Weddings can be good fun; however, they can also be some of the most painfully cringe-worthy occasions of all times in the right hands!
One sadistic person decided to find out what some of the most awfully weird ideas that people had for their weddings by asking, “What’s the cringiest thing you’ve seen a bride and groom do for their wedding?”
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So, please get ready to want to jump off a building as I take you through the most eye-wateringly cringey and generally socking stories that peple had to offer!
Singing Their Vows
“They sang their vows to each other. Neither had a singing voice. Vows were generally bat shit crazy, like submissive in the bedroom, and not asking about where she was going. The autotune microphones were a terrible idea.
“Their vow songs shared a chorus and it was awful and they expected the guests to sing along with the chorus. The vows singing lasted 20 minutes. Pure cringe.” ⏤ loony-cat
Yep, this one is making my whole body tense up just imagining it. A sick part of me would love to see the wedding video though!
The Cake In The Face Incident
“At a classmates’ wedding. They were like 22 and there is apparently a caking tradition in some parts of the country, where when they cut the wedding cake, the couple smears each other’s faces with cake as a joke. The bride had absolutely made 1000% clear to the groom she did NOT want this.
“He did it anyways, but full on smushed the slice in her face. She, face full of cake, yelled ‘YOU ASSHOLE I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THAT!’ and then ran to a back area in the reception. The groom tried to follow but the bridesmaids/mother of the bride stopped him. So he sat at the head table awkwardly while half the wedding party rushed off with the bride. She stayed back there for like an hour.” ⏤ WeddingElly
This person went on to say that she did eventually come back out after a long argument. However, the ultimately ended up getting divorced 2 years later.
Playing An Out Of Tune Guitar On The Altar
“They began the wedding with the groom playing an out of tune guitar and singing to the bride. They were sitting on chairs in front of everyone, legit 400 people, and the bride was clearly uncomfortable which made everyone else uncomfortable. That wedding also included a foot-washing ceremony, and when the bride put her shoes back on she tripped on her dress and fell flat on her face. They hadn’t done the vows yet and the ceremony stopped for 20 minutes to deal with the nosebleed she gave herself.” ⏤ reflectorvest
When will people learn that the only people who should be singing at a wedding, are the wedding band that you’ve hired, or extremely drunk people at the very end of the night!
The Wildly Inappropriate Speech
“The groom gave a speech thanking everyone for coming that devolved in the space of about two minutes into a straight-up roast of his new brother-in-law. They were friends, and the brother-in-law seemed to take it in good humour, but there’s only so much implication of ‘I’m for sure going to be shagging your sister tonight’ that you can take before it becomes really cringy.
“It didn’t help that a) I barely knew anyone there because I was a plus one, and b) I was on the table with the elderly relatives from that side of the family, who were less than amused.” ⏤ Portarossa
I am always terrified of the speeches at weddings as you hear so many horror stories, I can never enjoy them, I just spend the whole time wishing for them to be over and for everything to be fine.
The Groom’s Comedy Sketch Routine
“The groomsman prepared a skit in which they ‘lost’ the groom at the reception and proceeded with over the top hands-on-hips, ‘Hey guys- Arent we forgetting SOMETHING? Well, where can he POSSiBLY Beeeeee?’ acting like some high school musical. None of the guests were prepared and silently fussed around with their drinks and silverware.
“When the whole thing ended, they anticipated like a standing ovation but it went over the heads of everyone. A lone voice muttered ‘That was kinda weird…’ as they made their exit quietly.” ⏤ VageCheese
Singing Down The Aisle
“The bride decided to sing as she walked down the aisle. She was not a particularly talented singer, and she was singing over a Carrie Underwood song so we could all hear the original vocal track. She finished walking about halfway through the song and then stood there and sang the rest of the song at the groom and all we could do was sit there and watch.” ⏤ reflectorvest
The idea of just standing there while your bride sings awkwardly into your face in front of your friends and family is so wildly uncomfortable that I don’t think I can dwell on it for too long!
