Proposing to someone is obviously an incredibly nerve-wracking experience. I mean, there's always the fear that they may say no, right?
Well, one person took to Reddit to find out some of the stories of people whose partner did say "no," by asking, "Men of Reddit who proposed and she said no, what happened afterwards with your life?"
What follows is a series of the best, funniest, and most heartbreaking answers on the thread!
"We were living together. I asked, she said 'No, I love you but I need to think about it. I don't think I'm ready yet. Can you give me some time and ask later?'. A few months go by, I ask again, same response. A few more months, same deal. A couple more weeks and then she says 'hey, what do you think of us getting married?'. I replied: 'That's an excellent idea, why didn't I think of that?'." ⏤grayputer
I, along with a lot of other people it seems, was ready for this one to end up being a lot more misery, so I was glad when they added, "Our 39th anniversary is next month."
"Dated a woman for over two years and popped the question. First time she said “I don’t know”. A couple months later I asked her again, she said 'Maybe.' I was pretty bent out of shape. But then I found out she was sleeping with several of my friends so I dodged a bullet there really." ⏤gardibolt
Sounds like you must have lost a few "friends" during this as well. I mean, if they can even be called as such.
"She said yes as I had a special occasion planned - one of those observation wheels and I proposed at the very top and we were [on] our way to a family event and I had a ring made and everything.
"Then a few days later she said no. Everything fell apart. I was distraught. We continued dating for a while but it was long distance - other side of the world. When I visited it would be super awkward. Eventually [her] dad kicked me out. Was flying standby and was stuck in an airport for 4 days. Took me years to recover." ⏤alocinapap
Thankfully, this person said that, looking back, they're better off without them as her family were apparently very controlling. They're now married to someone else.
"She had cancer. I said we should get married because I had full medical coverage from my work. She said no, and over time we grew apart. Haven't talked to her in 15 years, don't know if she died." ⏤axnu
This one is incredibly difficult. Many people suggested that she may have not wanted to feel indebted to him.
"My mom rejected my father the first TWO times, lol. There was no real hard feelings between them. I guess my mother was just not ready for marriage yet.
"She ended up proposing to him. My grandmother and mother sewed a suit for their dog to wear and attached a sign around his neck with a ring that read 'will you marry me?' Then she sent the dog out into the kitchen to beg for scraps while my father was preparing dinner. The next thing she heard was a very concerned voice shouting: 'HONEY! The dog is asking me to marry him!'."
"Cue absolute hysterics." ⏤Tempest_Skies
The father did say yes! To his wife that is...not the dog!
"I asked her right out of high school, but she wasn't ready. We stayed together, went to college at the same school, spent the first year in separate dorms, then moved in together. Got married a few years later. Our 20th is coming up." ⏤literalfeces
In responses to questions as to whether they thought that the extra time helped, they wrote, "The initial stress of cohabiting probably would have been worse with the pressure of being married. Might have still made it, but it would have been harder."
"We lived together for another six years until she changed her mind and told me that I should ask again. We were engaged for over a year and got married in 1991. We are still married, have three children, and are both still very much in love." ⏤h2f
Sometimes it just isn't the right time, and there's nothing you can really do about that. However, if you both truly love one another, then it may happen in time.
"It was REALLY REALLY bad for a while. Then it was REALLY bad. Then it became really bad. Then it became bad. Then it was just blah. Then it was neutral. Then things started to get better. They continued to get better by me learning to be happy and me doing me things. I eventually found someone else, and things have been getting better for twenty years now." ⏤spamgolem
Someone asked how long it took for them to get back to normal, and this person wrote back, "A little over a year for me. A serious relationship ending takes time to grieve. There's no set time for how long it takes, and the length of time spent grieving does not correlate to how much you loved that person."
"I was a young Marine. I was only home during the weekends. was dating this girl for about a year from my home town. When I asked she said yes. Her dad former Navy kept saying we should wait. We put it off for a bit longer.
"Fast forward another year. she dumped me. Father informs me she has been sleeping with A LOT of guys... like more then 50 over the 2 yrs we dated. And was very happy i didn't marry her. and apologizes to me for her behavior.
"She then totally ghosting everyone including her family for about 6 months. Find out she moved 7 hrs away and was living under a house. Not a basement, under a house with her new bf. She calls her mom to come get her. Mother and father ask me to go get her and bring her home." ⏤Nemrodh
When asked if he did go and get her, this person wrote, "yep i was not a smart man."
"My dad proposed to a woman who said no. My dad was a violent alcoholic and she said she couldn’t be with him unless he got clean. Took him a little while, but he did it. He wound up meeting my mom through a match maker and they’ve been married 25 years.
