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    Here’s The Perfect Hack For You To Make Chocolate Croissants With An Air Fryer

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13+ Products That Flat Out Shouldn’t Exist

by Paddy Clarke
5 years ago
in Humor
Reading Time: 10 mins read
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There are a lot of things in the world that shouldn’t exist, such as low-fat hot chocolate and the music of Santana.

In addition to those two bafflingly awful things, here are 13+ weird products that flat-out shouldn’t exist.

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One person added, “In Germany every [butcher’s] place has these. As a kid, I always got a free slice,” and I can’t think of anything that would have terrified me more as a child than a meat clown.

“Undies for two…”

Image credit: Reddit | HelloThereWeirdo
Reddit | HelloThereWeirdo

Have you ever wished that you and your partner could share a pair of underwear for no real reason?… No? Well, good news, then: You’re not insane!

“A phone that’s also a fidget spinner.”

Image credit: Reddit | ddaannkk123
Reddit | ddaannkk123

I looked into these fleetingly and you can get one of these bad boys for about $65 on eBay. I wouldn’t recommend it though.

“Asparagus flavored ice cream…”

Image credit: Reddit | mekanikstik
Reddit | mekanikstik

I love asparagus, so I’d actually be quite tempted to try this. Although I don’t know if ice-cold asparagus would be that palatable.

“Stick on gems for your arse cheeks.”

Image credit: Reddit | Big_Miss_Steak_
Reddit | Big_Miss_Steak_

Ah yes, I cannot count the amount of times that I have wanted it to be wildly uncomfortable whenever I sit down.

Viagra Ice-Cream!

Image credit: Reddit |Dire
Reddit |Dire

And you thought that asparagus ice cream was strange! Well, I see that and raise you Viagra ice cream…a sentence I never thought I’d say.

“The Best Book For Kids!”

Image credit: Reddit | Triggercut72
Reddit | Triggercut72

I will absolutely be buying this for my kid if I ever have one just to mess with their head.

“Soda that tastes like salad dressing.”

Image credit: Reddit | iBinbar
Reddit | iBinbar

Okay, the idea of this one nearly made me knock it so I think that I’m gonna have to move on swiftly.

“Gender reveals are getting out of hand…”

Image credit: Reddit | ajcapes
Reddit | ajcapes

What kind of sicko is buying these? Just tell people you’re having a baby boy. Don’t make it all weird and creepy!

“A kid at my school had these shoes…”

Image credit: Reddit | GrimWolf_Gamer
Reddit | GrimWolf_Gamer

Now, I actually own a pair of these against all the odds. I won them in a pub quiz — and I can assure you that they are horrifically uncomfortable.

“This screen protector has glitter infused in it.”

Image credit: Reddit | AlphaAxle
Reddit | AlphaAxle

For all of the people out there who love thinking that they have a dirty screen! Good God, this would drive me insane.

“This Fidget Spinner Magazine.”

Image credit: Reddit | MiltonHolmes
Reddit | MiltonHolmes

I bet that this was one hell of a short-lived publication! Those damn things were everywhere one minute, then gone the next!

“Sneaker raincoats.”

Image credit: Reddit | Nocte_Mortis
Reddit | Nocte_Mortis

They’re shoes… They’re meant to get wet. If they’re that valuable to you, then don’t wear them!

“Fake hipster stump for $79!”

Image credit: Reddit | diarrheaticavenger
Reddit | diarrheaticavenger

“It’s…it’s just a stump, Dave?”

“No, Allan, it’s an expensive stump!”

“How to waste paper!”

Image credit: Reddit | SvSlazer18
Reddit | SvSlazer18

I love the little “Unofficial and Unauthorized” addition at the bottom. I wonder why this isn’t official YouTube merchandise as it’s such a stellar product?!

“My pregnant, ramen loving girlfriend found (and bought) these today.”

Image credit: Reddit | TwentyCharacterMaxim
Reddit | TwentyCharacterMaxim

I wonder why they were only out for a limited time only? I’m sure the general public would have loved them!

(I’ve got to be honest though, I am really curious to try these now!)

“Walmart has some terrifying products. Nana wasn’t too happy about it.”

Image credit: Reddit | thejesskat
Reddit | thejesskat

The obviously adorable grandmother aside, who is the person out there who cannot be bothered to simply chop up a banana?!

“A Rubik’s Cube that doubles as a treasure chest. It only opens when solved.”

Image credit: Reddit | Mattp11111
Reddit | Mattp11111

In fairness, the only reason why I hate this is because I have never been able to complete one of these and I know that I would lose my valued possessions forever inside of it.

“Monopoly ‘Cash Grab’ gun.”

Image credit: Reddit | Monopoly ‘Cash Grab’ gun
Reddit | Monopoly ‘Cash Grab’ gun

Yes, teach your kids to desperately crawl around on the floor clutching to the most important thing on the planet: money. That will give them value.

Shudders

“Face-hugger face mask.”

Image credit: Reddit | skystonemeteorites
Reddit | skystonemeteorites

This has obviously required a lot of time and effort to build, but I just have one question… Why?

“A 24-hour clock…”

Image credit: Reddit | VDT635
Reddit | VDT635

If you need a clock like this to tell you whether it is day or night, then you have more pressing issues, my friend.

