Good morning, my bunch of Sassheads!
“Good morning?!” I hear you cry, “It’s Monday, it’s cold, there’s a virus destroying the world, and we’ve all got a political hangover. Are you freakin’ crazy Aunty?” Well, yes…yes I am.
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Crazy with excitement…to introduce you to my new weekly newsletter The Monday Chuckle.
Welcome, my friends, to The Monday Chuckle — a positive space so packed full of fun and laughter that it should carry you all the way to Friday with a big sunshine smile on your face!
Here we leave the outside world on the doorstep and wipe all the negativity off of our shoes.
Let’s start off with a joke. This is one of my all-time favorite funnies!
Bertha & Betty.
Two 90-year-old women, Bertha and Betty, had been friends all of their lives. And, when it became clear that Bertha was dying, Betty visited her every day.
One day Betty said, “Bertha, we both loved playing softball all our lives. We played all through high school. So, please do me one favor: when you get to Heaven, somehow you must let me know if there’s women’s softball there.”
Bertha looked up at Betty from her deathbed and said, “Betty, you’ve always been my best friend. If it’s at all possible, I’ll do this favor for you.” Shortly after that, Bertha passed. A few nights later, Betty was awakened from her sound sleep by a blinding flash of white light and a voice calling out to her, “Betty, Betty.”
“Who is it,” asked Betty, sitting up suddenly. “Who’s there?”
“Betty — it’s me, Bertha.”
“You’re not Bertha. Bertha just died.”
“I’m telling you, it’s me, Bertha,” insisted the voice.
“Bertha! Where are you?”
“In Heaven,” replied Bertha. “I have some really good news and a little bad news.”
“Tell me the good news first,” said Betty.
“The good news,” Bertha said with joy and enthusiasm, “is that there’s women’s softball in Heaven. Better yet, all of our old buddies who died before me are here, too. Even better than that, we’re all young again. Better still, it’s always Springtime and it never rains or snows. And best of all, we can play softball all we want, and we never get tired.”
“That’s fantastic,” said Betty. “It’s beyond my wildest dreams! So, what’s the bad news?”
“You’re pitching Tuesday.”
If you don’t laugh you’ll cry, right? I hope you enjoyed that gang, I’ve always felt that laughter is the best medicine. Do you think I’m right?
Hopefully, you do, and to add a little extra freakin’ funny to your Monday, here are all my funniest memes of the week that you might have missed…
Could this be any more relevant right now?
If you’ve got a sister, you understand!
I’m on the five belly laughs a day diet. You?
Do you think yours would last?
What a terrifying thought…
By now, you should be happier than a tornado in a trailer park! But to finish off, here’s something to get your brain cogs turnin’!
Me, Walt, and my best friend Aunty Dee went camping this weekend, God knows why. If I wanted to spend the night with a bunch of creepy crawlies, I would have invited my ex-boyfriends.
That’s all from ‘The Monday Chuckle’ this week, but remember…
If life tries to give you lemons this week, hand them back and shout, “I WANT COFFEE!”
Love, Your Aunty Acid.
