Our intuitive skills can be pretty impressive sometimes. We can piece together information and construct narratives all on our own, which is amazing!
Sometimes, though, we just don’t have enough information. We’ll see something and just know in our hearts that there has to be more to that story.
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“Mother-in-law just served me this piece of cake.”
If there were to be one family member to do something as passive-aggressive yet equally hostile as this, it’d definitely be a mother-in-law.
“They replaced a missing doorbell with this.”
I think we’ve always had an alternative to ringing doorbells. It’s called knocking.
Sleeping like a rock.
Either that cat is made of lead, or it just survived an epic battle and is taking a victory nap in the wreckage.
“There [go] my weekend plans.”
Do you think that a lot of people have asked and they’re annoyed, or did they have one tragic pig-renting incident that they can’t risk repeating?
“Anybody else ever miss out on easy money?”
Good luck trying to wrangle him. If there’s one common thread amongst most cats I’ve met, it’s that they’ll actively dodge you if you walk toward them.
“I think I’ve got all the info I need here.”
Those footprints walking away are not only relieving, but hilarious. Talk about a walk of shame.
“The question is not what he is doing there, but what this piece of ham is doing on him?”
Hey, you mind your own business. He deserves some private time, too, to do…this. Whatever this is.
“I didn’t go to school yesterday. I’m really curious as to what happened.”
Of course, the one day you don’t go you miss the most legendary moment of your high school life. People will be talking about it for years to come and you’ll be out of the loop. My condolences.
“First time on a greyhound bus. All the stories are true.”
Oh, to have the absolute bold confidence of a man riding a public bus like this — but without the impoliteness and lack of courtesy for others.
“Hammy found a piece of plastic in the recycling. When I first found him like this, I thought he was stuck and took it off him. He complained, and put it on again. He’s been wearing this on and off for three days.”
He’s trying out a new fashion style and he thinks it looks really good. Judging will just make him feel self-conscious.
“An interesting missed connection.”
Losing a fight to a duck while pantsless is a really bad first impression. Hope you’re funny enough to make up for lack of dexterity.
“So I bring a pecan pie to work. By noon it was gone. Found it a few hours later in my boss’s office.”
This looks like a perfect opportunity to bring up a bonus, or perhaps even a raise.
“Found this in my grandfather’s basement after he passed away.”
I love the whimsical logo still on the top: “It’s me, Mickey! You’re hereby banned from Walt Disney World forever!”
“My mum was telling me some stories from my childhood, so I made her this cake.”
I think this is a cake most children could give their parents. Actually, I should make an order.
Immediate consequences.
The fear and power in his eye as he looks at the whip is chilling: “I have not tamed you yet — our first encounter taught me that — but I will, and when I do, I’ll be the most powerful man the world has ever seen.”
“I work at Target and all of the empty boxes were going missing. I think I found them.”
I’d stop him now. Before you know it, he’ll have a whole mech suit constructed, and you won’t be able to stop him from ravaging your store.
“What type of person doesn’t know this?”
Another fun debate for what you think is more likely: that enough people took it home and complained the color was wrong, or people were testing the paint in-store on the shelves or floor?
“Most solid piece of feedback I’ve ever given a restaurant.”
I can’t say that’s a problem I’ve ever encountered. Some people in the comments of this post claimed it helps keep the smell down and keep the urinals cleaner, but I don’t know if that’s worth the fight.
“I feel like Windows mistakenly did something horrible to my files, and then managed to fix them while in a panic.”
“They’re all there! We promise! We definitely didn’t lose them all in a scramble and replace them with crudely drawn replacements made in MSPaint.”
“In a video game there would definitely be something hidden behind this wall.”
You need a bomb to open it though, so you have to run back to town and buy the bomb upgrade first. Ugh, so annoying.
“Somebody left their dog in the library.”
Hey, you don’t know that for sure. Maybe he came of his own volition. He needed a quiet place to study and he doesn’t appreciate your staring.
“I put a rake in our flag holder to see how long it would take my wife to notice. It’s been three days.”
Nothing says “patriotism” quite like a rake in the flag holder.
“A good sign I saw tonight near my house.”
This sign is for an auto shop, and I have to agree. Why did he never have an episode about horrendous potholes?
“This cashier has something to hide.”
“Just act calm. You’re totally fine. Wait, are my eyes too closed? I can fix that. I just have to open them more… There. That’ll make me look more normal.”
“I think something was lost in translation on this fortune.”
Is this fortune encouraging you to commit a crime? Sounds like this fortune is encouraging you to commit a crime.
“My dog seems off today.”
No, I think it’s fine. It just had a bit of a growth spurt!
“This is how my Mum babysits my kids.”
Don’t forget about enrichment activities! Put some snacks in a plastic egg to encourage them to look for their food, to work for it.
“Sure, likely story.”
“Recording screams and torture noises today. Volunteers welcome! Come on in!”
“They should have asked for the shirts back before they fired me.”
In the comments, this guy explained that ordering this shirt got him fired for “destruction of company property.” Also, if you don’t get it, read the name on the shirt slowly.
“I feel like I just missed a miracle on the beach.”
That or you just missed some thieves dumping what they stole from an elderly person. Hope it’s the former!