Bride Flirting With Other Guests
“I wasn’t a guest, I was working the wedding. The bride got drunk and sat on some other dudes lap for two hours and flirted with him while the groom sat by himself at the head table with a defeated look on his face.” ⏤ Samhamwitch
This one actually might just be the most straight-up sad one of all the responses. I just feel bad for the groom in this one, it’s not so much a cringe-worthy story as just a well-that-sucks-worthy story.
Spraying All The Guests In The Face
“At the reception line, after the church wedding ceremony the bride had a large bottle of her favorite perfume and sprayed each guest with it – female and male, whether they wanted it or not – as they entered the banquet hall. Some guests complained that the smell of perfume was so strong that they lost their appetite and couldn’t partake of the banquet.” ⏤ Back2Bach
A few people asked why she would ever do this, and this person said that apparently, “The bride said she loved the fragrance and wanted ‘to share that love with everyone celebrating with her and her new husband’.” That’s pretty weird if you ask me.
Apples… Apples Everywhere!
“They bought an apple orchard after leaving the city to live a simpler life…and really doubled down on the apple theme. Apples everywhere: on the tables, in baskets all around the venue, on the podium where they got married, pictures of apples hanging everywhere, small fake trees with apples tossed under them, the dude marrying them had an apple tie on, apples somehow incorporated into every dish for the reception. The cake was shaped like an apple.
“It was really bizarre.” ⏤ Corporate-Asset-6375
Of all of the weird themes I’ve heard about, apples are the most weirdly specific one. Also, apparently the couple sold the orchard a year later as they didn’t know what they were doing.
The Priest Talking About His Sex Life
“Not the groom and bride’s fault. But the pastor marrying them, talked about his marriage and his kids for 20 minutes. He was obviously going for something of showing what marriage will be like. But he full up was talking about how his daughter, Kelsey, learned to walk this way, and his other daughter’s first words were this and that. And that he and his wife make love throughout the house because that’s what you do when in love, etc.
“Bride and groom had to stand there holding hands for 20 minutes right in front of him as the other 150 of us had to listen about his sex life and his kids.” ⏤ Manatee_Ape
I’m not sure that talking in rigorous detail about your sex life is in the pastor handbook… which I guess is just the bible now that I think about it?
The Most Vain Person Alive!
“When I was 11 my cousin got married for the 3rd time. I never really liked her because she was pretty full of herself. The wedding itself was fine, then we get to the reception. We were told we had to sit down as soon as we got there.
“The Bride and Groom then make a huge dramatic entrance and strutted around the room with actual crowns on their heads. The Bride then gets the microphone and hands it to her mom and asks her to say something she loves about the bride. She then tells her mom to pass it on and says she wants EVERYONE in the room to say one thing they absolutely love about the bride. Not the bride and groom, not their relationship, just the bride herself. It was super awkward.” ⏤ MiceRekei
A lot of people were desperate to know what this person said about their cousin, so they said, “I said ‘Your eyeshadow is pretty.’ Because I felt so awkward and wanted to die. My older brother said ‘Pass’ which made her force a fake laugh”.
Trying To One Up The Best Man
“My own wedding. My brother and our wedding band surprised us with a beautiful rendition of a very romantic song by a guy called Juan Luis Guerra, just so happened to be me and the missus’ favorite song ever. Lots of happy crying and one of the best memories of that day. Unfortunately, my MiL doesn’t like to be one-upped, so she impromptu got a distant 2nd cousin from her side of the family who we did not know to immediately sing ‘My heart will go on’ from Titanic.
“He was not a good singer and used a shitty youtube karaoke track and it leads to very awkward slow dancing, followed by fuming from her after we cut it short (terrible feedback from trying to play the track on the mic from phone’s speaker). Just completely deflated the beautiful moment from my brother’s singing”. ⏤ savershin
Also, at the end of the day, “My heart will go on” is a terrible song. Thankfully, this couple overcame this incident and are still together!
