It’s no secret that the Kardashian-Jenners are the most famous family in entertainment history. But just because the Kar-Jens are celebrity royalty doesn’t mean they get to do whatever they want, whenever they want. Believe it or not, even Kim Kardashian has to live by certain rules.
So, I’m going to run through some of those rules and see how many I could stand to follow.
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No smiling at the paparazzi
If you look back at paparazzi photos taken of Kim Kardashian in 2005, you’ll see nothing but smiles.
Her best friend, Jonathan Cheban, advised against that.
“[He said] ‘Do you think everyone else has smiles on their faces? You are too happy, you are smiling way too much,'” explained Kim.
Kourtney’s house, Kourtney’s rules
A few of Kourtney Kardashian’s in-house rules include no diet soda, no microwaves, and absolutely no plastic containers.
Both guests and family must abide.
No talking about money
For Kim, anyway.
When asked how much her mobile app rakes in at the Code Mobile conference in Half Moon Bay, California, Kim Kardashian responded, “We’ll never talk dollars and cents.”
No bikinis for Penelope
Scott Disick believes that bikinis don’t belong on little girls.
Kourtney told E! News that, while Scott doesn’t typically have an opinion on their kids’ clothing, but there is a no-bikini rule for Penelope.
Manicures are mandatory
According to Kendall Jenner, when she was younger, her mother “would have a nail artist come to the house once a week and she would make us get our nails done.”
“She was like, ‘You are never going to look like you’re not put together.’ So we were always getting them done,” added Kendall.
Nannies must be available at all times
They’re on-call 24/7.
To even land a job as a Kardashian-Jenner nanny, you must audition and gain approval, like on a TV show.
After that, your life becomes all Kardashian, all the time.
Don’t talk to the paparazzi
In the past, Kim admitted, “Every time I’d go to the gym or go eat, every paparazzi would ask me questions and I would be like, ‘Hey guys!’ Like, I so wanted the attention.”
Her best friend, Jonathan Cheban, broke her of that habit.
Kris demands everyone be camera-ready
“My mom literally forces us to be picture-perfect. She’s been forcing Garcinia pills down Khloé’s throat for the last year,” explained Rob.
For those who don’t know, Garcinia pills are a popular weight-loss supplement.
I fully do not blame Rob for not wanting to be in the spotlight, tbh. That sounds horrific.
No one is allowed to use the word “fat” in front of Penelope
In one episode of KUWTK, Kris Jenner asked Kourtney if she “looked fat.”
Kourtney snapped, “Don’t use that word in front of my daughter, please.”
I’m taking this to mean that she wants to raise Penelope free of any body stigmas, which is cool.
Kanye makes the final decision on Kim’s wardrobe
When asked whether Kanye e-mails her with daily fashion tips, Kim said, “Absolutely, he does.”
“Kanye sent me an email to not wear huge sunglasses anymore,” explained Kim.
I’m torn between thinking this is weird, and also thinking that he was right about big sunglasses. They’re out these days.
You must sign an NDA if you’re dating a Kardashian
At least, we know this for certain in the case of Rob Kardashian and Blac Chyna.
That’s because Kim actually shared a copy of the NDA that Blac Chyna allegedly signed before dating Rob.
Kris must get paid
That’s right — on business endeavors where Kris acts as one of her daughter’s managers, she charges a 10% commission fee.
That’s fair. Working for free is not the tea, and Kris has that giant house to upkeep. I guess!
Khloé does not allow pork in her house
On her app, Khloé wrote, “I don’t think I have ever had pork in my home nor would I.”
Khloé explained a time when she almost ate pork unknowingly: when someone else picked up her groceries, they accidentally bought pork pepperoni, instead of her usual turkey.
Kim is not allowed to talk to her bodyguards
In fact, one of Kanye and Kim’s former bodyguards claimed that he was fired from his job for exchanging a few words with Kim.
True cannot watch KUWTK
According to Khloé, her daughter won’t be allowed to watch the show until she’s at least 13 years old.
Caitlyn was not allowed to wear women’s clothing
“The rules, kind of, for Kris and I [were] don’t dress up, certainly around the house,” explained Caitlyn.
“I’d go on the road for speaking engagements, take a bunch of stuff, dress up at the hotel, walk around, do whatever I wanted to do, just to feel a little bit better about myself,” she said.
“And I kind of dealt with it that way.”
Kim’s kids can only play in one room
On her blog, Kim began, “Our home decor taste tends to be minimal and modern but the kids’ playroom is the one room in the house where I let them run wild.”
That makes sense — kids are tiny tornadoes, so keeping that to one room probably saves Kim’s sanity.
Kris is not to be called “Grandma”
“At first I was ‘Grandma,’” said Kris in 2013, who now has a total of nine grandchildren. “All of a sudden I didn’t like the way that sounded,” explained the momager.
Instead, she had the kids call her “lovey.”
I’m pretty sure she’s changed her mind since then.
Kourtney’s kids only eat gluten and dairy-free
In her blog, Kourtney wrote, “I have noticed a great positive change in behavior with my children when we stick to a gluten- and dairy-free diet.”
Don’t growing children kind of need those things, if they’re not celiacs or lactose intolerant?
Kim has a weather preference for being photographed at the beach
This one’s less of a strict rule and more of a guideline Kim likes to follow.
“It’s a trick of the light,” said Kim.
“There are paparazzi everywhere, that’s a fact, so if I go out in bright sunlight all my cellulite will be lit up and visible.”
No phones at the dinner table
For Kim and Kanye, at least!
“Kanye didn’t have a phone for four years,” explained Kim. “Especially when we first started dating it was rude to bring our phones with us out, so I learned from him to not really bring my phone.”
All the Kardashian-Jenners have to honest about their Instagram ads
In 2016, Truth in Advertising (TINA.org), a consumer advocate group, took aim at the Kardashians, insisting they make their online marketing tactics more transparent.
These days, you won’t find a Kar-Jen Instagram promotion without the hashtag “#ad” in the caption.
Seems they’ve found a way around this, judging by the use of the word “partner.”
North doesn’t wear pink
Speaking to The Sunday Times , Kim said, “North doesn’t typically wear pink. She wears mauve or blush, not, like, typical baby pink.”
I’m 99% sure I’ve seen North in pink before, so what’s the truth?
Khloé has to be stocked up with water all the time
On her app, Khloé suggested that her fans keep water, “in your bedside table, your car, purse, gym bag … next to the toilet, lol! NEVER be without H2O.”
She added, “This not only keeps you mega hydrated but will make you feel full throughout the day.”
