In a lot of families, even after two people get married and start a family of their own, their parents still feel the need to stay extremely involved. There are many individuals who have parents who can very overbearing. Sometimes, people are okay and comfortable with having super-involved parents and in-laws. Other times, parents can overstep boundaries and get involved in things that just aren’t their business.
One area where parents seem to overstep is when it comes to grandchildren and family planning.
When a couple begins making decisions about bringing children (or not bringing children) into the world, many parents feel it’s their place to “step in” because, well, those are going to be their grandchildren.
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Sometimes, however, there are those that feel that those decisions should remain between the couple.
Recently, one woman wrote into Reddit seeking advice on her overbearing mother-in-law. According to the Reddit post, her MIL “threw a tantrum” when her husband announced he would be getting a vasectomy.
The wife admitted that her MIL thinks that her son will, “… do anything she wants.”
“She told him 10 years ago when we got married ‘we better be good at creating babies,’ she literally wants a bunch of grandkids, and thinks she has some say in how many myself or [her other daughters-in-law] have.
She has been shut down multiple times but still goes back to acting like our marriages need her input,” she wrote.
The couple tends to withhold some information from MIL just because she can be so stressful.
“We have kept her on an info diet for as couple years but sometimes she figures things out on her own.
Our third child is due in January, my husband has always said that when I felt like I was done having kids, so was he,” she wrote.
Now that the couple has hinted that they are finished having kids, after having three already, MIL is not happy.
“MIL has picked up on us not having any more kids, three will be enough for us, and she isn’t happy about it.
She only picked up on it when we talked about getting rid of our baby girl clothes and other stuff, plus how we keep saying our last time having this moment,” she added.
Apparently, the Reddit user’s MIL thinks that her son is allowing his wife to “walk all over him.”
“MIL has thrown a tantrum and tried to tell my husband how he needs to stop allowing me to walk all over him and make the decisions,” she said in the post.
Now, she’s seeking some advice on how to handle the situation with her overbearing MIL.
Many people on Reddit related to this experience of an overactive MIL and shared some stories of their own.
“Wow, how many does she want you to have if 3 isn’t enough? I’m not having any more than the 2 I have now and wouldn’t let anyone pressure me into more. It’s my body I’m ruining, and hurting to have my babies (don’t regret but had pregnancy issues), my life, my money. I mean, paying for a bigger house and all the things a baby needs costs a TON, let alone the mental stress of it all. Don’t let her boss either of you around,” one person commented.
One person said that their MIL wanted another kid right after she went through labor.
“My mother in law’s first comment to me after 30 hours of labor was that maybe next time you will have a girl. She also knew we were done. I just ignored [her]. She never had much to do with our son and honestly, if she is giving your family space, be grateful. Focus on yourself and YOUR family. This lady has gotten too comfortable in between your marriage,” they said.
Others said that MIL sounds like quite the hypocrite.
One person said it’s ironic that MIL doesn’t want the wife to chime in, but wants all of the control.
“Stop letting your wife tell you what to do and LET ME TELL YOU WHAT TO DO INSTEAD!’ This woman’s logic when it comes to her son making his own decisions is flawless,” one person said.
How would you handle this overbearing mother-in-law?
