Diply

Marriage Quotes For Anyone Who's A Pro At Getting Irrationally Angry

Updated August 30, 2021

As far as I'm concerned, one of the requirements to get married to someone is that at least one of you needs to be able to get incredibly, and totally irrationally angry at a moment's notice.

You can say "that's not a healthy marriage" all you want, but I think it's the reality of a long-term marriage. Life won't always be a fairy-tale, and sometimes someone's going to blow up at the other person. But it's kind of like slitting the crust of an apple pie before it bakes — it lets all the steam out so the pie just doesn't...well, explode.

So in honor of those steam-venting moments, here are some hilarious marriage quotes that will probably sound super familiar. Enjoy!

I promise the answer will always be "yes."

"When I leave my beard hairs in the sink?"

"When I wear a clean sweater for an hour, call it dirty, and throw it in the hamper for you to wash?"

"When I finish something and put the empty container back in the fridge?"

YES. It bothers me.

Let's hear it for our hero.

He also likes to bring up the fact that he loaded it at all one time to try and reason that I should be the one to load it tonight.

As if I'm not also the one who loads it every other night, too. But you're right, you did do it that one time, so you're now done forever.

Thanks, pal.

Marriage is all fun and games until your alarm clock turns into your husband exhaling his dumpster-fire morning breath into your face at 5 AM.

"He looks so peaceful...I hate him."

Usually I only do this when a) I didn't fall asleep first and I'm mad that I'm still awake or b) I remembered an argument we had three months ago and suddenly I'm not over it anymore.