The Angry Bride’s Father
“Not the bride and groom but the bride’s father. I was the best man. They married young after she fell pregnant, it wasn’t planned, but they clearly loved each other and it was the right thing for them to do in their eyes (both Christian).
“Anyway, come the wedding day I’m sat next to the bride’s father at the reception and I can see he’s looking at his prepared speech repeatedly. I can see phrases like ‘not ideal’, ‘would’ve preferred not to welcome you into the family in these circumstances’, etc. Just before the groom gets up to give a speech, the bride’s father excuses himself to nip to the loo leaving his ‘speech’ behind. I’m not ashamed to say I swiped it and then pleaded ignorance when he returned. In the end, he stood up and muttered a few words about love and then sat down.” ⏤ St0rmStrider
Thankfully, this person said that they never told the groom and that they are still happily married.
The Creepiest Auction Of All Time!
“This was moreso the bride’s family… One of my first classmates to get married (we were ~19) had a small reception, mostly family and friends from high school (nothing wrong with that). They decided to ‘auction off’ the garter belt, and whoever won took it off the bride. Most of us were poor college students, so the only people bidding were her dad and uncles. It was super uncomfortable.” ⏤ IguanaTapThatAxolotl
I don’t know if they’re planning to take it off with their… in fact, you know what, I don’t need that image in my head.
Awkward First Dance Moves
“My cousin and his wife are SUPER religious and maybe the two most awkward people I’ve ever met. They did one of those ‘fake out’ first dances where it starts with a slow song then transitions to a dance number with an upbeat song.
“Not only is that naturally cringe worthy, the upbeat song was 5 minutes long and they just kept repeating the same moves over and over for what felt like eternity. There was no alcohol allowed at the wedding, so there was nothing to dull the pain.” ⏤ dirtybirds233
I genuinely don’t think that I could even go to a wedding with no alcohol. And, I know that says more about me than I’d like, but I don’t care, it’s true!
Food Fight!
“When I was at a wedding of my parent’s friends, the groom tried to throw a decently sized piece of cake at the bride who moved out of the way, the cake ended up hitting my 76-year-old grandma. We all had a good laugh. But we were all cringing at the same time at the missed cake attempt.” ⏤ airsoftrules1
It really sucks that their cake was made out of granite as well, the grandmother may never recover from it!
The Classic “Phone Call From God” Bit…
“Dated a girl in my 20s and went to her friend’s wedding in upstate New York. In the middle of the service the minister’s cell phone rang, he answered, it was God, God wanted to talk to the groom, the conversation lasted a couple of minutes, then the ceremony continued.” ⏤ Theseus44
I can just imagine him playing along before realizing that it was actually God on the phone… what a wedding that would have been!
Never On Time
“Bride shows up almost 2 hours late to her own wedding. Southern California in an open field no water no shade. She shows up and wants to get married in her yoga outfit. the groom shut it down and when she refused to change her clothes the groom decided to leave her looking stupid and they never got married.” ⏤ toxictribe
They went on to say that apparently the groom had also been suspicious that she had been cheating on him, so the yoga pants were just the last straw!
Having A Facebook Group Wedding
“Invite all their Facebook friends and expect 700 people and like less than 100 show up.” ⏤ Strangerdanger8812
Jesus, why would you ever think this is a good idea? From my experience of how many people who say “going” on a Facebook event actually turn up, they’re lucky 100 showed up! *Cries to self
911 What Is Your Emergency?
“Long ago I worked at a banquet hall and witnessed a fully NASCAR themed wedding. During the reception, they played the audio of the proposal going out over the PA at the track. It was fully unintelligible. BZZT GABBAGBGA MRRRY MEZZZZZ RROOOOOWWWVROOOM.
“Other highlights were the owner locking himself in his office to avoid the bride’s father because he was threatening him to haggle on the costs. In the end, we had to call the police because the bride in gown climbed over the bar to steal more sweet MGD after we had closed the taps and the event was over.” ⏤ -neverzen
If you have any cringe-worthy wedding stories that you feel able to share, then please do so in the comments below!
