People Share The Things They Most Regret Finding Out

"That my mother knew she had cancer a year before she told anyone or rather, a year before she was 'diagnosed' after I literally forced her to see a doctor for her then extremely distended stomach.

"I was under the impression that we told each other absolutely everything because up until that point, we did. I found out the truth a month after she died when I’d requested all of her cancer-related paperwork from her oncologist." — RxQuine

Some people will try and keep their ill-health a secret from family members, in an attempt to shield them from pain. However, sometimes it is kinder to tell them that you are suffering, as your family can process the information and help you work through it, as opposed to feeling blindsided when they find out, such as in this case.

"That my younger sister has a high rank in a local BDSM club..." — dmsyr

Apparently, this person found out at a pride parade. Their sister was "master of ceremonies" on a BDSM float, wearing all of her fineries. I can imagine that must have been a bit of a shock.

"That my best friend took her own life. She told me she was moving and gave me all her stuff because she said she had a furnished room where she was going. I hadn't heard from her in a while and she never answered my texts so I looked up her name to see if she had an accident. Nope, it was suicide. The kicker is she had talked me out of it back in 2014 and I wasn't able to be there for her." — jetgirl80444

They responded to comments writing that they still had some of their friend's vinyl records. They wrote that they still listen to them from time to time and that it feels like she is in the room.

"My mother died in a car accident when I was three. I found out from a newspaper article years later that it was her fault. She wasn't paying attention and crossed the yellow line and ended both her life and that of the person in the other car." — Agent_Vincent

It must have been hard enough to lose a parent at such a young age. However, to then find out that the circumstances were even more tragic at a later date must have brought back a lot of pain that they had worked passed.

"When I was about 14 my mom took me to a tattoo shop to get her nipples pierced. While the procedure was happening, she turned to me and said 'your Dad bites harder than that'......I could have lived without that info" — Aliciana2

Wow, there's a whole load of inappropriate things happening at once here! This person should have never been anywhere near this situation.

"That my ex sabotaged a condom to try and stop me from joining the military." — wolfofluna

This person ended up divorcing the ex that did this, and they did have the baby. This person still sees the child and doesn't want them to ever find out about the condom. They wrote that they only found out about her tampering with the condom from a mutual friend of them and their ex.

"My father never wanted me (or children at all) and actually told my mother that if she had me, he'd spend his life making both of us miserable. She was convinced that once he saw me, he'd change his mind. She was very, very wrong." — z0mbiegrl

Hopefully, this person managed to put this toxic person behind them. Their father may not have "wanted" them but the rest of the world does. While this cannot have been easy, there will be people out there who care for you more, and who will realize that the world is a better place for you being in it!

"My dad informed me when I got back from Iraq that I was the reason he and my mother got a divorce. I never really wanted to join the military anyways, and it fucked me up big time. They had financial troubles and my mom sent me care packages quite a lot. Apparently, that put them into bankruptcy, and if I hadn't joined it wouldn't have happened. I just wanted to get out of that house because it was like I didn't exist." — Pandaclops

This is a truly horrific thing to say to your son/daughter. They went on to write that their mother is happier since the split and that they have been steadily working through their mental struggles since this happened.

"Found out my girlfriend told my parents I was extremely suicidal and they responded 'so? What do you want us to do about that?' and they never brought it up again.

"A few months after they kicked me out for textbook depression, I found out my mom cashed out my Upland (program that froze college tuition prices for me @ cost of 1991 pricing) my grandmother set up and put money in. She used the $25,000 in it to pay off IRS from problems she incurred due to drug addiction." — Iamjacksgoldlungs

They explained in another post that while they can sometimes still get depressed, they are doing much better. They also ended up marrying the girl in the story and have moved away from their family. Cutting toxic people and family members out of your life can be a great way to grow as a person.

"Mom told me on a regular basis when depressed that she wishes she would fall asleep and never wake up. Don't tell a six-year-old this, damn." — Cal-cu-later

While it is tragic that the mother felt like this, and should have been in therapy for this, it is unfair to deliberately burden a young child with this information. The emotional weight of something like this is far too great for a child, and it can leave long-lasting emotional issues.

"After my dad died my mom before she died said he always felt my struggles were because of him accidentally dropping me down the stairs as a baby. I struggled in school with math and physically I have a form of muscular dystrophy but we didn't know that at the time so he believed my physical issues were his fault. It apparently ate him up and helped fuel parts of his depression. I didn't need to know that." — xerxerxex

Why would their mother have felt the need to share that? There is absolutely no benefit from telling them. This person went on to say, however, that they bear no ill will towards their parents.

"Way back when my husband and I were dating, I snuck a peek at his order history near my birthday and ruined my present. It was a beautiful engagement ring, exactly what I was hoping for. I was working multiple jobs, going to school full time and a general PMS monster during that time. I looked because my birthday present was 'late' and I assumed that he forgot. Nope.

