Watching a horror film can be a very stressful experience, not just because of the jump scares and such, but because people are also incredibly stupid in horror movies!
And, with this idea in mind, please enjoy these 12+ people who wouldn’t survive a horror movie.
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“My son drew this today. I’m afraid to go to sleep.”
I’d be moving out of that house pretty quick if I were you. This kid knows something about your house that you clearly don’t!
“I put a zombie face in front of our baby monitor. My wife was not happy when she checked on our baby in the middle of the night.”
I think if I did something like this to my partner, I would find myself in quite the pickle in the middle of the night.
“My Son, The Hide And Seek Master.”
This kid will be just great at hiding from whatever terrifying thing is after him in the horror movie that he finds himself in!
“Hold me, I’m scared!”
“If I see that little guy again I’ll be ready, and then I’ll really show him who’s boss!”
“Okay, want me to put you down now?”
“No… Dear God, no!”
“Kid pictured came first in a 5k race. He said it was because he was scared of the goose that was chasing him. Posted by his aunt who took the photo.”
The uploader said that his aunt had likely thought that the tunnel was a good place to get some photos of him running. They also pointed out that this is not a goose, but a duck.
“We brought home a cat. He’s a little scared, so he’s ‘hiding’.”
And you thought that the kid under the swimming pool was bad at hiding! Well, this cat has got nothing on his hiding skills!
“6 year old couldn’t sleep at night because she was scared of monsters so the Doctor gave her this spray.”
Ah yes, this might help in a horror movie except for the fact that it is so expensive that she won’t be able to buy any more! Monster repellent spray is the most expensive spray on the market!
“I sat on the toilet, closed the door, and my 2yo decided I wasn’t pooping myself fast enough.”
You are incredibly vulnerable when you are on the toilet! Always be sure to check your surroundings for anything of danger beforehand! Has this person not seen Zombieland ? This is one of the first rules, isn’t it?
“Local school had a tornado warning, everyone was terrified except billy.”
There is always that one guy in the horror movie who is far too cocky and doesn’t believe in the severity of what is going on… In this instance that is Billy!
“Sully is afraid of the neighbour’s cat.”
“I’m not afraid of the cat, you know. I just like sitting behind this potted plant…”
“Okay, well, why don’t I move the potted plant closer to the cat then?”
“No, I don’t think that would be a very good idea at all.”
“I was trying to take a picture of my sleeping cat but I ended up scaring her instead.”
Ah yes, cats truly are some of nature’s most graceful and fierce creatures, aren’t they?
“Introducing, my middle child (note the 3 other children playing normally). She found a dead squirrel and was super excited.”
A golden rule of surviving horror movies is to not assume anything is really dead. For all she knows, that squirrel could leap back into life and bite her!
“I’ve been waiting for a package all day. The mail man finally arrived, but promptly fell asleep.”
Yet another vitally important rule when it comes to surviving a horror movie… Don’t fall asleep in an exposed place!
“I ain’t scared of no ghost.”
Hmmm, yes, it’s good advice and all that, but it looks like they may have been taking this picture while driving…? “Never ignore the warning signs” is step one of surviving a horror movie.
“Don’t say we didn’t warn you.”
How many times do I have to tell you? You always heed the warning signs when it comes to surviving a horror movie!
“Was scared I was going to get pulled over when I noticed…”
If you fell for that, then there is no hope for you in the zombie apocalypse! I also remember being terrified of the Transformers films, not because they’re scary but because they’re so horrifically terrible.
“Mom told me the rooster was after her today. Had to check security camera to verify.”
Jesus Christ! Geese, ducks, and now roosters?! Why is everyone so deathly afraid of poultry?!
“So I’m off work at 2:30am, get home and need to use the bathroom. I swear I felt my soul try and leave.”
In fairness, I also thought that it was a giant spider and was quite in shock. However, they went on to explain, “It’s a piece of a fake feather boa… my youngest dies tomorrow.”
“Mom, can I have this apple? -That’s not an an apple! That’s an onion! -No it’s not! -Alright, If you insist.”
Ah, the important life lesson of being wrong. It’s not worth it to force yourself through the onion, kid. Just admit it was never an apple.
“My uncle’s dog caught a bird and failed in his attempt to hide it from the other dog.”
“If I don’t look at him…if I don’t even move …maybe he won’t notice. “
“I was too tired to keep getting up and check my pot if it was boiling, so I just skyped it.”
Does this still count as a watched pot? Will it ever boil?
“There’s lazy, and then there’s this guy.”
Going to a festival just to film it and watch it later feels like a multi-level genius move, but in reality, it’s just…inconvenient.
“Dish soap probably wasn’t the best choice of cleaners.”
Why do people think that using dish soap for anything other than dishes is a good idea?
“She was too lazy to move while dad was mowing the lawn.”
You can see defiance in her face. This is her lawn. It will not be cut back or modified, not without resistance. Or she really is just lazy.
“It’s not stupid if it works!”
No, I think it can work and be stupid. I think it has the potential for that type of duality.
“This thrift store must think I’m an idiot.”
It being the only VHS left on that whole shelving unit makes it all the more ominous. Buy at your own discretion.
“I got locked out and my cat just gave me this stupid look.”
Your cat definitely locked you out. This is top tier teasing face. “Haha, dumb human.”
“An example of poor footwear choice.”
Be it with blistered heels or broken toes, he will get this thing delivered!
“A few weeks ago my friend who was nervous about getting his first cat finally adopted one. Today he sends me this.”
Hmm. I also just adopted a cat. Maybe I should start sleeping with one eye open.
“I got nervous.”
Yeah, nervous… I’m sure it was just that and not a decent amount of drinks in you.
“My best friend is studying abroad in Thailand. He’s always been afraid of monkeys.”
If you’re afraid of monkeys, I feel like Thailand is one of the worst places you could have chosen to visit, second only to this specific field of monkeys.
“My cousin just brought home her cat from her [ex’s] house. I asked what he was doing and she says he does this when he’s nervous. He plays dead in a box.”
I can’t say he’s a very good actor, but hey, whatever helps!
“Flew in a helicopter for the first time at work, the pilot’s helmet wasn’t calming.”
Well, that’s reassuring. Although, unnecessary screaming is one of the most annoying character traits that a character can have in a horror film so I can understand their annoyance!
“I think my RA is getting lazy.”
You’d think everyone would know this by now too, but college students always have been and always will be a different breed.
“I’m deathly afraid of heights so went to the Skydeck at the Willis Tower, slowly inched to the edge, and took a pic. Thought I nailed it til I saw the photo…”
I’m torn here, because they’ve obviously done something very brave by confronting their fears. However, they still look absolutely terrified!
