Relationships are by no means easy. They require a lot of work, however, arguments are also an unavoidable part of being in a relationship.
Some arguments are worse than others, and sometimes people will seek out the opinion of a third party on an argument; and, there is no better place for this than Reddit’s “Am I The Asshole” subreddit!
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1 — Saying their wife isn’t their “dream girl”.
Yes, you read that right, and this story is that bad! One reddit user took to Reddit to ask, “AITA for saying my wife wasn’t my ‘dream girl’ in a trivia game?” And I thought that the trivia games in my flat could get heated, they’re nothing compared to this!
“So my wife and I have been doing a game night every so often with some other couples via zoom […]
“We were playing this card game the other night that was like basically a trivia game for couples to play and you are asked a question and you write down your answer and your partner has to guess what they think you answered.”
Then, the “Who is your dream man/woman to have sex with” question came up.
Now, I know that you will be screaming the obvious answer that he should have written, but alas, he didn’t! The story continued:
“I wrote down my spin instructor, since my wife knows I think she’s hot, and thought she’d guess her and we’d get a point. Well, turns out every other husband either wrote down their wife or a celebrity/fictional character.
“My wife was livid, and upset. I tried to explain I didn’t actually want to do anything with my spin instructor and I would never even briefly consider being unfaithful, it was just me trying to play the game.”
Apparently, their wife doesn’t believe that it was part of the game however.
“She doesn’t believe me, saying everyone else’s instinct was women who didn’t exist or better yet, their wives. I feel really bad, but also really confused. I don’t know how to deal with this. Is she overreacting or am I an asshole?” they ended by writing.
The internet almost unanimously dubbed this person as indeed being an asshole in this situation, and in fairness, I can absolutely see why!
Their spin instructor… I am genuinely agog!
2 — Not letting their fiancé have their best friend as their best man.
This one is actually more complicated than it may seem, so bear with me for a moment. This person initially asked, “AITA for telling my fiancé that his best friend can’t be his best man?” and their story started as such:
“We each put a percentage of our earnings into two funds: one for our wedding and another for a down payment on a home. We’ve budgeted it out pretty well. At this rate, we’ll have enough to buy a home around the same time as our wedding, as planned.”
They also went on to say that they’re having a small destination wedding which they’re paying for themselves. Adding, “I’m also paying for [my family to come and] one of my bridesmaids who went into teaching and doesn’t make much. My fiancé wouldn’t really have the disposable cash to do that, but his family can afford to pay and is happy for the vacation.”
However, the best man recently crashed his motorbike while drunk.
Yes, the Tom, the 30-year-old best man, was drunk and crashed his motorbike and had to pay extensive medical bills so can’t afford to come to the wedding. Their fiancé wants to pay thousands for his medical bills and for his trip, almost draining their savings. However, this person went on to say:
“I could afford to do both, but I don’t want to. I can’t stand this friend. He often drives drunk, doesn’t have a job, makes snarky comments about my fiancé that he insists are just jokes (but that I know hurt my fiancé), and lives in his parents basement. I was willing to have him up there as best man because my fiancé considers him a brother and it’s his choice.”
When she told her fiancé she didn’t want to give Tom their savings, her fiancé called her selfish.
“My fiancé has suggested taking a huge chunk of our savings for a house to help, and I said no. We got in a huge fight and he called me selfish and cruel, at which point I lost it, told him his loser friend did this to himself, and that there was no way in hell I’d pay anything for his sorry ass. I ended by saying, ‘if he can’t afford to come, he can’t be your best man’,” they wrote.
They went on to say that their fiancé hasn’t spoken to them for days. Ultimately, the internet seemed to be firmly on her side, as I am! However, whose side are you on here?
3 — Forcing their partner to take regular showers.
This one is a little on the weird side, as this person wrote, “AITA for forcing my girlfriend to take a shower before bed each night?”
They started by writing, “I know this isn’t the practice for all people or couples, but I think it is good hygiene. This is even more true during summer when people sweat more and have more body oil.”
Apparently they never used to care, but have started to recently.
Apparently, this person didn’t really care too much about whether their partner had showered before, but now that they are living together they very much do… which seems incredibly strange and manipulative.
