We all try our best to prepare for emergencies. Through a detailed set of plans, supplies, and knowledge, we can be confident in facing whatever life throws our way.
But sometimes, the problem we end up facing simply cannot be prepared for. It comes out of left field, catching us completely off guard, like the issues faced in this list.
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“After 60h of no power in middle of freezing winter in TX, I got electricity for an hour and I thought that it would be a good idea to thaw frozen honey for rest of the day but my dumbass forgot to open lid.”
Wait, wait, your power came back on and your first thought was to microwave honey? Not only that, but you also just stuck plastic in your microwave? Who are you?
“Came home after a long day to find my home full with dirt, went upstairs and found a crime scene.”
With the criminal still there, screaming, “And I’d do it again!”
“Four more deliveries to go.”
Not sure if he means food or packages, but either way, who’s really meeting their delivery people outside these days?
“[…] Live power line fell, it was so hot that it melted through the sidewalk and turned the sand underneath to glass.”
Sure, you could get it repaired, or you could market it as a unique, rare feature and feel special instead.
“Something is very out of place here.”
I can’t quite tell what it is, though. Maybe that traffic light? It looks pretty weird, not sure.
“My living room table exploded.”
My fear of glass-top desks and tables grows more every day, it seems.
“Don’t pull as hard as you can when your door is frozen.”
Noted but I’m not even sure I have the strength to pull this off, literally and figuratively.
“Tried to help an injured owl this morning and he decided he wanted to ride…”
Well, you said you wanted to help. The best way to help him would be to drive him to the vet!
“It’s so cold our mayonnaise separated to egg and oil.”
Logically, I knew this is all mayonnaise was but I still don’t like seeing it, y’know?
“The illuminated sign at a Wendy’s near my house burst into flames last night it now looks like a fire demon was summoned.”
“Welcome to Wendy’s. Your money isn’t accepted here, only your soul.”
“How does this even happen other than speeding.”
My best guess would be aliens or they were picked up and thrown by a giant gorilla.
“Wall collapses at Morton Salt building in Chicago.”
Here’s hoping none of them left their window down! Who are we kidding, salt got inside whether or not they did.
“Plane in Denver had an engine fire, and a big chunk of the plane landed in this guys yard. No injuries reported on plane or yard.”
What’re the odds? Does this count as good or bad luck? Should you buy lottery tickets?
“In the process of moving and all my silverware is not here. Ordered a Pizza. It’s the only time in my life a pizza came uncut by accident.”
You have two options. One, fold that baby like a huge taco and eat it that way, or two, tear into it with your bear hands like a sauce-covered caveman.
“Their first day at a new job and they drove into a hidden ditch.”
Like breaking a bottle against a ship, a way to christen the journey! But the journey is a new job and the christening is bad.
“Went to go take a sip of my tea.”
Time to throw out the tea, the mug, the rest of the tea bags, the kitchen, the house, and so on.
“My dog done lost his DAMN MIND WTF.”
How did he even get up there? You’re sure you have a dog and not a monkey?
(Also, in case you’re wondering, he’s totally fine and got down no problem.)
“Instead of putting all of the dishes away, my kids hid some of them in the oven to do later and were forgotten. Smelled something funny when I went to preheat it later […].”
The concept of just hiding dishes to avoid doing them is hilarious. I live on my own but I might start doing it.
“I walked out undressed (very briefly) this morning. Bless his heart, he was 100% professional and pretended he didn’t see anything.”
Why do I get the feeling this was posted as a subtle brag. Like, come on, this is your apartment? It looks staged for a magazine shoot.
“So I forgot about my drink in the freezer…”
And now you have a ginger beer popsicle! Better than it exploding and turning your whole freezer into one.
