Mother-in-laws have a pretty bad rap, and while there are many out there who are perfectly wonderful, there are enough crazies out there to make the stereotype stick.
Many of those “Monsters-in-law” seem unaware of their flaws or worse, don’t see anything wrong with the ways they might be acting towards their child’s new partner.
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Due to this, any MIL posting a question on the r/AmItheAsshole subreddit is probably going to have some bias from the crowd.
![Image credit: Reddit | [deleted]](https://static.diply.com/EI8gYAqVzS0S1ApP9Nsp.png)
That didn’t stop a woman from taking her situation there for the crowd to judge: is she wrong for not being interested in meeting her grandchild?
Since posting and receiving her verdict, the user has deleted her anonymous account. So I’ll simply refer to her as MIL from here out.
This isn’t a newborn grandson, either. The child is already six years old.
MIL explains that she has never met him because she has been out of contact with her son’s family since his birth.
Her explanation is that her husband’s wife is “very controlling” and wasn’t happy when MIL didn’t show enough excitement over her pregnancy.
“She demanded that I buy all of the baby clothes but she got to pick them out and I told her to f— off. She then made a big deal about me swearing at her and demanded an apology.”
They were distant for a bit afterward, but according to MIL, they didn’t cut off contact entirely because her daughter-in-law “was still hoping for gifts.”
When it turned out that MIL was going to be away for the baby’s birth, DIL was upset again.
“She demanded that I cancel and it got into a conversation about family being more than blood and I said I don’t consider her family.”
Oof.
The DIL then insisted contact be cutoff entirely, which MIL says her son didn’t actually want.
“It hurt but I accepted it and six years later he reached out.”
She says she wasn’t even that excited to be back in contact, but they talked and she’s happy to have back in her life.
However, when he brought up meeting his child, her grandson, she balked.
“I’m really not interested.”
“The thought of meeting him or seeing her fills me with dread, and at this point it just feels like an obligation. I told my son it was too late and I’m not interested. Now I feel guilty for saying it but I still don’t want to meet him.”
Unsurprisingly, MIL’s tone throughout her post raised the hackles of many people.
“I’d bet my life there’s more to this story and you’re only telling your snitty side of it,” noted holigramj56.
The lack of nuance and descriptions of MIL’s own language were kind of telling.
“Yeah, just the first paragraph made me go WTF. And I never get terribly excited about babies, being the odd, single, asexual being I am. But I don’t ever tell the mother to be to f— off,” added Curtisziraa
“You’re The Asshole” verdicts were common.
“YTA for allowing your dislike of someone to overcome your love for your flesh and blood son and grandson. Sounds like you’re more childish than the six-year-old,” said AngelMeatPie, which sums up the points of most YTA voters.
MIL wasn’t completely considered to blame, though. “Everyone Sucks Here” was also a popular vote.
After asking for info about DIL’s mom, augustfeverdream said , “ESH. She sounds entitled and rude, and by the sound of it that’s a learned behavior from her mother. On the other hand, your lack of empathy and inability to care about relationships that should be important is borderline sociopathic.”
And there are even some votes for “Not The Asshole” in the mix.
“NTA You don’t need to keep in touch with blood and tbh you don’t need to have any other reason than ‘I don’t want to’,” said gil-loki.
Personally, I’m on the Everyone Sucks Here crew.
I think that while it’s true that no one should be forced into contact with anyone they don’t wish to be, MIL’s whole mood leaves something to be desired, regardless of how annoying or demanding DIL was being.
What do you think? Let us know in the comments!
