Twitter | @jobertabma

12+ Tweets For People On The Brink Of A Breakdown

Paddy Clarke 18 Feb 2020

Breakdowns are fast becoming a natural part of society. What with all of the constant chaos and misery going on in the world, and the fact that when you grow up you realised that you can't do all the fun things you wanted to do as a kid, it's no wonder that people are a bit stressed!

So, for all of those of you out there feeling like you're about to shave your head and move house out of the blue, here are 12+ tweets for people on the brink of a breakdown, to hopefully show you that you are not alone out there!

1. Now With Confetti!

You can get the same effect if you take in two laser pointers and wave them around like you're at the lowest budget rave ever.

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2. "Clap Your Hands If You're Struggling With Existential Dread!"

Then you derail the gig by having an in-depth conversation with the singer about your problems and bum everyone out. There is no encore.

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3. Cleaning The Bathroom... Constantly

That moment when you realise that cleaning the bathroom is your life now, again and again until you die, is a quite eye-opening moment.

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4. The Show Must Go On!

I mean, is can be both things if you really want it to. Don't let anyone tell you that you're not the mentally distressed star of your own failing sitcom!

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5. The Eternal Struggle

There are a few things that are like this, such as matching pairs of socks, any keys ever, and my will to live first thing in the morning.

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6. The Hard Sell

And despite all of this, you know that you're absolutely still going to buy that magical face scrub.

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7. The Return Of The 2000s

Other things that we don't want back from the 2000s include The Crazy Frog, poking people on Facebook, and frosted tips.

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8. The Taste Of Freedom

I mean, Fridays still give me quite a feeling of relief, but nothing compared to that feeling of a backpackless existence.

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9. Sugar Daddies PM For Tears

As much as this is a joke, I reckon there is absolutely someone out there with this kink, and you should definitely not be tempted by that fact.

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10. Screams In Sheep

Screaming every once in a while can be incredibly cathartic. Try it now! Unless you're at work, then maybe wait until you get home unless you want HR on your case.

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11. I'll Find The Time!

I often find it amazing how often I'll say, "Sure I'll find the time!" Like, where do I think I'm going to find all of this time? In the pockets of my other pants?

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12. Halfway To Britney

No matter how low or stressed you feel, I can confirm that home haircuts are never the answer. Please, heed these words, for the love of God and hair, heed these words.

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13. Through The Looking Glass

It doesn't even matter if things don't have an "Eat Me" or "Drink Me" sign on them, just take a punt.

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14. Hold Her Steady!

Would it be easier to just buy a new charger? Yes! Are you going to do it? Of course not!

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15. Wow!

Stupid tree stealing all of the attention from people void of happiness and only held together by a fear of the void itself. Get your own thing, tree!

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16. And The Winner Is...

No one, no one wins here. Except perhaps the people who own Reese's for coming up with a snack that provides delicious respite from the crushing weight of reality ever so temporarily.

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17. The Map To Happiness

Ice cream has curative powers that are a mystery to most doctors. Sure, they'll bang on about sugar, but have they ever tasted it? It's amazing!

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18. Suggested Serving Size

In my experience, suggested serving sizes are off by at least three other courses. Oh, and a pudding.

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19. Gotta Keep Those Numbers Down

Although, you don't want to keep them too low otherwise people will start expecting you to be normal and stable all of the time, and that's just boring!

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20. The Scourge Of Slow Walkers

Twitter | @jobertabma

I will never understand people who walk slow. I mean, how can you be that casual about your life, do you not have places to be and things to do? Reveal the secrets of your carefree existence you fiends!

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