Being a parent is like getting on a roller coaster and having no idea when it will end. It has its ups and downs, twists and turns, and sometimes more surprises than you were ready for.
There’s no one way to describe what it’s like to be a parent or what a typical day with kids is like, but luckily you don’t have to try to explain it one way. Here are 25 parents who have done that for you in perfect, bite-sized tweets.
1. They’re pretty observant.
Well…you’re not wrong.
2. They put down their true feelings.
I wish adults could write poems as honest as this.
3. They make so much sense.
I never thought about it like that!
4. Fanny pack–induced concern.
Me too, to be honest.
5. Shadows are pretty freaky if you think about it.
They see everything.
6. Priorities
He knows how to find his mouth but he’s too busy watching the TV to aim properly!
7. Might sound crazy
But works every time.
8. Uh oh…
I think I might have let the love of my life slip away.
9. Children are basically cats.
Think about it. Don’t want to eat the food you give them, sleep all day, and will make anything a toy.
10. Just in case you forgot.
And needed to know while on the toilet.
11. Kids ask the craziest questions.
But ones I would actually like to know the answer to.
12. You stole her cheese…
…and you DIDN’T expect her to be traumatized by it?
13. How do you even know what hair tastes like?
Never mind. I don’t want to know.
14. You act like this is only a child’s thought process.
I wish I had the option of 6 or 100 more of anything.
15. At least they know what they mean.
‘Cause most of the time I don’t.
16. You have to give them credit.
It’s better that they asked late rather than never.
17. Children are so innovative.
But sometimes they should try less.
18. Say goodbye to sleep.
What’s sleep?
19. Joke’s on you!
Mommy has dreamed about this moment.
20. Pretty much the same thing.
Especially when they start speaking in tongues.
21. Just keep smiling.
Even if no one is having fun.
22. It affects the taste.
Who in their right mind would eat squares anyway?
23. A better meal than I could ever make.
I am impressed and jealous that I didn’t think of it first.
24. Babies teach you how to do new things every day.
But you will forget what it’s like to have a hot meal.
25. Ma’am, is this your child?
My what?
26. I just want to know what kind of monster would do this?
I shudder to think about the person who was unsuspectingly reaching for a bagel, only to find this surprise waiting in the bag.
27. Kids aren’t the best when it comes to planning.
There’s nothing worse than having to run out to the store the day before an assignment is due, even though your child had all month to work on it.
28. They learn young.
It really doesn’t take long for kids to clue into the good things in life, and they aren’t afraid to tell you what they want, either.
29. Funny how that happens, isn’t it?
I swear, kids will do or say anything to avoid a diaper change. It doesn’t have to be this way, kids! Help us help you.
30. The answer is always “nothing.”
The funny thing is, sometimes as parents we really don’t want to investigate beyond this initial question. So, as long as it seems like everyone is alive, we’ll take “nothing” as an appropriate response.
31. The magic of independence.
Yes, teaching your children independence is a wonderful thing, especially when it comes to teaching them how to wipe their own butts.
32. Asking the important questions.
But, I really need to know, can carrots be ghosts? Now I’m intrigued.
33. You call it a breakdown, I call it a vacation.
I highly encourage every mom to lock themselves in their room one day a year with nothing but Netflix and ice cream, and let your partner take care of the kids. Trust me, it’s worth it.
34. It’s like the Bat-Signal.
As soon as you take a seat on that toilet, suddenly your kids are hungry, and thirsty, and have a million questions that absolutely cannot wait until you finish peeing. Why does it happen every single time?
35. You never know where parenting will take you next.
I have said things to my kid that I never pictured saying to anyone in my life, ever. You can never predict how things are going to go.
