I don't think that he should get his hopes up about the success of this date, she already looks board stiff!

Ah yes, the classic way to drink a refreshing Pepsi, to have it slurped out of a bucket with bits of soggy chicken skin and grease floating in it.

This is probably the saddest thing that a Chipotle bin has ever had in it, and that's saying something considering they normally just contain remnants of their own depressing food.

I mean, if you turn someone's home into a parking lot then you can't be surprised when they fall into a deep depression!

In fairness, I'd be very sad as well if it was my job to iron out asbestos. Well, I'd be very sad or very dead.

I'm not one of those people who thinks that all tattoos have to be deep and meaningful, but this is a step too far even for me.

How long before that ball gives up and just rolls into the street causing some poor unsuspecting person to then be the one at the end of their tether.

As someone pointed out, you can just use a knife to scoop them off again and save the cake, 2020 cannot be saved with such an easy fix, sadly.

I always thought that there was no sadder sight than a balloon floating away, but now I know that the sight of it with an arm still attached is far more depressing!

Apparently, the CD included the likes of The Plain White T's, Kelly Clarkson, Beyoncé, Lil Jon, and many other selected acts, so I'll let you judge how the relationship was from that.

I mean, if someone gave me something like this I wouldn't be able to avoid being driven crazy by the lack of apostrophe in "I'm." And, that probably says more about me as a person, but whatever.

Well, you know, the best treasure is something that you're meant to go looking for and have to dig up on a desert island having followed an old-timey map! Although, if that treasure chest is full of friends, they're probably going to be dead.

This one is really hard to look at. Always check who you're sending your messages to, guys, for the love of God check your messages!

It just looks so sad that no one wants to sit on it any more. Maybe it could retrain as something else, a piece of modern art for instance?

Well, on the positive side, they have beers to drown their sorrows with. God knows they'd need a beer after this!

Same. I think that I might actually get this tattooed across my forehead, maybe in French so it sounds more elegant though.

This is the sort of shirt that I feel someone wears when they're pretending they're okay with their misery.

You wouldn't think that someone could be so heartless with such a happy-looking balloon, and yet here we are, watching the slow descent of a cheerful balloon into its grave.

I know I think science is just modern magic, so this is very fitting.

On America's most American day, he wanted everyone to know he's not involved at all.

This makes for a fun little mystery, though. What kind of trap could it be? Is it all an illusion? Will the box grab your hand when you reach in? So many possibilities!

The groan that left me when I saw this was unlike one I'd ever done before. This is one of the most peak dad jokes I've ever seen. I'm impressed, but not happy about it.

"You're pretty cute. You're not about to infringe on my cuteness, right? I don't have to worry about you stealing the spotlight? Good."

That's what you get for wearing cutoff jean shorts and Crocs in public.

Hey, they have shifts to fill, and someone out there will work any conditions for bartender tips alone.

I don't know about you, but I never knew my real ladder, and my step ladder really stepped in and supported me when I needed it.

I, personally, think Toad has never looked better. That dress really suits him!

Now, these are the types of historical landmarks I care about. Way more iconic than fighting in whatever battle.

Prayer doesn't always work on its own. Sometimes, you need a more aggressive approach.

It's either time to put that on a new set of keys, or retire it completely. You have to know when to give up.

Is the Grand Canyon really once in a lifetime? Can't you just go see it whenever you want?

A little mad that a squirrel can make a scarier pumpkin than me. Only a little. I promise.

You always think that this is the sort of thing that will just happen to other people, I can't imagine the heartache. Bet it smelled great around there though.

So ungodly they're bordering on dangerous, this is too much chill!

That explains whie me handsh are alwaysh drunk at the momenthz!

*Hiccups in sign language...