“A tube to prevent phone distractions during conversation.”

Image credit: Reddit | nickelmoose
Reddit | nickelmoose

If people are so addicted to their phones that they need to enter a carnival-esque nightmare tube just to talk to another human being properly, then something has gone wrong on this planet.

“I have never wanted anything more in my life…”

Image credit: Reddit | [Deleted]
Reddit | [Deleted]

Look, I’m not saying that it isn’t fantastic… I’m just saying that this thing shouldn’t exist! It has no meaning!

“These glasses my sister bought.”

Image credit: Reddit | WalmartFlipFlop
Reddit | WalmartFlipFlop

Can’t decide on what style of glasses you want? Well, why just settle on one style when you can wear two at once?!

“What the…”

Image credit: Reddit | Y0inkMeister
Reddit | Y0inkMeister

Thank God that you only get the mold. I really don’t want to think of what else you could get with this if I’m honest…

Maybe She’s Born With It, Maybe It’s Garlic!

Image credit: Reddit | JustAcceptIt-V1
Reddit | JustAcceptIt-V1

I guess that you won’t have any problems with vampires with this horrific shampoo clinging to your scalp.

“EarEarrings?”

Image credit: Reddit | BanAllPineapples
Reddit | BanAllPineapples

They should have little piercings in them as well so that you can hang your other piercings off these tiny little ears.

“Omelette anyone?”

Image credit: Reddit
Reddit

I know that this is obviously a gag but the very idea of this being a thing is too annoying to me to get past!

“This floating mug – to eliminate coasters.”

Image credit: Reddit | Panda_911
Reddit | Panda_911

Introducing the world’s most shatter-able mug, with a handle that looks like it could snap at any second.

“5 pieces of a centaur that go on your fingers to make one full centaur for minutes of fun!”

Image credit: Reddit | MappleLeafs0117
Reddit | MappleLeafs0117

Not just minutes of fun, minutes of unsettling, horrific fun, followed swiftly by a strange sort of shame.

“Spotify’s has lyrics to Sandstorm. In case you forgot them.”

Image credit: Reddit | RubySpice
Reddit | RubySpice

I always thought of ‘Sandstorm’ being more of a ‘du’ or ‘do’ sound, but ‘da’ works too I guess.

“A punchable enter key.”

Image credit: Reddit | grino665
Reddit | grino665

Work is stressful sometimes. This way you can take out your anger and make sure everyone in your office hears it too.

“Crocs with built-in socks.”

Image credit: Reddit | Jettatora
Reddit | Jettatora

I see these as a one-time wear type of shoe as I can’t imagine washing it is easy or worth it.

“These insult teacups.”

Image credit: Reddit | singeroil
Reddit | singeroil

Start your day with a very fancy, very angry cup of tea.

“A Rubik’s cube that can never be wrong.”

Image credit: Reddit | iAwesome404
Reddit | iAwesome404

This is the kind of certainty I need in my life. Having no fear of being wrong instantly soothes my brain.

“A pure white puzzle.”

Image credit: Reddit | xlicer
Reddit | xlicer

Unlike the last product, this one sets off a million stress alarms in my head. Only a true masochist would buy and build this.

“Isopod phone case.”

Image credit: Reddit | Misskurumayu
Reddit | Misskurumayu

I’m one of those freaks who thinks isopods are cute so I’m really into this. Gigantic and clunky, sure but your phone definitely won’t break!

“Portland Airport sells socks and other merchandise to match it’s carpet.”

Image credit: Reddit | ShadoXX9191
Reddit | ShadoXX9191

Just in case you’re a huge fan of the Portland airport, specifically. Does every airport have merch? Who’s the market for that?

“You can now literally buy nothing.”

Image credit: Reddit | Vonberns
Reddit | Vonberns

The perfect way to be a smartass to someone on their birthday, or a designated holiday, whatever the case may be. I’m sure it’ll go over well.

“Anti-theft lunch bags, wonder if they work?”

Image credit: Reddit | Daddy__Warbucks__
Reddit | Daddy__Warbucks__

If you live or work somewhere where you need an anti-theft device on your food, just get a lunch bag and a padlock.

“Hello Kitty Pinot Noir.”

Image credit: Reddit | shitForBrains1776
Reddit | shitForBrains1776

I was gonna make a joke about how I’m sure this is totally official and backed by Sanrio, but…it is. It really is. I’ll take three bottles, please.

“Minimalist Uno.”

Image credit: Reddit | Lydz_the_cat
Reddit | Lydz_the_cat

Play the world’s most beloved family card game but in a fancy, artistic way instead. Feel your superiority complex grow with each card drawn.

“Just add coffee.”

Image credit: Reddit | [Deleted]
Reddit | [Deleted]

“So, it’s ice then?”

“Yes, but you can add coffee to make it into an iced coffee!”

“Can I not do that with regular ice?”

“Stop asking questions and buy our ice!”

“Round dice.”

Image credit: Reddit | la_ovejaa
Reddit | la_ovejaa

I’m sure there’s a purpose for this, there has to be, but I just can’t figure it out. It scares me.

“Really?!?!?”

Image credit: Reddit | JBuggles35
Reddit | JBuggles35

Aside from the obvious fact that they are just awful, wouldn’t the long hair get on your nerves tickling your legs all day?

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