The world is full of strange people, and more often than not these strange people come to some incredibly bizarre conclusions about the reality of the world around us.
And, with this incredibly high-brow philosophical idea in mind, please enjoy these 14+ times we came to the strangest conclusions.
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“My cousin got busted with pot and now has to turn in these worksheets about alcohol and drug use. This was one of his answers.”
I don’t know why it is that every time I get drunk I always eat enough junk food to stop the heart of an elephant. You’d think that I’d learn, but alas, I never do.
“I wish I were there when they figured this out.”
I can just imagine this being figured out by one smoking, sleep-deprived maintenance worker standing in a room looking at a board with bits of red string joining pictures of all of the appliances in the building.
These Are The Real Questions!
I’m going to say that the answer to this is yes. The reason behind that answer is that I wish life were more like a cartoon!
“Someone replaced the out of order sign on the vending machine at work.”
I didn’t realize there were vending machines out there that were meant to be giving out food in exchange for money. I thought that was just something they did every now and again when they fancied.
“My mom ordered a graduation cake with a cap drawn on. I guess they misheard.”
Just look at the absolute state of that cat as well. I feel like that is closer to being a cap than a cat. I’ve never seen a cat look like that, that’s for sure!
“My kid created what I thought was an angry-rage-boner-poop-fly guy…”
In fairness, I would probably have made the same mistake. Although, that probably says more about us than I would care to admit.
“Worst name for a perfume.”
I don’t know, I quite like it actually. I think that it will really grab people’s attention! Well, either that or it will make people start taking escalators more, who knows!
Check And Mate Bob!
This is passive-aggressiveness of the highest order, and I am all about it. I can just picture Bob looking out of his window and angrily shaking his fist!
“Owl attacks have been on the rise at a local park. Warning signs have now been put in place.”
I love the contrast between the text reading “scenic bikeway” and then the picture of the furious owl attacks!
“Delivered the mail, boss!”
I wonder what part of this delivery person’s training it was that told them that it was actually okay to bend this?!
Always Heed The Warning Signs In Life!
Best to just play it safe and weave your way down the street covering both right and left lanes!
“I think we’re jumping to conclusions here.”
There were clearly some huge brains behind this realization. I wonder what it was in the first place that prompted them to investigate this correlation?
“Saw a bunch of Instagram [moms] do letterboards. Thought I’d give it a go.”
The face on that baby says that he is also not too sure about the whole arrangement!
“My boss told me to find a way to keep mice out of our cable tray. I think this should work!”
In fairness, mice are very respectful creatures, so I reckon this might work. I mean, they’re not the kind of creature that poops in your house and steals your food after all.
“I saw this on the highway and had to do a double take. They should really watch their word placement.”
Although, I suppose its accuracy depends on what music they play. Are they playing The 1975 or the Foo Fighters for instance? If they are, then this scans right.
“Time To Work Out!”
I actually am wondering why people ever go to the gyms that don’t have that golden “M” on them, as those ones just have treadmills and no chicken nuggets.
“I thought a naked mannequin was sitting between them!”
As best I can tell, he is not wearing a shirt, and she is wearing really short shorts? However, I can still only see the mannequin!
“A warning note from Dr. Hedgeh.”
How many times do you reckon that this had happened before they snapped? I think I’d quite like the name Dr. Hedgehog! I don’t know why they’d be so angry!
“The answer is no. You should NOT vacuum pack bagels.”
Other things on the extensive list of things you shouldn’t vacuum pack are family pets, soups, and your grandparents.
Not What You Think It Is…
That is a remarkably weird choice of sign for a heating and cooling store. Were they trying to pick the sign that made it look most like a strip club?
“Best/Worst Results!”
Clearly the person who came up with this “worst result” has just been dragging their clothes through the wrong puddles! You need to be firing soapy water out of a Super Soaker in front of the car as you go, you Muppet!
“My friend just got the worst fortune cookie ever.”
Christ alive, this is giving me anxiety and it’s not even my fortune…I hope! This is how I feel every time I wake up after getting drunk.
