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    Dad carrying child on his shoulders (Unsplash | Kelly Sikkema)

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    Grandma crocheting

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    TikTok | @thewirelady

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32 People Who Played The System Like A Damn Fiddle

by Diply
7 years ago
in Humor
Reading Time: 7 mins read
A A
Reddit | dcroni

Reddit | dcroni

Share on FacebookShare on TwitterPin This Post

Has the system got you down? Have you felt like you’re just stuck in the same workaday life with so much repetition you have to strangle your pillow before you can sleep? Well, as Michael Jackson said, “Just beat it.”

If you don’t beat the system, the system’s gonna beat you. Today we’re lookin’ at people who took matters into their own hands!

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1. Food is everything! Don’t let anyone tell you when/what to eat!

Image credit: Instagram | @kalesalad
Instagram | @kalesalad

Although, the fact that he’s even eating Spam in the first place says that he probably doesn’t care much anyway, right? 😛

2. And for dessert?

Image credit: Reddit | [deleted]
Reddit | [deleted]

This is a game-changer right here. Protip: take it to the next level by using 72 coffee creamers that you stole from the residence cafeteria — free dairy!

3. Is there any problem chocolate can’t solve?

Image credit: Instgram | @alesalad
Instgram | @alesalad

Sure, you might not get the limited edition SpongeBob puzzle toy you were aiming for, but that would hurt pressing on your eyelids anyway.

4. She didn’t just get good marks on the test — she nailed it.

Image credit: Twitter | @mixmatchmakeup
Twitter | @mixmatchmakeup

It may only be good for 8–10 answers at most, but you got toenails too, don’t ya? Use ’em!

5. So simple, so effective.

Image credit: Twitter | @NehmsNotNice
Twitter | @NehmsNotNice

Finally, no more awkwardly positioning your head and hands to watch the next episode of Bob Ross’ painting show. Just don’t fall asleep in class! That’s not a happy little accident.

6. Rule number one: Stay outta my personal space.

Image credit: Reddit | -purdy
Reddit | -purdy

I envy this invention so much! There’s nothing worse than touching the sweaty arm flesh of a subway troll…or anyone’s, for that matter.

7. This genius should start planning for heists with the Ocean’s 11 boys.

Image credit: Twitter | @KevinMieles11
Twitter | @KevinMieles11

That is, until their dad watches the tape and sees that the sun hasn’t set in five days.

8. And the Academy Award goes to…

Image credit: Instagram | @ladbible
Instagram | @ladbible

This couple, for “super extra way to get a crème brûlée.” Oh wait, sorry, it was actually Moonlight that should’ve gotten it, my bad.

9. The best thing to happen to grilled cheese.

Image credit: Twitter | @nothinbutlag
Twitter | @nothinbutlag

I just wish I could take back all the precious moments I wasted making grilled cheese the slow and less cool way!!!

10. Fashion + function = fake nails.

Image credit: Instagram | @beigecardigan
Instagram | @beigecardigan

I don’t wear glasses, but this photo has got me thinking that I should.

Plus, how is it even possible to write that tiny? How?!

11. Because a light’s a light.

Image credit: boredombash | boredombash
boredombash | boredombash

Not only does it work, it’s portable!

12. It’s called being proactive.

Image credit: Instagram | @girlwithnojob
Instagram | @girlwithnojob

Collectively speaking, I think we’re all anti-ticket police.

I can’t stand it when people say, “They’re just doing their jobs,” or “They’re people, too.”

It’s like: Are they people, though? Are they really?

13. Price inflation, maybe you’ve heard of it?

Image credit: Reddit | troy_eggs
Reddit | troy_eggs

Look, the economy is really bad right now (IDK if it actually is, I think that’s just an English proverb or something). You have to make a living however you can.

14. Because plain water is BASIC!!!

Image credit: Twitter | @Knifti
Twitter | @Knifti

This just upped everyone’s water game to a whole new level. Gone are the days of drinking boring plain water — it’s time to get hella bougie.

