Twitter | @ELLASCHU

10+ Hilarious Tweets From Women To Help You Forget That Guy (No, The Other One)

I don't know about you, but I have one or two (or several) guys I would really like to forget about. No, not just forget. I mean I want to completely eliminate them from my brain and my life in one fatal swoop.

Anyone else in desperate need of that memory-erasing gadget from Men in Black?

Well, unfortunately for us we don't exactly have access to such technology at this moment in time. But what better way to brush off the ghosts of Tinder past then by reading some hilarious tweets from women!

So if you too need to bleach a Tyler, a Brad, or even an Matt from your mind, look no further because I've got just the tweets do do the trick.

Every weekend.

I don't know what I was thinking when I agreed to go to a baby shower for my second cousin's girlfriend or why I thought it would be "fun" to attend a slam poetry reading at 11 o'clock on Saturday night but I'm really pissed at past-me right now.

That girl has got to go.

The best way to burn some cals.

If you have never found yourself stuck inside a sports bra without any feasible way of peeling that tight ish from your body, then you might not understand this.

But the rest of us know the struggle. We know what it's like to experience that brief moment where you think, "Well, this is my life now. I'll be wearing this thing at my funeral."

Or how long my makeup routine works.

I'm out here putting the hour in shower.

That moment where you become the very thing you fear the most.

I also never thought that one day I would actually catch myself rinsing out a Ziploc bag to reuse again later but here we are.

Catch me up at 7 AM talking to my friend's mom at the breakfast table.

First kid up meant that you had an obligation to lay in your sleeping bag for an hour, blinking up at your friend's basement ceiling and thinking about the rest of your weekend plans before eventually wandering into the kitchen to tell Mrs. Quinn how school's going over a bowl of Cheerios.

JoJo knew where our feels were and she made sure to hit them with every song.

I can vividly remember sitting on my bedroom floor with my discman in my lap while I cried about the boyfriend I'd never actually had. Music is powerful.

You can't just READ the recipe.

Every Pinterest post starts with the author's personal history as it relates to this particular lasagna recipe with a few side-stories thrown in about that "unforgettable" summer they spent in Sicily with their Nonna learning everything they could about pasta shells and cured meats.

After ten minutes you'll forget you were even reading a recipe and you'll be startled when they start talking about oven temperatures.

Sis, I couldn't even do it at 17.

When in doubt, get that phone out. That's what the calculator app is for, guys.

I really thought it would come in handy down the road.

Flashback to me in grade six spending the night before the school dance desperately learning how to "crank that" just so I could join my friends in throwing our skinny little arms around together.

Haven't done it since. What a waste.

I don't even recognize her.

I can admit I basically turn into one of those tightly-wound middle-aged Karens with the bobbed haircuts who snaps the second I get a notification that my package has been delayed at the processing center.

There are two types of people in the world.

These are two very different Samanthas but I think we all know someone who fits perfectly into either category.

Another Samantha I'd like to throw into the ring here is my girl from Now and Then. You know, the science fiction author played by Demi Moore who showed up to her adult friend's house wearing a full suit? That's the kind of Samantha energy I'd like to exude, thank you very much.