Funny Wine Quotes For People Already On Their Second Glass

It's really important to be honest about how you're knocking your wine back — your dishwasher needs to know. Just give it a break and keep those glasses in the cupboard, okay?

Imagine kicking back after a long day with a bubble bath, a glass or four of wine, and some solid conversation with your cat. Cats would be huge gossips, you know?

Hmm... has notes of... alcohol... and do I detect grapes?

Listen, we can't all be fancy wine drinkers (sorry, sommeliers). Sometimes it's just enough to know the difference between a Chardonnay and a Pinot Grigio.

Every friend group needs a clown, right? Right, guys?

Anyway. If you haven't gone for screw top wine, Count Corkula could be in your future. Who knows what you'll get up to after that second glass?

That kid is going to have good Christmases for the rest of his life.

Can we institute a new tradition that any and all grown-up juices on holidays are wine?

Hey, we're all goin' through some stuff right now. It's a weird world out there. Maybe two bottles of wine is the new one bottle of wine. Maybe sweatpants are the new work pants. That's just how it is right now.

The guilt of leaving a little bit of something at the end of a container is too real to just ignore. And that's how I justify drinking milk straight from the jug.

This is just a really important tweet. My favorite chicken is seasoned to hell and paired with a carb, but chicken à la Robin works, too.

The world needs thinkers like her.

All moms should get a lifetime supply of wine glasses and an unlimited, untapped flow of wine that is pumped directly to their house. If it comes out of the water dispenser in a fridge, so be it.