When it comes to having children, it’s no secret that everyone in your family has an opinion. No matter what you do, your entire family wants to put in their thoughts and advice — even when you don’t ask for it. Some parents stick their nose into our business even after we have children of our own. Actually, it’s more often after we have children.
When parents become grandparents, they have a lot of “needs.”
It’s the conversations right after you get married that go like, “When are you giving me grandchildren?!?” Or, the ones that go, “When are you having another baby?!?” The ones that make us feel absolutely awkward.
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One mom wrote into Reddit to vent about her mother-in-law recently.
She specifically said she wasn’t looking for advice and just wanted to vent. But, of course, Reddit users had a lot to say about her mother-in-law. Clearly, she’s the prime example of giving too much unwanted advice.
She started off by saying that they had a FaceTime date with her mother-in-law for her birthday.
While the entire family was there, her two daughters weren’t all that excited to see grandma on FaceTime. It happens — some kids are over talking to everyone on the phone after quarantine.
During their FaceTime call, her mother-in-law made a comment that just hit her the wrong way.
She wrote:
“Apparently everyone in the [expletive] world thinks I ‘need’ a boy because I have 2 girls.
I hear it all the time. Not just from MIL but my own family and friends and it drives me nuts.”
Much like any other woman, she is tired of hearing people’s opinions on her birthing patterns.
She also said her and her partner had discussed that they were “done having children.”
“I’m preparing to get my tubes tied because I don’t want any more children. Me and my partner have had the conversation he understands I can’t do it anymore (pregnancy sucks) and I’m happy with what we have.
I’ve told him if he really feels like he needs to have more kids (he’s never said that he has always said a boy) he is welcome to find someone else and I would understand,” the mom said in her post.
Her partner absolutely understands, but it seems like her mother-in-law still doesn’t.
She continued:
“It always irks me the wrong way when people say this… like having a girl isn’t good enough for you? She isn’t good enough because she doesn’t have a penis? My life won’t be complete if I don’t have a boy? I’m sorry but that’s absolute bullsh*t.”
Many Reddit users chimed in saying that the MIL sounded absolutely awful, but they’ve also been in the same boat.
One Reddit user said:
“My MIL did the same thing to me, at her daughter’s baby shower, which I hosted at my house, with mostly my friends because JNSIL didn’t have many of her own. I was at that time, and still am, the mother of two fabulous daughters.
MIL said she thought I needed to have one more baby, perhaps it would be a boy. I responded that her son didn’t want anymore children (I’d asked, he’d declined). Her next question was, ‘Why do you have to ask him?’ Meaning that I should trick DH into a third pregnancy.
My response put her immediately in her place:
‘Because HE is in charge of the birth control!'”
Others said that this kind of mentality sends the wrong message.
One user wrote:
“I worry about the message this sends to the girls — that they are somehow defective or not valuable. Its like “OK NEXT!” MIL is gonna miss out on the grands she HAS waiting for the grand she WISHES she had. If you and H are fine with it her opinion is neither wanted or asked for.”
All in all, it’s time we stop letting our families get in our heads about our own children.
Our bodies are our bodies and our families are our families. No matter who has an opinion, it’s time we rule them out and do what makes us happy.
