13+ Tweets To Read Alone Because We’re Practicing Social Distancing

I'm sure that there are people out there who would like their neighbor singing to them, but I have heard my neighbor singing from time to time, and no one wants to hear that.

Yeah, I really dropped the ball on this one. Well, thank God I love beans on toast because that's gonna be breakfast, lunch, and dinner from now on!

Well, they're not wrong. But hey, at least you could see some glassblowing or take your teeth out on a toffee apple as you suffer.

Look, all I'm saying is I'm not sure everyone who flocked to the grocery stores the second they heard coronavirus is now a pandemic really thought that through first.

Hey! Living a wild life is what you make of it! If I want to call watching bake-off and eating fish finger sandwiches a wild life then I will, and I would like to do so without any judgment.

Ah, the summer of 2016 seems like such an idyllic time looking back. In fact, four months ago looks like an idyllic time now!

I like to move from one couch to the other couch, just to shake things up a bit and to try to convince myself I've done anything productive today.

This is why background checks are important! Also, that guy is pretty ballsy to just own that fact like that, I mean, it's not like he's admitting to something asinine like liking The 1975.

This is actually quite adorable! Also, I like his logical thinking!

I think that this is definitely genius, it is an ear-worm after all! Just so long as you don't lapse into the original by accident.

I'm about to become the kind of chef you see on an episode of Chopped because you'll be amazed what I can throw together with just a few random ingredients.

Also, how many movies do you have to have made in the last decade to be tested for the coronavirus right away?

(Kidding. Sort of.)

Due to the fact that penguins are my favourite animals, this information makes me incredibly happy! Look at its little curious face!

It truly is a mystery. Why would you work on those things when you can just drink a bottle of wine and forget about it.

I used to try wandering around my apartment to get my daily steps in but now I just leave my watch in a drawer because desperate times call for desperate measures, and I don't need that thing telling me how little I've moved today.

I am well aware.

It's so nice you guys can stand outside and sing together but my four story walk-up doesn't exactly offer the same luxury.

I opened a window this morning and it got stuck.

I don't understand why people do this anyway, it's frankly a disgusting habit regardless of whether there is a pandemic or not!

There is nothing quite like telling Americans that they can't do something to make them want to do it.

I remember watching these films and being terrified of them as a kid, and now as an adult I'm just terrified of real life.

Remember when everyone was so excited for it to finally be the 2020s? Remember on New Year's where we rang in the new decade with stars in our eyes and hope in our hearts?

Remember???

"You think you're going to Costco today? Really? Well I don't think so, mister. Back to your room."

Now this is absolutely savage! I can't think of a better way to get back at your ex than this!

This is the most millennial thing that I have read on the internet for a long time! How are people not aware of radio?

So who's going to be the one to break the news to Mr. O'Brien here?

Always buy more than you need when it comes to crackers of any variety! One thing you don't want to be at times like these is without snacks.

There is nothing like going into a lecture and seeing a professor read out a slide show presentation that is available online verbatim. Some professors make their lectures interesting and useful, but there are some who are putting in the bare minimum!

That's how you pick up the ladies nowadays.

And the fellas.

And anyone else who didn't get to the grocery store on time.

I am ashamed to say that I have considered this many times... and I can feel my resolve weakening with every passing day of isolation!

I know, it is almost like companies could have been doing all of these things a lot sooner but didn't want to as they don't value their workers?

Cheryl must also be the one who ate all the quarantine food three days into self-isolation.

Dammit Cheryl!

I feel like now is a totally socially acceptable time to ghost people. No one's going on dates anyway. Might as well just drop that extra weight while you still have an excuse.

Shredded cheese and caffeine are the sustenance of the Gods. Uni students everywhere never realized that they had actually been training for these times their whole educational lives!