Oldest Sibling Reaches Breaking Point With Parents After Years Of Caring For Troubled Brother

Woman refusing something.
Shutterstock | 2598844

Growing up with a sibling with concerning behavior can be difficult, but when it takes over your life it can be unbearable. For one woman, her brother's destructive behavior led to a childhood without friends, no gifts, and constant babysitting. Now as an adult, her parents are asking for help with her brother and she's had enough. Read on to find out why she refuses to help and if she's the A-hole.

Surviving siblings carries a unique burden of grief and responsibility.

south-artist3160 | south-artist3160

Struggling with a troubled sibling's destructive behavior takes a toll on the oldest.

south-artist3160 | south-artist3160

Dealing with an undiagnosed and troubled sibling can be overwhelming.

south-artist3160 | south-artist3160

Sacrificing my social life for my troubled brother's care 💔

south-artist3160 | south-artist3160

Growing up with a troubled brother: a birthday nightmare 😔

south-artist3160 | south-artist3160

🤯 Oldest sibling's struggle to care for a troubled brother

south-artist3160 | south-artist3160

Temporary relief in residential treatment for troubled sibling causes despair.

south-artist3160 | south-artist3160

Strained sibling relationship reaches breaking point, but can it heal?

south-artist3160 | south-artist3160

Sibling refuses to care for troubled brother, tensions rise 🔥

south-artist3160 | south-artist3160

Sibling confronts parents about caring for troubled brother 😔

south-artist3160 | south-artist3160

Are they the a**hole for reaching their breaking point?

south-artist3160 | south-artist3160

💔 Oldest sibling reaches breaking point with parents 💔

Growing up with a troubled sibling can be challenging, but for the oldest sibling in this story, it was a nightmare. From a young age, they were forced to put their life on hold and take care of their brother who had concerning behavior. They were not allowed to have friends over or attend birthday parties, and money was tight. Their life was hell when left in charge of their brother, and even though they were not prepared, they were expected to handle it.

After enduring years of this, the oldest sibling moved out and distanced themselves from their family. Now, the parents need their help to take care of their troubled brother, but the oldest sibling refuses. Is the oldest sibling being unfair, or have they reached their breaking point?

Read on to find out what others on Reddit think and share your opinion.

NTA. OP deserves to build their own life, not be burdened.

Aunty_Fascist | Aunty_Fascist

Parents neglecting troubled brother, leaving oldest sibling to suffer. NTA 🚫👨‍👩‍👧‍👦

BengalBBQ | BengalBBQ

NTA for prioritizing your own well-being after being parentified. 💛

grussfish | grussfish

Protecting the protector. NTA, you deserved better as a child. 👏

MeadowEstelle | MeadowEstelle

Sibling rightfully refuses to care for violent brother, neglectful parents

winsluc12 | winsluc12

Breaking point reached: Oldest sibling no longer caretaker for troubled brother 🚫👦

litt3lli0n | litt3lli0n

Being forced to parent a troubled sibling is not okay. 😔

TinyRascalSaurus | TinyRascalSaurus

Commenter suggests group home for troubled brother, but replies point out potential obstacles.

McflyThrowaway01 | McflyThrowaway01

Validating comment and professional insight on diagnosed brother.

IAmHerdingCatz | IAmHerdingCatz

OP rightfully refuses to be parentified and neglect brother. 🙅‍♀️

coloradogrown85 | coloradogrown85

Establishing boundaries with family is tough, but necessary. 🙌

[deleted] | [deleted]

Don't be burdened by your troubled sibling. NTA 🙌

Own-Yoghurt-4520 | Own-Yoghurt-4520

Suggesting professional caregiver instead of OP, NTA judgement supported.

VerySurlyPerson | VerySurlyPerson

Commenter calls out parents for neglecting troubled child. 💥

unlordtempest | unlordtempest

Taking care of your mentally disturbed sibling is not your responsibility 💁‍♀️ #NotTheA**hole

Honest-Illusions | Honest-Illusions

Support for NTA and suggestion to seek respite programs ❤️

ElishaAlison | ElishaAlison

Sibling takes charge, but parents need to seek professional help 💪

Selenite_Moon | Selenite_Moon

Breaking free from parental neglect and enabling behavior. 🚶‍♂️

oofmagoof123 | oofmagoof123

Don't be a doormat for your family, prioritize your well-being. 🙅‍♂️

vomcity | vomcity

Don't let your parents make you your troubled brother's parent 🚫

urn-enthusiast | urn-enthusiast

Sibling takes on financial burden of troubled brother, but not anymore. #NTA 💰

Mimis_Kingdom | Mimis_Kingdom

Parents shirking responsibility and blaming you? NTA 👏

Dork86 | Dork86

Don't let resentment consume you. Seek counseling for closure. ✨


Don't let your parents guilt you into caring for your brother 🔥


Commenter sympathizes with oldest sibling's struggle caring for troubled brother.

hatetank91 | hatetank91

Sibling deserved better, NTA for standing up and prioritizing self-care 💪

LoveLeaMel78 | LoveLeaMel78

Prioritizing yourself is not selfish 👍. Don't let them guilt-trip you.

jellyfishnova | jellyfishnova

Don't let your parents make your life a**hole-free 🚫.

