10+ Funny Tweets That Sum Up Dad Life

There's a reason why dad jokes are famous. Only a dad could tell a cheesy joke that makes you simultaneously roll your eyes and laugh. If you're looking for a way to fill the dad joke void in your life, these tweets should do the trick.

Dad-1, Kids-0.

What's scarier than mom when everything goes south in the house? Absolutely nothing. Mom in a bad mood is scarier than any monster under the bed. Big win on dad's part.


Making fun of your own kids is something that never gets old for dads. Just trolling them being who they are—it is the joke that always gets a laugh.

That electric bill though.

Make sure to put a huge sign above the light switch that says "touch this and you don't get dessert tonight." Hopefully, the kids can read if they can reach the switch.

That's it, it's all over.

I'm gagging just reading this. Can you imagine? Kids can't wipe perfectly yet at five. Sure thing that dad has some poop on his cheek now. Yikes.


Nothing gets you out of bed faster than your kid saying that they want to use the oven. Or the stove. Or the microwave. Or anything in the kitchen at all.

Priorities, dad.

Watching their favorite TV show or movie? Easy. Eating mom's leftover spaghetti for the third night in a row? Nope, looks like it's laundry night again.

All kids are different!

Some may think they can see ghosts, but others can read the alphabet backward and do multiplication at age five. You know, all kids are different.

Let them try to use the computer without my permission.

Dads who talk smack have to make sure they are living up to their smack talk. Let them go on the computer without my permission and see a bad, bad gift.

White lies are sometimes ok.

Kids sometimes just need those white lies to come to life to that you can prove them wrong. Picky eaters are the worst, always tell them it's chicken.

Ryan Reynolds gets it.

We'd do anything for our kids. But, anything sometimes only means some things. Because, you know, our hair and all.

It just be like that sometimes.

Car seats should be easier to install if you ask me. Those things are not meant for anyone to do in a few minutes. It takes years. YEARS I SAY.

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