"If that woman never said no to him, he never would have gotten clean. It was the lowest point in his life. But it all brought him to my mom who makes him happier than ever." ⏤calculust_
It is amazing that this man managed to turn such a negative experience into a positive one. They also went on to say that their father still sometimes talks to the woman who rejected him, and that they are on good terms.
"My mother turned my father down, but didn't outright break up with him. She just wasn't sure about the marriage idea; she valued her independence and was nervous about commitment.
"No hard feelings, though. He called up the next day when she'd had more time to think about it, and she said yes after all." ⏤thefuzzybunny1
This is a much more pleasant way around than saying yes, then no! This person's parents have now been married for 32 years.
"I spoke to her about it beforehand, and she seemed really Keen on the idea. So I decided to propose about a week after in front of all our friends she was so shocked she picked me up off my knee and shoed me away. Most of our friends were confused, because everyone knew it was going to happen, and she said she was excited for it.
"I didn't know what to do, it was all really embarrassing and later she explained she didn't mean no she just didn't know what to say and was scared.
"She said yes after apologizing profusely and just this year we celebrated our 9th anniversary." ⏤GeerieGeraln
Oh, God, I cannot imagine how uncomfortable this must have been when she initially said no. I know that it had a happy ending and everything, but I still struggle to read it.
"My mom told my dad no when he proposed to her even though they were already living together. She thought he was [infertile] and it wasn't until she got pregnant that she said yes.
"In retrospect, I wish my parents had decided early in their relationship that they can barely stand each other." ⏤Hartacus1
Just having a kid is not a recipe for a happy marriage. It is important to actually, y'know, like the other person in the marriage a bit at least.
"My husband asked 3 times in the span of a couple of months. We had dated for 3 years. He was ready, I wanted to graduate college first.
"Also: don't 'propose' by handing your SO a ring while you're both in the car on the way to Burger King. I'm low maintenance, but put some thought into it." ⏤Exploding_Muffin
Okay, so this one might not be explicitly about the rejection, however, I just loved the image of someone proposing in the Burger King drive-thru and their girlfriend going, "Seriously?! Come on, man!"
"My friend A had been with his girlfriend B for years, so he decided he wanted to propose. What he didn't know, is that B was also thinking about proposing to him. A proposed first, and B freaked out because she had already set her proposal and bought a ring, so she said no. Over the next week, B freaked out more and more, and refused to answer A's calls and messages.
"A bought a plane ticket to Europe. What was supposed to be a 3 month trip through western Europe turned out to be a year long trip around the world.
"One day, A says that he's coming back and B decides to go and wait for him at the airport and propose there. Except, while in Peru, A met a girl and they fell in love almost immediately, and got married. Cue 5 years later, A and his Peruvian wife are still happily married and recently had a baby, while B hasn't still quite forgiven herself for ruining her relationship with A." ⏤ThePeasantKingM
"My mother told my father no three times. On the third time he got wasted at a local bar and basically started pouring his heart out to any one who’d listen. Mind you, it’s a very small village in the Italian alps and my father barely spoke Italian and no one in the village spoke English, including my mother. Word got back to my mom about this sad American at the bar so she went to find him and she told him she’d marry him.
"My parents celebrated their 44th-anniversary last month." ⏤PazzaCiccio
I didn't realize that Richard Curtis was now directing some people's real lives as well as movies?
"She said yes on the second proposal and now we're divorced." ⏤JEJoll
This person went on to say that they have been single for a year and things are finally starting to look up for them!
"We'd been dating for a year and a half, and I was due to move out on orders (was in the Army). She suggests we get married, I said no. I was going off to school (Army-type) for six months, then a year on a deployment to the Middle East, it just wouldn't work. She was calm, and then said 'You think I'll be a burden to all of that, but I'll actually be a help'. While just seconds earlier all I could think of was what a pain in the ass it would be to get married and leave, and now it (for whatever reason) seemed perfectly reasonable that she was right. We got married a week later at the courthouse. I was 22.
"Last month we had a nice socially-distant dinner party for our 29th anniversary with our two amazing kids and a few friends." ⏤Cle4nr
I guess she was right... She really must have been a great help!
"I was the person who said no.
"We had only known each other for 3 months and he was smitten, I was more cautious. I said no, I like you but it's way too soon. He asked when would be enough time, I said maybe a year.
"He proposed again at midnight, one year after we first met, I said yes and we have been together 8 years now." ⏤kje199
"She had said she wasn't really a fan of marriage, so I thought proposing non-marriage might be well received, and I wanted us to be together for the rest of our lives. So I asked her not to marry me.
"She said no. We have been married for 10 years." ⏤Incognito_Matt
Do you have an interesting or funny story about your experience with proposing or being proposed to? Let me know in the comments below!
