Hilarious Tweets About Tequila To Read Before Taking Your Next Shot

Hello, darkness, my old friend...

So, tequila. The true devil's advocate of drinks. It has a love/hate relationship with anyone who drinks it, let's be real. These tweets will perfectly outline just how true that statement is.

With all due respect to my therapist...

Actually, jk. I tried that once and barfed. Now I do what everyone else does: add stuff to my online shopping cart, then click away without checking out.

This is totally a cocktail.

And also a lifehack. Those electrolytes will help with your hangover, right? Or does all the sugar cancel that out? Let me know.

It truly creates social butterflies.

Are you an introvert? Have a hard time starting conversations? Tequila will take care of that. It's the ultimate equalizer. Just make sure not to say anything too weird, okay?

Well, it'll take you somewhere...

At that somewhere is Margaritaville. If you did not see this joke coming, my condolences. If you did, UP TOP.

Short and to the point.

Sometimes, you don't need all 280 characters to get your point across. Sometimes, it really is this simple.

That checks out.

It's just gonna be there for you, no matter what. And it's totally cool if you wanna hang out in your sweatpants, hair tie, chillin' with no makeup on... wait, sorry, that's Drake.


It's 2020 and I hope Moose had a good 5th birthday. I hope he had a nice day in quarantine getting belly rubs, doing shots, and eating a puppy birthday cake.

This tweet is so misleading.

It starts off as a nice tweet about the beautiful scenery in the picture, then just goes off the rails. There's something about this that is so damn funny to me.

This girl is a genius.

Yes, queen. Know your worth, know what you want, and what you deserve. I have no choice but to stan a woman that smart. I hope she finds someone worthy of her.

Please practice responsibly.

Not the drinking, the cartwheels. Actually, also the drinking. For the love of god, drink responsibly, get a designated driver, and make sure you barf somewhere comfortable for your knees.

This is correct.

I mean... it is derived from agave, right? That's a plant. Most plants are vegetables. Tequila is a vegetable. Thus tequila is just alcoholic V8 juice.

The Illuminati can and will arrest us for this kind of galaxy brain thinking.

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