Bride Tells SIL She Can't Come To The Wedding Because She'll 'Upstage' Her

Societal standards often compel us to look, act and even holistically live particular lives, even if they're not the lifestyles that make us happy.

We sometimes change ourselves to fit into molds that make us feel accepted and attractive, but also create superficial expectations for ourselves and others around us.

We don't always like what we see when we look in the mirror.

Taylor Deas-Melesh l Unsplash

It's true that we can often be our worst critics, and sometimes we feel insignificant when compared to others.

There's a false equivalent that tells many people that if someone has something they don't, they aren't worthy.

Sometimes comparison ruins special spotlight moments in our lives.

Andrew Neel l Unsplash

There are celebrations and special moments that aren't fully enjoyed when people feel like something or someone is distracting from their shine.

A wedding is supposed to be a time of collective joy.

When we think of weddings, many of us imagine laughs, smiles, photos, food and, of course, an overjoyed bride and groom.

However, that's not always the case. Sometimes people aren't so kind and eager to join in the moment with family and friends.

One future sister-in-law decided to get in shape before her husband's sister's upcoming wedding.

Unsplash | Jonathan Borba

The determined woman decided to use the pandemic as an opportunity to get in shape and drop some pounds.

In fact, she was able to lose over 20 pounds in a year. It was an empowering victory for her and she felt proud of her success.

However, not everyone was quite so supportive.

The bride-to-be was not happy about her soon-to-be SIL's weight loss journey.

In fact, she was incredibly upset when she learned that the woman had lost so much weight, when she wasn't even the one getting married that year.

She was offended that anyone would draw attention away from the bride, whether intentionally or not. So she did what she felt she had to do: she explained that her sister-in-law to be could either come wearing baggy clothes, or not come to the wedding at all.

For this sister-in-law, this was a bizarre situation.

This sister-in-law was so disgusted by the bride's ultimatum that she took to Reddit's popular r/AmITheAsshole page for commenters to help her assess the situation.

In her post she implored, "Am I somehow the asshole for not warning my SIL that I lost weight this year or for not wanting to have to wear baggy clothes at her wedding? I honestly don’t know how I could be the asshole aside from my weight loss making her insecure."

Believe it or not, this situation gets worse.

"[The bride] said that I knew she was getting married and I’ve had my whole life to get fit but I purposely chose right before her wedding to do it," the woman explained.

As for how her own hubby reacted to the situation? Well, buckle up, because it just might infuriate you.

"My husband defended me in front of her but after she left he told me that I should have apologized to her because she is very insecure and since her fiancé and best friend and fiancé’s parents haven’t seen me since I lost weight they will notice and it might feel like I was purposely trying to upstage her."

The Reddit verdict came in loud and clear.

Unsplash | Tingey Injury Law Firm

People were overwhelmingly on the sister-in-law's side.

One person wrote, "This is just crazy! I would be so happy for anyone that got focused on getting healthier and looking/feeling their best. Good on you for doing so well!"

Another commenter said, "Yes this I know it’s her wedding and it’s a big deal for her but she must know that not everything you do is because of it you have your own life and goals you want to achieve that has nothing to do with her wedding and you’re not going to stop your life tell her wedding past don’t go and you are NTA."

Thankfully, the woman has an audience of supporters.

Basically, Reddit decided that the bride-to-be is ridiculous and the sister-in-law was not an asshole at all. They also had some choice words for her incredibly unsupportive husband.

"Your husband is setting a crazy bad precedent here," this person pointed out. "He is putting his sister's crazy feelings over yours and in all honesty his tepid response to backing you up."

Let us know in the comments what you think of this complicated situation and who you think is in the right and the wrong.

h/t: Reddit

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