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Quotes For Anyone Who's Ever Wondered What Married Life Is Like

Updated September 8, 2021

Let's not sit here and pretend marriage is all sunshine and rainbows. It's tough. It's messy. And yeah, sometimes it's enough to make you want to see a copy of your old vows to check the fine print because this definitely not what you signed up for.

Look, we're not saying we regret getting married, and we're not warning others away from walking down the aisle, either. We just think it's about time we got brutally honest about what life is really like after saying "I do."

And if these quotes are any indication, it's no fairy-tale.

Funny how that changes.

While I'm sure that loud laugh was once endearing to hear while you were still two awkward people falling in love, now the sound of her obnoxious horse whinny embarrasses you in movie theaters and makes you wish she'd dial it back about ten thousand notches.

50 First Times I Asked Him To Take Out The Garbage.

It's a wonder he's able to get anything done when he can't seem to remember to clean the garage like you asked, or to put his laundry away, but he never forgets that there's football on TV every Sunday.

Evil, but necessary.

Men are creatures of habit. I guarantee you not one man has ever actually checked the setting on the toaster before tossing some bread in there and lowering the lever.

So if someone were to say...crank 'er up to level 10, he'd never notice until the kitchen filled with the thick, disappointing stench of his ruined breakfast.

"I'd remember."

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Here's the perfect recipe for a marital argument: a few dashes of "honey please do", a sprinkle of "okay I will", a pinch of "did you do that yet?", a teaspoon of "you never told me to do that," and a gallon of, "YES I ACTUALLY DID."