Kid logic works by its own rules. When I was a kid, I assumed reindeer were made up animals because I thought they were just magical deer. It makes sense if you’re a kid! People on Twitter have been sharing the weirdest things that they believed as kids and it makes me feel a lot better about magical deer.
1. Death, taxes, dogcatchers, quicksand…
As this tweet points out, kids movies really hype up the importance of the role of dogcatchers in society. And I’ve never even seen quicksand in real life.
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2. Lawn care is tough work.
Honestly, this makes sense to me. And with how much my cat sheds, it is basically trimming the carpet when I vaccuum.
3. Rules of the world.
You KNEW when you were a kid if you saw someone pop out that big brick phone with an antenna that they were about to do something miserly.
4. Wait… they’re not?
I can’t believe I let my mom get away with this one for so long. She’s about to get a very disappointed phone call from me.
5. Oh no…
I’m choosing to believe that’s the only meaning behind this line, thank you.
6. Your parents are NOT invincible.
Although sometimes I think if my dad gave a stern enough look to an oncoming car, he might be able to stop it in its tracks before it even has a chance to hit him.
7. Oops!
If you like your “spicy” fruit, there’s no reason not to enjoy it! Just, you know, exercise moderation.
8. As long as they’re not spicy…
I get the logic on this one. She eats fruits, she eats pretzels, therefore …
9. My whole world is a lie.
I just think wheelbarrel sounds better than wheelbarrow. If we all work together, we can probably convince the dictionary to change it. Who’s with me?
10. My greatest fear.
There’s no worse fate to imagine as a child than to end up part of the filling in a kid sandwich in a slide getting a face full of the feet of whoever came after you. No thank you.
11. Um… not quite.
Even a pop star like Camila Cabello had some facts wrongs when she was a kid. Somehow, I don’t think this anecdote is ever going to make it into any of her music.
12. Get away from me!
I used to spend long car rides hoping if “we” went behind enough clouds, the moon might lose track of us before we got back to our house.
13. Lock me up and throw away the key.
I still get nervous even turning on a light inside my OWN car, and I’m a full grown adult.
14. Based just on vibes.
I still do this instinctively if I’m talking to a cat or a dog I’ve never met before, even though I’ve had exclusively boy cats in my life. Something about this idea just stuck with me.
15. This would be easier.
Unfortunately, becoming in every language on Earth is going to take longer than just going through the French course on Duolingo. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try!
