For as long as I’ve been watching movies and TV shows, men have been doing things that I simply cannot understand.
There are tons of things that women do that are a mystery to most men. But evidently, it goes both ways. Men are not as simplistic as they claim to be.
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I want answers, and I want them now!
Hit the top of the car twice before they get in or out.
It’s a car, not a horse.
You don’t need to give it a pat before you get in or out.
Aggressively slapping aftershave on their face.
I get that aftershave probably stings a bit after shaving, but I think slapping yourself in the face is a bit dramatic.
Saying “I’ll pick you up at eight” but not asking for her address.
This has always been infuriating to me.
How do you know where she lives? Do you have her phone number? Are you going to call her later and ask for her address? Are you going to just go door-to-door looking for her?
Never knowing how to tie a tie.
Tying a tie seems like something every man should just know how to do.
But in movies, it always looks like they’re trying to solve a Rubik’s cube.
Kissing women as a way to make them stop talking.
There are obviously easier and less invasive ways to interrupt someone’s sentence. Kissing them unexpectedly seems like a violation of personal space. Rude much?
Putting guns in their pants.
I understand that sometimes people have gun holsters on the waistline of their pants. But more often than not, in movies, they just shove their gun into their pants, and it is alarming .
Hide engagement rings in places their girlfriend is obviously going to find it.
There are better places to hide an engagement ring than your sock drawer or your coat pocket.
At least try and be discreet, or don’t act so surprised when the girl finds it.
Getting excited about girl fights.
This is one I’ll never understand.
There’s nothing erotic about two women getting violent with each other. But for some reason in movies and TV shoes, men get weirdly excited over it.
Assuming that his ability to unhook a bra with one hand correlated with how good he’s going to be in bed.
Being able to unhook a bra isn’t impressive.
It’s a very, very simple clasp mechanism. A monkey could do it.
My face every time a guy is proud of himself for unhooking a bra on his own.
If you can unhook a bra with ease, it just means that you understand very basic physics. Nothing more.
Looking into a girl’s eyes and smiling until she says “what?” and then says “nothing.”
There’s obviously a reason for staring at someone. If you’re admiring her beauty, just say so, instead of creepily gazing at her, claiming it’s for no reason at all.
Revving their engines to get a girl’s attention.
Men revving their car engines when they see a pretty girl walking down the street in movies is apparently their way of flexing their masculinity.
Little do they know, women couldn’t care less about about the sounds you can make with your car.
Raise your hand if a guy has ever revved his engine at you at a red light.
Seriously, I can’t stress this enough: It’s not cute.
Saying “I’ll call you” and not asking for the girl’s number.
This circles back to making plans to pick a girl up for a date, and then walking off without asking for her address.
At the very least, ask for her phone number. How else do you expect to get ahold of her? Are you just going to dial a bunch of number combinations until you find the right one?
If I was the girl in that situation, I would be very alarmed.
How do you know my phone number if I haven’t even given to you yet?
Creepy.
Throwing rocks at girls windows.
Maybe if you had gotten the girl’s phone number you’d be able to call her instead of whipping rocks at her window to get ahold of her.
Getting into fist fights every chance they have.
There are probably better ways to resolve a problem than by sucker punching somebody.
Men do this way too often in movies and TV shows.
Use your words, guys!
Just another time when men feel the need to flash their unsolicited testosterone.
There are better ways to resolve conflicts than by sucker punching somebody.
But in the movies, that’s the only way men know how to react to confrontation.
Never planning dates before eight.
Eight at night seems to be the standard pick-up time for a first-date in movies.
But let’s get one thing straight, if you’re planning on taking a girl out for dinner, eight is way too late.
I’ll be starving by seven, and eat a pre-dinner snack that will ruin my appetite.
The ideal date would take place no later than standard dinner time.
If you’re taking me out for dinner, best believe that I’m planning my day around stuffing my face at 5pm latest .
Vampire men, that are probably 500 years old, going back to high school.
For some reason, every time there’s a movie or TV shows about male vampires, they always seem to be set in high school.
They’ve typically been alive for over 500 years, and yet, they choose to continuously go back to high school? The worst four years ever?
Doesn’t make any sense.
High school is quite possibly the worst time in everybody’s life.
Why on earth would anybody want to go back, repeatedly ?
If you get to be alive forever, why the hell would you spend it perpetually as a junior in high school?
Sneaking into girl’s bedrooms.
This is a super weird one that I can’t ever wrap my head around.
For some reason, this is a very common thing in movies, and it has had me terrified my entire life that there’s a man lurking in my closet.
Sniffing girl’s underwear.
Again, I can’t exactly wrap my head around this one.
But time and again, we often see men snooping into girl’s underwear drawers, and sniffing their underwear.
Someone please explain this.