"I never told him I knew that I knew he was planning on proposing and I don't ever plan to. Lack of sleep, stress, and hormones may have made me quite the bitch around that time but he always saw me through that and I’m eternally grateful." — pixiemamo

Thankfully, this still has a happy ending. Hopefully she never tells him, thinking that he had completely blindsided her will be a much better feeling than knowing she had found out by snooping on his internet history. Also, guy, if you're buying presents clear your history!

"That I was the asshole in my relationships. Turns out I've become the person I was afraid of becoming my entire life, my dad. A jealous dude with anger management issues who never sees his own faults.

"To be fair though, I've come a long way since my best friend straight up told me what I've become and that if I stayed that way she was going to stop being friends with me. I guess I don't regret finding out because it helped me get my shit together. However, the fact that you were the asshole and you were the reason some of your friends cut ties with you is a pretty hard pill to swallow. Especially knowing that you'll never get to make it up to some of them because it's been years, why should they care at this point." — Rumbleroar1

I'd say that you are probably better off having found this out. If it has helped you to grow into a better person, then as hard as it may have been to hear, it was probably for the best.

"About my mom f*cking my (her) cousin. Woke up in the middle of the night hearing her say his name. Ugh. Haunting. Editing to add - grandpa's brother's son." — AyameM

"How good it feels to be high on opiates." — eternalrefuge86

Thankfully, this person posted an update to say that they have now been 3 years clean after being an addict for 10 years. They explained that eventually, their addiction robbed them of everything in their life., and they knew they needed to change with rehab and therapy.

"I regret finding out that a priest I used to admire was a pedophile and has since been defrocked." — Back2Bach

While this may be a difficult thing to learn, it is important for these priests to be revealed to the world. There have been too many stories of this sort of thing, and hopefully, with more priests being revealed to the world, the Catholic church will do more to combat this issue that is rife amongst their ranks.

"That my father cheated on my mother on a regular basis, I discovered he even went in an orgy while with my mom which is not a cool thing to learn when you're 15 and don't know if your mother knows or not." — lesforcesdumel

"That China harvests organs from living people, specifically political prisoners and then their corpses and thrown in an incinerator. Frankly, the released HK protesters are lucky to be alive.

"That's like Hitler level evil and nobody is doing sh*t about it. Pretty horrifying." — Onahole_for_you

There are tonnes of articles and documentaries on this topic, and it is truly horrifying. Some of the stories that doctors have to tell on this issue will make you feel sick.

"That my grandmothers fiancé is a convicted pedophile, she doesn’t care and has moved in with him. He was a teacher at a middle school and sexually abused and violently assaulted 3 handicapped children." — xFitIsMe

What's worse is that in a separate comment xFitIsMe says the rest of the family sided with her and have basically cut them out of the family.

"Learning from my sister that my father told her that my mom's mom, was not paralyzed from the waist down because she fell off a fence, it is that she was beaten so badly by the man she was seeing at the time." — motherwarrior

"I didn't meet my dad until I was 15. It was in secret since my mother wanted nothing to do with him. Within the first 3 sentences exchanged, he felt the need to tell me that I was conceived on a beach in July during the last time they had sex.

"I was the product a going-away f*** in a relationship doomed before my conception. He followed it up with 'We were good at two things, me and your mom. Fightin' and fin'. Unfortunately we were fighting more than we were fuing so it stopped being worth it.

"10 years later and this is still how I get my family history." — Gilgamesh9311

"My ex is with a guy who is where I wanted to be in life five years ago.

"Delete Facebook dude." — ghost_sanctum

Even if your break-up was on good terms, it can be hard to see them move on.

That my former best friend was really only friends with me because I drove his drunk ass around, and because he wanted to get in my pants." — pocketnotebook

Thankfully, they are now a "former" friend.

"That my mother doesn't actually care for me but uses me as material to show off how much of a good mother she is and denies it by buttering me up to be more grateful about my life, really hurt." — TurtleOwOs

"Realizing I'm not all that okay with being a loner.

"It was easier when I didn't care that I had very few friends. :(" — TheCatApologist

Some people are loners, some aren't, and it sucks when you realize you're living the wrong social life for you.

"That my ex-wife f*cked my best friend just after we separated and while I was drowned in depression." — jayboogie15

By the sounds of it, they weren't really your best friend at all. You're better of without people in your life who would betray you like that.

"When I was around 10 years old, I was sitting on the couch and my older sister came towards me with a knife and stabbed a hole in the cushion about a foot from my leg. She pulled the knife out and immediately told me not to tell dad. I was young and naive and my sister had kind of twisted sense of humor so I really didn't know what to think. It definitely did some damage now that I look back on it.

"Years later my sister announced that she had planned to attack me with the knife, but chickened out at the last moment. At this point, I had all but moved on from the incident, but this brought it all back and then some." — DumbGuy3005

The sister apparently informed them of this attempted assault at their grandmother's funeral. She sounds like an absolute delight!

"My mum was 14 when she met my dad. He was 24." — DeDe_at_it_again

In a separate comment, they wrote that they were most upset to find out that their father hadn't backed away when he found out their mother was 14. In fact, they explained that their father had essentially manipulated her into the relationship. The pair eventually split when the mother was 30 and is much happier now.