Many parents enjoy throwing their kids lavish and exciting birthday parties when their special day rolls around. The hardest part about that, besides planning and buying everything, is coming up with a guest list. There’s always family to invite, of course. But, inviting your kids’ friends can add up to pretty big numbers. That can be a lot to handle for parents.
Many parents try to invite everyone in their kid’s class.
In an attempt to not hurt anyone’s feelings, many parents opt to invite every child in their kid’s class. That way, no one feels left out by not being invited.
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However, some parents only invite a select few.
Sometimes, parties are on the smaller size and they only invite a few kids. Other times, parties are just about family and not as many friends from outside the family are included.
Even when parties are kept small, extra kids can manage to show up there anyway.
Sometimes, when a kid is invited to a birthday party and they have a sibling somewhat close in age, the parents try to bring both kids to the party.
While it works sometimes, it doesn’t always seem fair to the parents who are throwing the party.
Many parents allocate money for a certain number of kids, especially when it’s at a location that charges per kid. They may have purchased goodie bags or other things that are pre-planned based on the number of kids they thought were coming.
One mom recently opened up about this specific kind of situation on Reddit, asking if she’s in the wrong.
The post, which was penned by the mom’s niece to get some solid internet advice, was titled, “Am I The Asshole for not letting an uninvited child attend a birthday party?”
The mom said that many times in her parent circle, some parents drop off multiple kids at a party without sticking around.
Even when only one of the children is invited, some parents will bring said child’s siblings to the party, too. The parents don’t wait around to see if it’s okay, but just leave all of their kids at the party and drive away.
The mom has also been vocal about her distaste for this practice.
“I’ve made no secret about my distaste for such behavior when in the parent circle at parties. It’s an overall miserable situation for the sibling with no [friends] and usually out of their age group…” the mom said, adding that the hosting parent also has to scramble to find extra party supplies for the unexpected guests.
She said it’s the parents who have no regard for each other that get to her.
“Any emergency would at least come with an explanation and those parents I’m far more understanding towards. It’s the parent who has no regard for arrangements that gets to me,” she wrote.
For her own daughter’s birthday, due to COVID-19, this mom decided to keep things very, very small.
“We thought to take the kids to a craft party where each child gets a pre-chosen crafting pack to work with for the event. This worked out as the kids could have fun while social distancing. This event is a per-child, pre-paid event so any extra children would be unpaid for and would not have their own crafting kit. This fact was heavily emphasized to the parents and not a word of discontent was uttered,” she wrote.
When a parent came and tried to drop off both their children, even though only one was invited, the mom said the sibling was not allowed.
She told the parent that they had only so many craft packs allocated for each child. She also reminded her that she wanted to keep things as small as possible. However, the parent was not happy and took both of their kids home.
Some parents at the party said that the mom was wrong for saying “no to a child.” But, this mom said she thought it was, “important to stick to her word.”
When asking if she was wrong about the situation, the internet had a lot of opinions.
Many people answered the Reddit thread saying that this mom was completely right because birthday parties do not equate daycare. Many people pointed out that even birthday party places charge for extra children, too.
Many users said the parent who brought both their children to the party was in the wrong.
One person wrote:
“The parent was exhibiting extremely selfish and entitled behavior, and it at least did that child good to see that that isn’t universally tolerated.”
Other parents chimed in with their experiences of parents leaving all their kids at birthday parties.
“Thankfully, my kids haven’t been too into friend birthday parties, so we’ve only had a couple. At one of the parties, a mom came, said hello and walked out, leaving both her children (only her son was actually invited),” another user wrote.
Another parent chimed in saying that it’s the parents’ fault.
“What does that even mean ‘who says no to a child?’! Parents!! Parents are supposed to say no to a child… The reality is that in life you aren’t always going to get to do what you want because you throw a fit about it. Life has disappointments. It’s my job as a parent to help my kids learn to deal with those feelings in a healthy way, not steamroll other people,” they wrote.
Someone else said that if the child really wanted to go, the parent should have stepped up.
One said that if the child wanted to go, the parent should have chipped in.
“If child B was begging to go, the parents should have apologetically called beforehand and asked if it was okay if 1) they accompanied B and 2) paid for an extra craft pack,” they wrote.
One person who worked at a birthday party center chimed in, too.
“I used to work at a birthday event center and I’ve seen how quickly it can add up if you allow for siblings or other kids who weren’t invited to be included! No one wants to be the bad guy and tell a kid no, but birthday parties can be extremely expensive, and typically there is only enough food/activities/party favors for a certain number of kids,” they said.
Others said that it’s important for the parent who threw the party to talk to the parents who tried to drop off both kids.
“Your house, your rules. It’s Parent A’s fault for being disrespectful and dumping her younger child on you – making you the bad guy. Don’t feel bad. But DO have a clear conversation with the parent and express your feelings calmly and politely,” they said.
Overall, most people online supported this mom’s choice, even though it was a tough call.
They agreed that, while it was sad for the children who didn’t get to attend the party, the fault was with their parent for bringing them unannounced.
What do you think? Was this mom in the wrong?
