In my experience, most stories of engagement and/or wedding drama that are posted in the subreddit r/AmITheAsshole are shared by the bride.
But in this case, the tea is actually being spilled by the groom, who came to Reddit in the hopes of finding out whether it would be wrong to ban his own brother from attending his wedding.
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As the man explained, he and his fiancée are going to be tying the knot in December, and are currently busy planning for the big day.
Since they’re almost down to the wire, it’s not hard to imagine that the pair have started getting a bit stressed with trying to make everything as perfect as possible. And this whole debacle has only made their pre-wedding stress worse.
Way worse.
A few weeks ago, the groom-to-be met up with his brother and the discussion inevitably turned towards his impending nuptuals.
As he wrote ,
“[My brother] asked if it’d be okay for him to propose to his girlfriend at our wedding. I laughed and said ‘Yeah, sure, if you want to get your ass handed to you by my fiancée’. He laughed, and I figured he got the message.”
However, it would turn out that that message was not received at all.
Recently, the man’s fiancée came to him “in tears”, saying his brother had called her to thank her for giving him her blessing for his proposal.
“She told him that had never happened, and he wasn’t allowed to do that,” the man recalled, “and he just laughed and thanked her again.”
Of course, the groom confronted his brother about his proposal plans and found out they were more nefarious than he’d originally thought.
As he explained, his brother told him he would be proposing to his girlfriend at the wedding not just out of love, but also revenge.
“He claims it’s ‘getting even’ for when I announced our engagement at the same family dinner he brought his girlfriend to meet the family,” the groom wrote , adding that when he made that announcement, he wasn’t even aware his brother and new girlfriend had even arrived.
Of course, the groom told his brother this was definitely not about to happen at his wedding, and if he couldn’t accept that, then both he and his girlfriend would be banned from attending.
Since the argument, the groom said he and his fiancée have been dealing with some hate from his family who are outraged to hear he’s threatening to ban his brother from his wedding, and who are accusing him of “turning [his] back on [his] own brother.”
So he’s asking the people of Reddit one question: is he the asshole in this situation?
Unsurprisingly, the answer was a unanimous, “no”.
“It’s your wedding,” one person reasoned. “Besides, proposing at a wedding is super awkward. The wedding is about the couple, not someone who’s going to be getting married in the future.”
Someone else agreed, “It baffles me why so many people think proposing at a wedding is okay. It is so damn tacky. If you want to celebrate a proposal with family, plan an engagement party.”
Others spoke up to say that the proposal itself is just a truly bizarre idea, and one that the groom clearly hasn’t thought through all the way.
“A marriage that starts with a revenge proposal probably isn’t going to last,” this user wrote. “If he feels like he needs to one-up his brother, he can’t be that secure or happy in his own relationship.”
Another person added, “If my husband had proposed to me at someone else’s wedding reception I’d have known for sure that he wasn’t someone I’d want to marry.”
The groom has since shared an update to this story to let everyone know what the new developments are.
According to that post , a lot has happened.
He’s shared the real reason for his brother’s proposal with his family members, particularly with those who were against him banning his brother, which has resulted in a lot of them switching their support over to the groom.
He and his fiancée have even asked any remaining relatives to RSVP that they will not be attending their wedding, since they most certainly are not welcome if they are still on the brother’s side.
But wait, there’s more.
The groom also revealed that his brother is still banned from the wedding, and their mom won’t be attending either “because of how [he’s] ‘alienating’ [his] brother during an important event”.
And in perhaps the biggest development of them all, the brother’s girlfriend (the one he was going to propose to) has since broken up with him and is now a bridesmaid in the wedding.
Wow . What do you think of all of this? Was the groom right to ban his brother or was he overreacting? Let us know!
h/t: Reddit
