There’s nothing better than a good charcuterie board (a “shark coochie” board, if you have class like I do). In fact, charcuterie is something most of the internet can actually agree on.
What they may not agree on? Charcuterie meat roses. Before you cringe, hang on — they’re actually kind of cool.
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So, here’s what’s up.
TikTok user @janelleelise decided to show off how she makes meat roses (yes, yes I will be calling them meat roses). She uses a stemmed glass and some round salami to get the job done.
You have to gently layer the salami.
First, you line all around the cup’s rim with the salami, gently folding it down. Then, you keep doing that, alternating where the salami lays to create a rose-like effect.
Keep layering until you’re satisfied.
Then flip the glass upside down and place it against your board, lifting it away quickly to reveal what genuinely looks like an honest-to-goodness meat rose. Wow. I love art.
The comments were quite literally too NSFW to share…
Except for this one, which makes some damn good points. I was also afraid of that for a quick minute. Luckily, it just turned out to be… uh, a meat rose.
Anyway. Bless you, TikTok.
Let’s see some of the highlights we CAN share.
This most-liked comment really said it all for a lot of people. I think it’s the whole “making salami art” that got to a lot of people. I mean, I get it.
We all thought it.
There’s only so many ways I can write around what we all know that salami looks like, you guys. I’m suffering here. Georgia O’Keefe herself would be suffering here.
Well, that’s one date idea.
Nothing says “romance” like using the good crystal to create meat flowers. Yes, I just typed that sentence. No, I do not feel totally sane after watching that video.
Hard pass.
Cherish the thought? More like perish the thought. Never in my life do I want to see the word “mimosa” next to the word “salami.” That’s too much to handle.
At least we can agree that this would be a really cool addition to your next charcuterie board.
What do you think? Would you try this hack? It certainly adds some extra elegance, don’t you think?