“This is the best fortune I’ve ever had!”
I guess that blue could be considered a lucky number… I mean, if you played the lottery and they picked out “blue,” then that’d be pretty unlikely!
“Had to do a double take with this photo I took.”
But…why did he have his hand like this anyway? I can’t help but think there was someone just out of the shot charging at him, ready to boot him in the ‘nads.
Nice Way Of Looking At It!
This is perhaps the bleakest example of optimism I’ve ever laid my eyes on. It’s quite impressive actually!
Did Someone Really Think This Was Enough?
I can’t wait for all of the whiny people with mopey voices saying, “Well, actually, the pole down the center is the main structural blah, blah, blah!”
“Was leaving the airport today and had to do a double take.”
Yeah, I’ll admit that I was also somewhat taken aback when I first saw this picture! It’s a hand though… Of course it’s a hand!
“Possibly the worst poem I’ve ever read. I don’t care if he is in second grade!”
Ah, now, I think that it’s got something! I like how bleak and quietly miserable it is!
“I’m not a giant, I’m just installing new flooring at a pre-school.”
Everyone in the comments was suspicious about this man’s claims, and I have to agree. It sounds an awful lot like he’s trying to cover up his life as a giant contractor…
“Bought XL tank tops from Walmart so they’re not skin tight, this is not what I expected.”
On the bright side, if you change those pants and accessorize a little, you have the perfect outfit for a girls’ night out!
“Not a huge fan of the new candy machine at work. 0/10, tastes terrible.”
We all know that the yellow/pink ones are trash anyway. Blue’s where it’s at.
“Martini dog is not amused.”
As if he wasn’t embarrassed enough, now he has to navigate with that giant stick? This is cruel!
Oh Yeah, I Guess So.
Looking at life objectively and through a metaphor at the same time? This is high-level stuff.
“[…] My wife is 5’1” and I am 6’7”, when it comes to hotel robes, one size does not fit all.”
Does it cover all the important bits? Yes? Then it does fit. Case closed.
“Took my tooth paste but not my rifle.”
Well, I don’t know if you knew this, but toothpaste is a highly sophisticated and dangerous weapon that could kill thousands. A rifle? Couldn’t hurt a fly.
“Girl thinks paparazzi is taking photos of her; doesn’t yet realize a supermodel (Karlie Kloss) is right behind her.”
I hope she never noticed. I hope she relishes this moment forever. In these photos, she’s the supermodel.
“Hotel I’m staying at right now, who’s job was this? Go go gadget arm!”
There is an important lesson on resource management here. You’re meant to stock up on toilet paper beforehand, guessing the amount by what you think is going to happen.
“I’m not even mad, that’s amazing.”
I like to think they want to speak to him not to get him in trouble, but to interview him regarding his motivations. His goals.
“My grandma thought this was a cross so she hung it up. I decided not to correct her.”
Well that’s just silly. A dream catcher looks nothing like a cross!
“I was asked to be the example of ‘What not to wear’ for our companies [*sic*] new dress code policy. How did I do?”
You can’t be super jacked or a cowboy at this job? Sounds lame.
“Cat + tiny rubber hands = Judgmental cat who demands an explanation.”
I’m seeing more of a therapy cat: “Right, and how did it make you feel when your dog stole the last slice of pizza out of the box?”
“PEACHES!!!”
I’m movin’ to a new house. I’m gonna yell me a lot of peaches.
“I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but I think he’s been cheating on me.”
There is nothing quite like the feeling of betrayal when you begin to suspect something like this. Bad dog!
“The Oreo bag didn’t seal right. Then the seal on the plastic bag ripped. So this is how my dad sealed up the Oreos.”
These are some pretty extreme measures, but then again Oreos are like edible gold, so they need to be protected.
“I thought they were announcing the death of their child!”
Good God, I thought the same thing and couldn’t believe any parent would post this. Why wouldn’t they write, “Only child until…” instead of using the word “expired”?
