Although I have zero kids of my own and am plenty happy about it, I have many friends who have started families, a few with a small herd following them around. They all attested that going from two kids to three was the hardest — going from man-to-man to zone defense is a big switch apparently.
As much as that change might be difficult, that doesn't necessarily mean that they're unhappy. In fact, according to science, having more kids makes you happier than having fewer.
And according to a study out of Australia's Edith Cowan University, there is an answer. Dr. Bronwyn Harman spent five years interviewing hundreds of families with a variety of make-ups, asking them questions about the level of support they receive, their esteem, and their satisfaction with life.
You might expect the parents to be awash in a constant battle of scheduling and portioning out attention, and you'd expect the noise and energy put out by four or more rambunctious little ones to run their folks ragged, but they seemed to enjoy it.
Dr. Harman saw a few distinct reasons why larger families tended to be happier.
We do live in golden age of contraception, and while accidents happen, it's highly unusual for accidents to happen four or more times.
"[The parents] usually say they always wanted a large family, it was planned that way, and it was a lifestyle they'd chosen," Dr. Harman told The Sydney Morning Herald.
Big families tend to be able to support themselves, to a degree. By the time the fourth child comes along, the eldest children can often help out with the little ones. Children get to learn about responsibility when they're still young, and as a bonus, they always have someone to play with, so parents don't usually have to deal with bored kids.
Several families with same-sex parents participated, and Dr. Harman found that they tend to be very resilient parents with well adjusted kids.
"They have to go to a lot of effort to get these children, so these children are very, very much desired," he said.
They were least pleased with their lives as they always felt left out and excluded, like the "lesser parent," blocked from seeing their kids and left out of school and medical situations.
"There is this perception that mothers are the real parents and fathers just sort of help," Dr. Harman said. "There is still no understanding that fathers are co-parents that have just as much responsibility for kids."
