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    Dad carrying child on his shoulders (Unsplash | Kelly Sikkema)

    Simple Cardboard Vase Activity Encourages Kids To Explore The Great Outdoors

    Grandma crocheting

    Forget Flowers And Gift The DIYer In Your Life A Yarn Bouquet Instead

    Remodelaholic | https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:30_Hudson_Yards_(92900).jpg

    You Can Make Your Own Backyard Oasis With A Fire Pit Just In Time For Summer

    Pool noodle DIY monsters

    28 Amazing DIYs That Are Seriously Made From Pool Noodles

    Unsplash | Kenrick Mills

    Stunning ‘Sea Glass’ Quilts Are A Beautiful Way To Use Up Fabric Scraps

    Unsplash

    Artist Creates Adorable Creatures Inspired By Tea

  • Home & Garden
    joes-garden-on-tiktok-for-gardening-tips

    You’re Probably Watering Your Plants Wrong—Expert Explains The ONE Reason Your Plants Die Fast

    Home Depot | www.homedepot.com

    People Are Writing Hilarious Reviews For Home Depot’s $1500 Crab Sculpture

    Unsplash | Robin Wersich

    Woman Shares Hack To Help Keep Our Gardens Green All Summer

    Unsplash | Sandie Clarke

    18 Gardening Tips And Tricks Perfect For Beginners

    Unsplash | Annie Gray

    People Who Have Been On Home Makeover Shows Share How It’s Going Now

    Unsplash | Emiliano Bar

    TikToker Shows How Little $4,000 Rent Gets Apartment Hunters In NYC

    Red and Blue folded towels

    ‘What Is The Purpose Of This Part Of A Towel?’ – Online User Sparks Debate Over Confusing Detail In The Home Item

    Pexels  | Pexels

    We’ve Been Carving Pumpkins Wrong For Years, But One Woman Set Us All Straight

    yellow fish inflatable

    Gardener’s Genius Hack: Using A Kiddie Pool As A Flower Bed

  • Food & Drink
    Unsplash | Aubrey Odom-Mabey

    Woman Sets Out To Try All The Recipes Left On Grave Markers

    Reader's Digest | Paramount

    Cooking Mistakes We’re Probably All Making

    youtube | Warner Home Video

    Firefighters Rescue Two People Who Fell Into A Chocolate Tank At A Mars Factory

    Unsplash | Towfiqu barbhuiya

    Here Is The Perfect Peanut Butter And Pickle Sandwich Recipe

    Unsplash | Quin Engle

    A Man’s ‘Demonic’ Way To Cut Pizza Has Divided The Internet

    TikTok | @thewirelady

    Here’s The Perfect Hack For You To Make Chocolate Croissants With An Air Fryer

    Unsplash | Katie Smith

    People Are Dishing Out Their Favorite Lazy Cooking Cheats, So We’re Taking Notes

    Canva

    Disney’s Olaf Hot Chocolate Bombs Are Like A Warm Hug In Every Mug

    Instagram | @lacroixwater

    LaCroix Is Launching A Limoncello Flavor, And It’s The Perfect Mix For Cocktails

  • Cooking & Recipes
    Unsplash | Aubrey Odom-Mabey

    Woman Sets Out To Try All The Recipes Left On Grave Markers

    Reader's Digest | Paramount

    Cooking Mistakes We’re Probably All Making

    Unsplash | Towfiqu barbhuiya

    Here Is The Perfect Peanut Butter And Pickle Sandwich Recipe

    TikTok | @thewirelady

    Here’s The Perfect Hack For You To Make Chocolate Croissants With An Air Fryer

    Unsplash | Katie Smith

    People Are Dishing Out Their Favorite Lazy Cooking Cheats, So We’re Taking Notes

    Unsplash | CA Creative

    People Are Sharing The Worst Homemade Meals They’ve Ever Had

    NBC | NBC

    Random (But Useful) Kitchen Hacks Everyone Should Know

    Unsplash | Conscious Design

    Hilarious Cooking Mistakes That Took A Bad Turn

    Unsplash | Louis Hansel

    Chefs Share The Ingredients People Often Overlook

  • Bed & Bath
    Unsplash | Grant Beirute

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    Unsplash | Jude Infantini

