Inventors are amazing. These are the people who see a problem, come up with a creative solution, and actually figure out a way to create a product that gets the job done. It always amazes me when I see genius products that make me think “why didn’t I think of that?!”
That being said, there are other inventors who seem to be creating more problems than they solve. These are the inventions and products that make us question why the heck they exist in the first place!
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Today, we’re going to look at some things from both groups that will blow your mind.
1. Storm-proof umbrellas.
One of the problems with normal umbrellas is that as soon as you get a gust of wind, those suckers turn inside out. Senz designed an aerodynamic umbrella that will hold its shape even in the middle of a storm. Genius!
2. Solar powered tents.
The Eddie Bauer/Goal Zero collab allows you to camp literally anywhere and still have access to your electronics. You can listen to music, take pictures, and keep your phone charged for emergencies. The wiring inside the Katatatic tent can charge Goal Zero’s tiny Sherpa 50 battery pack or gigantic Yeti Solar Generator .
3. Pop-up bike racks.
Any city that encourages bike riding will have bike racks set up on the sidewalk. The problem is that they’re stuck there even when no one’s using them, and that reduces the space available for foot traffic. To combat this problem, pop-up bike racks were invented. They’re built right into the sidewalk and disappear when not in use.
4. Water filtering straws.
LifeStraw by Vestgaard is an individual water-filtering straw that will filter enough water for one person for a year before needing to be replaced. They were created as a life-saving tool for the hundreds of millions of people worldwide who don’t have access to safe drinking water. They’re also sold to consumers for outdoor recreation.
5. Permanently dry park benches
If you’ve ever been out walking after it rained and wanted to sit and rest, you’ll understand why this rotating park bench is genius! South Korean designer Sung Woo Park created a bench where the wooden slats rotate on a belt, allowing you to move the dry part to the top after it rains. Brilliant!
6. Food freshness detectors.
The FOODsniffer is a wireless device that works with your smart phone to measure the freshness of raw meat, poultry, and fish. It measures gas levels in the raw food, instantly telling you whether it’s safe to cook and eat.
7. Portable night-lights for trips to the bathroom.
Never stub your toe on your way to the bathroom again! The BoonGlo Nightlight with portable balls lets you remove a glowing orb to help guide your way. I’m sure this makes bedtime a lot easier with kids, too!
8. See-through toasters.
This is brilliant! It’s hard to set the perfect heat for toast, and once you find it, someone inevitably moves it. The Cuisinart ViewPro glass toaster lets you check your toasting progress without popping it up every 20 seconds.
9. Self-cleaning hairbrushes.
If you have a hairbrush, you have this problem. After a few uses, hair starts piling up at the base of the bristles. Hair products get all gunked up in there, too. If you think about it, it’s pretty gross. The bristles on the Qwik-Clean hairbrush retract, allowing you to remove hair and clean the base.
10. Indicator lights for bikes.
With more and more people opting to get around via bike, these things should be built-in. Yes, there are hand gestures that bikers use to indicate changes in speed, upcoming turns, and lane changes, but most non-bikers don’t know what the gestures mean. BlinkerGrips definitely make sharing the road a lot safer!
11. Tiny trackers for all your important stuff.
Tile is a Bluetooth tracking system that syncs with a smartphone app. If you misplace one of your tagged items and it’s within 100 feet, you can make it ring from your phone. If it’s outside that range, just hit “last place seen” and it will show you on a map.
12. Nasal screens.
At first glance, I thought “This is a stupid idea.” But then I read about the product and changed my tune. These nasal screens stick to your nostril and filter the air you breathe, reducing allergens, germs, and even disease-causing pathogens. They’re also discreet. These would be great for travelling to places with poor air quality.
13. Vending machine cheeseburgers.
I can’t believe I just wrote that phrase. If you haven’t already guessed, we’re now in the section of really weird and dumb inventions. Who in their right mind would eat a cheeseburger they bought from a vending machine. It’s going to taste awful, and this has food poisoning written all over it.
14. Sailor Moon sanitary products.
Whaaat? Why?! You know what helps me feel better during menstruation? Knowing that I have little anime superheroes handling my business. NOT.
I bet you also pay a premium to have the sailor girls handle your flow.
15. Trigger operated cat paws.
Oh, and they meow ! But, why?! It doesn’t look like it can actually grip anything. So if it isn’t a novelty grabbing stick, is it just for poking stuff? I can guarantee any real cat will see this thing and immediately commit to killing it.
16. Glitter bombs…for “down there.”
Yep, you read that right. A Texas mom invented glitter-bomb capsules to insert into your vagina where they dissolve, releasing “candy flavored passion dust.” They’re supposed to make sex a glittery disaster — sorry, “make sex magical.” Some gynecologists strongly advise against their use, saying they could cause vaginal dermatitis (think vaginal sunburn ). Ouch!
17. Cell phone underwear.
I don’t understand the point of these. They aren’t protecting or hiding anything. So, it’s literally just a money grab and one more spot for grime to collect on your phone.
18. KFC chicken flavored nail polish.
This was created as a way to market the famous fried chicken to youth in Hong Kong. But…wth?! It smells and tastes like chicken. Do they think it’s totally normal to walk around sucking your fingers all day?
19. Vaginal shrinking wands.
Is anyone else getting pissed that so many products tell women their vaginas aren’t good enough?! This “wand” is inserted into the vagina and claims to shrink it, making sex more pleasurable. I’m just gonna throw this out there, but I’m thinking this is all about men’s pleasure — ’cause that hasn’t been adequately handled yet.
20. Sesame Street banana hammocks.
“La Laa la laaa… La laa la laaa… Elmo thong!” I would argue this looks more like a g-string, which is even worse! What did Elmo ever do to you?!
21. Pajama jeans.
I love jeans as much as the next person, but they wouldn’t be my choice of sleep attire. Or are these meant to be jeans made from pajama material so you can look like you’re a presentable adult when really you’re wearing the same thing you slept in? In which case, jeggings are already a thing.
22. Martin Loofah King exfoliating glove.
I can’t. You know how some people criticize capitalism for being an exploitative monster? This product validates that statement. Sure, I get the clever play on words, but come on.
23. High-heeled Crocs.
Is this a joke? Crocs have been out of style since…well, since they first lazily sauntered onto the scene. Their only acceptable use is as a gardening shoe. Who thought there would be a market for these? And if there is…I’m done with humanity.
24. Gold poop pills.
Sold by Citizen’s “Indulgence” line, these capsules promise to “turn your innermost parts into chambers of wealth.” You eat them and once you digest them, your poop will be plated in 24K gold leaf. They sell for $425 each. I’m officially done.
