I’m sure I don’t have to tell you this year has been less than spectacular. Like, way less.
Personally, I’ve been having a hard time feeling upbeat lately, which can definitely be attributed to all the nonsense that’s been going on around me for months now. But I know that when that happens, I can always turn to the ladies of Twitter to make me laugh and help me feel just a little bit better about things.
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Here are some of the funniest tweets your online gal pals have put out lately that are sure to put a smile on your face.
Keep ’em guessing.
This is the kind of game I play whenever I walk into my kitchen and I almost always end up walking out with crumbs on my face so you decide which path I took in there.
Gardening be like that.
I love gardening, but we really need to talk about this more because my mom really had me thinking it was a worthwhile venture when I was a kid.
Why though?
They also regularly decide the outside world isn’t enough for them and try to come into my house like they own the place.
Honestly, the nerve of them.
Treat yourself!
The other day I shampooed my hair for the first time in almost a week and it felt so good, I had myself convinced I was at the hair salon getting a full blow-out.
Y’all got some issues.
Anytime I’ve witnessed one of my friends doing something bad during this pandemic, I’ve made a mental note that I will not be going out of my way to see them once everything is over and it’s safe again.
Y’all lost your BFF privileges with your stupidity.
Someone please explain why this is so true.
Maybe it’s your brain trying to convince you it was worth it, so it makes you think it tastes 10x better than it really does.
That’s my theory, anyway. Feel free to throw your own in the comments, I’d love to hear them.
How did I ever do that?
Now I’m lucky if I taste fresh air more than twice a week. I haven’t talked to anyone outside of my apartment building in months.
I’ve genuinely forgotten how to be social, and I’m not sure I’ll ever really get that one back again. Thanks, COVID.
Tragic.
I keep catching myself feeling down about now being able to travel, as if I actually had the time and money to do so and it was COVID that threw a big wrench in those plans.
Yeah, right.
I really don’t know what’s going on.
I try to stay out of these kinds of conversations but always inevitably find myself dragged into them, so I usually just end up mumbling something about how much it costs to buy something online from out of country.
9/10 times, that gets me through just fine.
You clowns.
Someone on my Instagram posted a photo the other day claiming they “finally” got together with their friends for a “socially distanced birthday bash”.
I’ll tell you, not one person had a mask on and I only saw one beer funnel floating around. I am deeply concerned about each and every one of them.
Change my mind.
And while we’re on the subject, Dijon is just yellow mustard that spent the summer in France as an Au Pair.
They really love keeping you updated.
While I appreciate being in on the know, I don’t think it’s entirely prudent I find out that Dennis is manning the grill today and trainee Bianca gave me an extra sauce packet.
I’d take that.
After high school I found out most people thought I hated them because I was always sporting a very venomous RBF (resting bitch face).
So I guess I sort of left the same impression.
Every time.
I’ve learned that if I want to get stuff done, I can’t let myself sit down on the couch, even if “just for a second” because in five minutes I will be vertical and I will be snoring. Guaranteed.
Just try and figure out who I am.
I have genuinely never felt more confident than I do when my entire face is concealed.
Sad? Yes. True? 100%.
I never got passed it.
It’s like everyone else leveled up to home baking and making Tik Tok videos while I sat stalled in the first phase of quarantine life in my poorly tie-dyed shirt drinking coffee that took 20 minutes to make.
I sure hope so.
If not, I need scientists to figure out a way for us to relay this information to dogs ASAP because they deserve to know.
No thank you.
I’m not sure how married people handle that kind of nonsense, but I sure would like to avoid it.
Nice try.
This burger made out quinoa and sweet potatoes isn’t fooling anyone, but it’s cute you think so.
The audacity.
Honestly, what else are husbands good for if not to take out the trash? It’s like, you have one job to do??
