessary. Try me.
There’s no limit to how many ibuprofen I take once my cramps kick in. I don’t care.
Every month, for one week, I don’t exist.
Don’t expect me to show up for work, or any other obligations. It’s my week to purge all of my demos!
I don’t know who tampon companies are trying to fool with their commercials. We know the truth.
Tampon commercials make it look like we’re out here playing tennis, swimming, and prancing around on our periods. But this is what we actually look like.
To all the girl’s with irregular cycles, I know you felt this photo.
This is me planning my maternity shoot if my period doesn’t show up on the exact same day as it did last month.
When you think you’re leaking, so you just back away slowly with your legs glued shut.
Why is it that sometimes it feels like we’re leaking, but then when we check, there’s nothing there? But when we think we’re in the clear, we’re confidently walking around, trailing blood everywhere we go, not noticing at all?
Any other time of the month, our lives are together, we’re putting out fires all over the place, handling our problems, calm, cool, and collected.
But as soon as PMS kicks in, all that is over.
Sneezing on your period calls for an adult diaper.
No sneezing or big-laughing allowed on your period unless you want to burst out with blood, like a shaken champagne bottle.
Shout out to all the boyfriends out there putting up with the monthly abuse. You’re the real MVP.
Don’t take it too personally, I feel hatred towards everyone on my period.
I would really appreciate if nobody tried to make plans with me the week before or the week of my period.
When it’s period time, just leave me alone. I’m bloated and ugly we just need to wait for it to pass.
I never understood as a kid why my mom would randomly be in demonic-like moods.
But now I do, and I respect her more for it.
Challenge me on my period, I dare you.
If you’re looking for a fight, say anything to any girl on her period.
You don’t even need to say anything to me to piss me off when I’m on my period. Just look at me the wrong way, and it’s game over.
This isn’t an exaggeration. You’ve been warned.
Mood swings on my period be like:
Menstrual moodiness is completely uncontrollable. I don’t know what makes me happy, I only know that everything makes me angry, or ugly-cry.
How am I feeling? Do you really want to know?
If human rights didn’t exist, I ought to be locked up in a straitjacket for the way my period has me feeling.
It would at least stop me from making emotional, irrational decisions like I normally do around that time of the month.
Every girl’s exact thought process on day two of her period.
Day two is the day you’re going to either want to steer clear of me. If you don’t, it’s at your own risk, and you better bring chocolate.
Women have the superpower to bleed out for an entire week every month, and live.
Can I trade for a cooler superpower, like invisibility or super-strength? Thanks.
Good thing I take seven Tylenol’s at a time so I can numb TF out of my uterus.
Otherwise, it would feel a little something like this.
The days of having to hide our tampons when we need to take them to the bathroom with us in public should be over.
I’m not hiding tampons in my sleeve anymore. It’s bad enough we have to deal with this crap every month, at the very least we shouldn’t have to feel ashamed about it.
Men say that women cry a lot, but if they bled uncontrollably once a month for most of their lives, they’d be crying too.
Last month, I cried listening to the Tarzan soundtrack. Enough said.
The “mysteriously light” day gets me every time.
Just when you think it’s over, it comes back with a vengeance.
You’d think our uteruses would be a little nicer to us, since we shuttle them around our whole lives.
But instead, we’re at its mercy.