15. It says it right there: ceiling fan.

Image credit: Reddit | Lord_Ardget
Reddit | Lord_Ardget

Saving money on a fancy mountable room fan, and it’s portable. Pure genius at work.

16. Hold up, you win.

Image credit: Twitter | @Matt_Villarrea1
Twitter | @Matt_Villarrea1

No Bluetooth? No problem. And even if you could turn on speakerphone and hear your friend just fine, why waste an opportunity to be a trendsetter?

17. If you gotta buckle down, buckle down like a boss!

Image credit: Reddit | dcroni
Reddit | dcroni

This guy’s just studying for a test, but you can tell he’s already got everything in his life figured out.

18. Don’t let something like “recommended serving sizes” hold you back from what you want in life.

Image credit: Twitter | @MyFavsTrash
Twitter | @MyFavsTrash

Like the chest of your enemies, rip that thing open and feast on its innards!

19. You know what? That’s not a bad look.

Image credit: Instagram | @moist.tumblr
Instagram | @moist.tumblr

So, not only do you get to throw down at the party, but you have a whole new section in Forever 21 to shop in.

20. Once again, I’ll bet this dude is smart enough to also pick a liquor store his mom doesn’t go to.

Image credit: Instagram | @thesavageposts
Instagram | @thesavageposts

Otherwise, all this work would be for nothing if she shows up and hears “oh, did you forget something, ma’am?”

21. And on the way home? Bag shoes!

Image credit: Twitter | @martynhett
Twitter | @martynhett

If it’s just a toss-up between your feet hurting and your dignity hurting, I’m protecting my feet! Let’s be real: We’re gonna get McDonald’s on the way back anyway.

22. When you don’t have tongs but you fancy yourself an engineer.

Image credit: Reddit | @Rezifour
Reddit | @Rezifour

I don’t know, is this necessary?

Forks can replace tongs in any basic culinary scenario, especially Tupperware zucchini.

I think this guy’s just showing off.

23. I wish I thought of this when I was a kid.

Image credit: Twitter | @BADGALRHYY
Twitter | @BADGALRHYY

All these years I was foolishly having to pick just one kind of cereal when I could’ve been living this luxurious life I truly deserve 🙁

24. I suppose this is proof that you don’t achieve greatness without taking some risks.

Image credit: Instagram | @unilad
Instagram | @unilad

I mean, I’m not sure how stable that tunnel looks, but I’ll admit I’m also not the genius here. Our great escape artist obviously only needs help talking to his wife.

25. Close enough.

Image credit: Reddit | [deleted]
Reddit | [deleted]

If this thing is secure enough, I anticipate this will work perfectly.

26. No more Sunday socks!

Image credit: Reddit | [deleted]
Reddit | [deleted]

Not a soul is going to notice.

27. Much prettier, no?

Image credit: Reddit | tacosatmidnight3
Reddit | tacosatmidnight3

A great place to store your music for a later time. Recycling is how you play the system my friends.

28. I’ll bet that even the person who did this didn’t expect to create such an effective illusion.

Image credit: Instagram | @
thebestoftumblrofficial
Instagram | @
thebestoftumblrofficial

Either that or they were just tapping into people’s secret desire for a pet horse that fits in the house.

Either way, they’re onto something.

29. When the person behind the counter tells you that you can’t have a curse word as your licence plate.

Image credit: Twitter | @freakmommy
Twitter | @freakmommy

It’s a personalized licence plate — show them who you really are!

30. Welp, ya got my vote!

Image credit: Twitter | @scritt_
Twitter | @scritt_

Putting a water bottle cap on wine isn’t just a great invention for the kitchen — now you can take it to the gym! Jk, don’t do that.

31. Maybe you want to be a little more stealthy about your drinks?

Image credit: Twitter | @caity_decker24
Twitter | @caity_decker24

This purse pouch is all anyone needs! It really puts the class in “classy drunk.” Moms are so advanced.

32. And lastly, if you’ve got a whole lot of unwanted pests, it might help to think outside the box.

Image credit: Reddit | Nabillia
Reddit | Nabillia

This person basically set up their own Hunger Games for some slugs!

Tags: Humor

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