Twitter | @MarriageMartini

Quotes From People Who Are Dreaming Of Divorce Papers

Oh, men. Men, men, men. You always know the wrong thing to say, don't you?

I'm not sure if it's something guys are born with or if every man just comes to learn it themselves in life, but they never can seem to keep their feet out of their mouths.

Sometimes it's entertaining, like when you're witnessing someone else try to back-pedal their way out of a very unfortunate comment and you've got a front-row seat to that train wreck.

But other times it's your own man saying things that makes you physically stop everything because *he did not just say that, did he??*

I've heard my fair share of these comments that have left me feeling like I'm in one of those murder documentaries on Netflix, right at the point where the narrator says, "That's when investigators say she snapped."

Because indeed, it's those kinds of comments that make me want to lose it.

The most recent of these comments happened while I was hinting to my own man that my birthday is coming up.


Instead of asking me what I wanted to do to celebrate the day, or what (if any) gifts I wouldn't mind receiving, he decided to go a much different, much worse route.

He asked me what day my birthday was, and proceeded to guess just about every day except the right one.

I know, I know: It's kind of a silly thing to get mad about.


But yet there I was, mad as heck, and significantly less giddy about my upcoming birthday than I had been at the beginning of the conversation.

Sometimes talking to men just be like that.

But nothing, *nothing*, can compare to the comments that have to do with your weight.

Those are the ones that most definitely make women dream of divorce papers. And possibly even make them try to remember the plot of that show How to Get Away with Murder.

You know, just for fun.