Limerase | Limerase

Proper diagnosis and treatment could have prevented sibling burnout. 😔

FunkU247365 | FunkU247365

Taking charge of your own life 💪👊

gracenweaver | gracenweaver

Commenter suggests seeking professional help for troubled brother, NTA.

DangerousDave303 | DangerousDave303

NTA for wanting care for troubled brother. Parents should take responsibility 🤔

ParsimoniousSalad | ParsimoniousSalad

Taking care of a troubled sibling can be tough. NTA recommends respite care.

Algebralovr | Algebralovr

Supportive comment encourages seeking professional help for troubled sibling. 🤝

Quiet_Goat8086 | Quiet_Goat8086

Commenter advocates for parents to seek outside help for troubled brother.

Spoopyowo | Spoopyowo

Setting boundaries is essential. NTA for cutting toxic ties. 👍

[deleted] | [deleted]

Curious about family involvement and brother's undiagnosed condition 👀

Salamander_9 | Salamander_9

Suggesting a respite worker for parents with troubled child. 👍

TheQuietType84 | TheQuietType84

Don't carry the burden of others' mistakes. 🙏

Pepper-90210 | Pepper-90210

Take control of your life, they don't deserve to steal it 💪

painteddpiixi | painteddpiixi

Parents neglected OP, expect too much from them. NTA.

CuriousPenguinSocks | CuriousPenguinSocks

Don't sacrifice your well-being for your brother's destructive behavior 💪

Temporary-Deer-6942 | Temporary-Deer-6942

Prioritizing mental health and safety is not selfish. ❤️

adamtheundead | adamtheundead

Self-care is important. NTA for prioritizing your well-being 🙏

nifty1997777 | nifty1997777

Defend your freedom. NTA, you've earned it 💪

SororitySue | SororitySue

Take control of your life. You owe nothing to anyone. 🔥

Soviet_Beer | Soviet_Beer

Taking care of a troubled sibling is tough. NTA for refusing.

Top_Thing4890 | Top_Thing4890

Don't enable bad behavior 🚫

Gnarfbalalio | Gnarfbalalio

Direct support worker shares challenges of dealing with violent client

rocks_totallyrock | rocks_totallyrock

Commenter offers US-specific advice for caring for troubled sibling.

sweettea75 | sweettea75

Heartwarming comment offers support to struggling sibling. ❤️

Apart_Shoulder6089 | Apart_Shoulder6089

Standing up to family after years of caregiving. 🙌

PurpleWomat | PurpleWomat

Cutting ties with toxic family members: You're NTA 🚫👋

Ya-Like-jazz696 | Ya-Like-jazz696

Take back control 🚪💪 You owe them nothing. #NTA

AccomplishedRead13 | AccomplishedRead13

Compassionate friend shares similar experience, advises against caregiver expectations.

hazelnuddy | hazelnuddy

Support for NTA and drastic intervention suggested. ✅🚨

Codas91 | Codas91

Sibling conflict resolved with a NTA judgment 👍

ynvesoohnka7nn | ynvesoohnka7nn

A group home worker empathizes with the commenter's struggles ❤️

ginanatasha | ginanatasha

Feeling like a stolen childhood? NTA says it all 👍

angelaheidt | angelaheidt

Former Social Worker and aunt of autistic nephew supports NTA

Wawa-85 | Wawa-85

User shares personal experience and supports OP's decision. ❤️

UltimateUnreal666 | UltimateUnreal666

Parent of troubled brother acknowledges NTA, advises to report neglect and distance.

whatIhavetosay1 | whatIhavetosay1

Standing up to bad parenting 👏 #NTA

Electronic-Evening67 | Electronic-Evening67

Childhood trauma leads to justified resentment towards neglectful parents ⚠️

amdefinitelyperson | amdefinitelyperson

Sibling struggles with caring for troubled brother long-term. NTA.

Jicama-Smart | Jicama-Smart

Parents should take responsibility for troubled siblings 👏

TastyHome8183 | TastyHome8183

Breaking point reached: NTA after extreme parentification abuse.

cmlobue | cmlobue

Cutting off toxic parents? NTA says it all 🙅

Ok-Abbreviations4510 | Ok-Abbreviations4510