    Expert Says Not Washing Pillows Often Enough Can Make People Sick

    Pexels  | Pexels

    18 People Who Took Bathroom Decor To The Extreme

    Unsplash | Jeremy Sallee

    Chances Are Most Of Us Have Been Washing Our Duvets Wrong

    Unsplash | LeeAnn Cline

    Wife Sparks Debate After She Says There’s No Need To Iron Bedsheets

    Unsplash | Nathan Powers

    Apparently, Vodka Is The Secret Ingredient To A Spotless Bathroom

  • Pets & Animals
    Croc attack

    Horrific Footage Of Tourist Mauled By 15ft Crocodile After Jumping Into Enclosure

    Vanilla the chimp sees the open sky

    Stunning Footage Shows Chimp Experiencing Sunlight For First Time After Almost Three Decades in A Cage

    Genetically created 'dire wolf' (Colossal Biosciences)

    Scientists Claim to Have Brought Back Wolf Species From 10,000 Years of Extinction –  But Other Experts Dispute It

    Unsplash | Hans-Jurgen Mager

    15 Animals With Vaguely Threatening Auras

    TikTok | @cat_the_vet

    Veterinarian Explains Why Norway Banned Breeding Bulldogs And Cavalier Spaniels

    Unsplash | Colin + Meg

    Incredible Footage of Moose Shedding Antlers – See It for Yourself

    Unsplash | Sergey Semin

    Cat With No Eyes Has A New Life Now As An Online Sensation

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10+ Hilarious Tweets From Women To Cheer You Up After You Check Your Bank Account

by Caitlyn Clancey
5 years ago
in Humor
Reading Time: 2 mins read
A A
Twitter | @AbbyHaslssues

Twitter | @AbbyHaslssues

Share on FacebookShare on TwitterPin This Post

This morning I made the terrible mistake of taking a little looksie at the ol’ bank account, and I really haven’t recovered yet.

I’m not sure anything can ever really prepare you for that reality check, but if you also find yourself stunned with the truth of your own spending habits, I think I have something that can help soothe that burn: hilarious tweets from women!

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So sit back, relax, and forget about that number that just made your soul die a little while you enjoy some gut-busting treats, courtesy of the amazing ladies of Twitter.

What a romantic story.

I have made it very clear to my boyfriend where he is not allowed to propose to me, should he ever feel the need to devote himself for me for life or whatever. I guess now I’ll be adding “Olive Garden” to that list.

Also included: jumbotrons at sporting events, family gatherings, or any crowded places where our private moment has an audience.

Big mistake.

Honestly, I hope I never end up with someone who tries to give me unwarranted workout tips.

You can kindly keep those opinions to yourself where they belong.

Please.

I know there’s a difference, like, I’m sure of it… I just don’t know what that difference is.

Cheese? No cheese? I’m useless.

My biggest fans.

I’ve never even met most of them but the minute my mom posts a picture of me on Facebook, my fan club suddenly comes out.

The audacity.

Yes, I’m looking at you every-female-celebrity-ever.

You’ve got some nerve.

Gotta make sure it fits first.

The name has to suit your lifestyle, so make sure you test it out, get a feel for it. This is very important.

Why am I like this?

I feel like I spend way more time writing things on my to-do list than I do checking them off. And I don’t ever really see that changing, to be honest.

I do not have the patience for slow cookers.

I’m a need-it-right-now kind of person, and that attitude extends into my cooking habits. I have zap-fried many things in the microwave that definitely do not belong in there.

Even just reading that sentence made me tense up.

My entire University career was spent re-introducing myself via some very awkward icebreaker games in which I either had to come up with an interesting fact about myself, two truths and a lie, or by sharing my favorite flavor of ice cream.

And then proceeding to never talk to anyone in any of my classes.

This is too real.

The anger that I exhibit while trying to force a comb through my tangled hair is honestly startling. Like, I don’t know her. She’s terrifying.

Yes, exactly.

If you aren’t scooping an inordinate amount of ranch onto your chicken strip then I’m sorry, but you’re not eating those right.

Emotional road rage is real, y’all.

Every time I get behind the wheel I lose every ounce of tolerance I have for other people and I turn into this bitter woman violently cursing every single person who dares to pull out in front of me.

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