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Quotes For People Who Order Donuts Without Sprinkles And Call It A Diet

I own a scale, but since all this lockdown/pandemic business started, I've made a point of keeping that scale hidden underneath my bathroom sink so there's no chance of even accidentally stepping on it and seeing a number that will crush my soul.

Look, 2020's been hard on all of us, and I think we should all just give ourselves a break and not worry about how many pounds we've gained while dealing with this mess of a year. But that doesn't mean we can't still joke about those pounds, right?

If you're ready and willing to see the funny side of things, then I think you're really going to enjoy these quotes.

Seems like a sick joke to me.

You don't even need to think about what you're eating to pack on the pounds but as soon as you wanted to get rid of a few, then you have to be all health-conscious?

Ridiculous.

Happens more often than you'd think.

I also hate when I bulk up to get ready for the big game only to remember that I'm not a high school football player and I've been eating nachos for every meal this week for absolutely no reason.

Crap, not again!

Please and thank you.

While we're at it, apples belong in pie, bananas belong in bread, and carrots? I think you know where I'm going with this. Those bad boys belong in muffins with some raisins and walnuts.

Anyone else suddenly inexplicably craving dessert?

Fool me twice, shame on me.

I also thought I was losing weight when I accidentally pulled on my boyfriend's jeans. It was also a pretty sobering moment when I realized they were only slightly too big.

But you know how you get rid of those kinds of thoughts? You eat cake.