“In the past when she would spend the night, I never said anything, but now that we are living together and sharing a bed each night, I told her that she can’t come home and crawl into bed without taking a shower. She has to take a shower unless she is sick or there’s a good reason why,” they wrote.
This person is baffled at why their partner is angry with them!
“She has taken this the wrong way and is viewing this as me telling her she is dirty, but it’s not unique to her. I do this myself because I also would be gross if I didn’t shower before bed. I don’t think she is gross at all, and I think she actually would feel better and more relaxed if she took a pre-bed shower. I do,” they finished by writing.
However, people on the internet were far from tolerant of this person’s controlling behaviour, with the top response being:
“You have no right to ‘force’ her to shower at a specific time. For some people it’s normal to shower every other day. Who are you to tell her that she needs a ‘good excuse’ to not follow your rules? You aren’t her parent you’re her partner.”
4 — “AITA for telling the girl who kissed my boyfriend for a play that she is desperate and pathetic?”
The person who asked this is 19-years-old and on a drama course at university, along with her boyfriend. However, there is one girl on their course who has a bit of a thing for her boyfriend! She wrote:
“There’s one girl, let’s call her Victoria, who is obsessed with my boyfriend. She goes out of her way to be paired with him in group activities and she recently stepped down from a main role in a play we’re doing so she could be in a more minor one, simply because this character has a romance with my boyfriend. I know this is the case, because I’ve heard her say to her friends that she thinks he’s hot and what not.”
Apparently, this person has not mentioned this behaviour to her directly before.
They explained that they didn’t mention it as she seems quite insecure and they didn’t see it as too big of a deal as their boyfriend doesn’t care. However, they were recently at a post-show party “where she got slightly drunk and was bragging about how she ‘definitely felt something’ when they kissed in the play and she’s ‘going to ask him if he felt the same’.”
This person went on to say, “I rolled my eyes and again ignored it, until she actually went up to my boyfriend. She was a little bit drunk, and when she went up to him I was there too.”
The other girl asked the boyfriend if he also “felt a spark”.
“Victoria started saying that she knows he must have felt a spark, he’s a really good kisser, etc. I snapped, and sort of shouted at her that ‘you sound incredibly desperate, going after somebody else’s boyfriend. You’re pathetic if you think a stage kiss means you should be together’,” they wrote.
However, the other girl got very embarrassed and went home crying, with the other girl’s friends calling the person who wrote this an asshole.
However, I can fully understand where this person is coming from! Can you imagine going up to someone else’s partner, with them standing right there, and asking if they felt a spark when you kissed?
5 — The hound ultimatum.
This one is an absolute heartbreaker, so please be warned! This person started by writing:
“I had a dog when my wife and I got married. I loved her, she was my buddy. When my wife got pregnant, she became increasingly paranoid that the dog would be a danger to the baby. She brought up rehoming, and I refused. She was an ‘aggressive breed’, but she was trained.
“One day, she called me crying at work that the dog ran away and she couldn’t run after her. I believed her. I looked for that dog for weeks. I finally just accepted it because we had to go to the hospital to welcome our child and there were just other pressing concerns.”
However, a few years later, this person found out something distressing.
Apparently, their wife had taken the dog to the pound while he was at work. They explained, “It’s been 5 years since then, and we now have three children. I’ve wanted to get a new dog, but the kids take a lot of energy and time. My wife has always had a new excuse not to get another dog.
“I found out recently that my dog didn’t run away, my wife and her father took the dog to the pound while I was at work because her parents agreed with her about the dog being ‘dangerous’.”
If you’re already feeling angry at this story, then you’re doing it right.
This person explained how furious they were at finding this out!
And rightly so! They ended their story by writing, “I would never have agreed to that. She probably never got adopted. I’m honestly mad enough to consider a separation if not for the kids and practical reasons. I’ve told her that the only way to make it up even a little bit is for us to get a dog. She ultimately doesn’t want a dog at all, and complained that she would have to do too much with it. I’m not planning to let up on this one this time.”
The internet was less than pleased with this person’s wife, as you can imagine. The most popular answer that people had to this situation was, “Get a dog after your divorce dude.”
I genuinely cannot imagine how I could ever live with someone after discovering this, could you?
