Quotes For When You’re Way Too Old For Tinder

Admittedly, I’ve always hated the very process of dating. Oh, meeting a nice person and hopefully connecting over a good meal is nice and all, but the whole process of finding a person to make said date with is a mess.

I’ve never been a fan of crowded bars and going out to “the club” is hellish for me, so it can be hard to even meet new people, let alone the “right” kind of people.

My only long-term relationship wasn’t even the result of a random meet-cute. It was a setup by a friend.

She planned a bowling night with friends and invited me along.


In particular, she said she’d met a guy through work who had just moved to town and was, and I quote, “the male version of you.”

I mean, she wasn’t far off the mark. Our first date involved a long discussion about Sailor Moon and we were together for almost ten years.

Even now, though we aren’t a couple anymore, we’re still best friends.

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Which is awesome, but now I’m stuck in my mid-30s and a decade behind on the current dating scene. Apparently, there are apps now?

Last time I was in the dating pool, it was still seen as weird for a couple to meet online.


To put things into perspective, the same month he and I went on our first date, Facebook opened up for use by people outside of colleges and universities, Google was two months away from buying this new video site called YouTube, and the unveiling of the first iPhone was six months away.

I couldn’t even be bothered to learn to text, because my phone was a Motorola Razr and texting from a dial pad was awful.

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Add on the fact that a 30-year-old woman comes with a lot more baggage than a 20-something and dating is just a lot now. Tinder hookups are fun and all, but my biological clock is ticking down and I need something more substantial these days.

Alas, the apps are where people are, so here I go into the breach. Pray for me.