Woman Wonders If She’s Really To Blame For Making Her Behaviorally Challenged Boyfriend Mad After He Ruined A Very Special Dinner

Dinner Ruined By Boyfriend
Shutterstock | 82929

One of the biggest fears of couples going on a date is what will happen if they don’t like the other person’s behavior. And no, not just how the person moves or dresses – but how they eat. Because food is the biggest taboo when it comes to manners. In fact, etiquette lessons teach students to completely ignore their hunger when eating as this desire makes us eat faster and more often with our hands, which can only cause disgust in others. On the other hand, not eating enough is also considered improper – otherwise, we run the risk of looking like an alcoholic who needs to down a few glasses of wine during a meal… But let’s get back to this couple. As this woman told in her post in the AITA Reddit community, she and her boyfriend went to a very nice Italian restaurant to celebrate her promotion. Everything was wonderful until the moment when the pasta came out and her partner literally started digging into it with his fingers, dropping his fork and making a huge scene. As if this weren’t enough, he completely ignored his girlfriend’s reaction as she was embarrassed for him by all the other guests. However, the author of this story still wonders whether or not she was in the wrong for asking her boyfriend to eat in an appropriate way. As you read, please be sure to leave your own opinion about what happened in this restaurant. Or if you have ever witnessed similar behavior from someone you know or love, feel free to share your own story!

Celebrating a promotion with dinner at a nice restaurant, but the night didn't end as expected

aileeliz | aileeliz

My behaviorally challenged boyfriend ruined a special dinner - should I really take the blame?

aileeliz | aileeliz

A special dinner ruined: L and the challenge of adapting to different social settings.

aileeliz | aileeliz

Boyfriend ruins a special dinner and gets sauce all over his fingers, leaving the woman wondering if she's to blame.

aileeliz | aileeliz

Dinner quickly becomes a mess when his behaviorally challenged boyfriend drops his fork and starts eating with his hands!

aileeliz | aileeliz

He ruined a special dinner by burping loudly - many were appalled!

aileeliz | aileeliz

Behavioral issues were on full display at a special dinner, leaving the woman to wonder if she was responsible for her boyfriend's outburst.

aileeliz | aileeliz

After ruining a special dinner, she's left wondering if she's to blame for his behavior.

aileeliz | aileeliz

Her special dinner ruined, is she really to blame for her behaviorally-challenged boyfriend's anger?

aileeliz | aileeliz

Breaking💔eating etiquette at a fancy restaurant🤦‍♀️ AITA?

A woman and her 20-year-old boyfriend, L, had gone to a nice Italian restaurant to celebrate the woman's promotion. However, the boyfriend had no table manners and started digging into the bruschetta with his hands, ignoring the serving fork. Worse, when the pasta came out, he ate with his hands, getting sauce everywhere. To make matters worse, he loudly burped after he finished and put his feet up on the chair next to them, blocking the aisle. The woman left feeling embarrassed, blaming herself for not taking action or speaking out. But is it really her fault? This is the question the woman is asking. Reactions to this story have been mixed. Let's find out what they have to say.

Dude knows 💯 what he's doing 😳

StAlvis | StAlvis

The commenter asserted that the boyfriend was aware of his behavior, and took pleasure in publicly embarrassing the OP. The replies urge the OP to end the relationship, citing the potential for further abuse, lack of respect, and other concerning signs. 🚩

NTA: 🤦🏻‍♂️Bf ruined a special dinner on purpose?

Sleepy_felines | Sleepy_felines

The comment states that the boyfriend's behavior was unacceptable and that his smirk before the act suggests he knew what he was doing. The replies further suggest the behavior was calculated and done to humiliate the OP and remind her of her inferior position. They also compare his behavior to that of toddlers, which is considered disrespectful by some of the replies.

Tired of BF's behavior🤦‍♂️? Dump him!

Usrname52 | Usrname52

The comment states that the boyfriend's gross behavior was intentional and not just a mistake and that he was doing it to make a statement. Comment replies urge the OP to dump the boyfriend as his behavior is unacceptable and that he is acting like a child. The comment_replies also suggests that the boyfriend may be punishing the OP for her success and promotion.

😱End the toxic meal😱

[deleted] | [deleted]

The commenter insists that the woman should terminate her relationship with the 'behaviorally challenged' man after he ruined the special dinner. The replies express shock at how he behaved and suggest that his immaturity could be a contributing factor to the a**hole behavior.

NTA. 🚨 Spot on advice: run!

involuntary_cynic | involuntary_cynic

The comment says NTA (not the a**hole) and suggests that this behavior could be a sign of dominance. It recommends that the OP (original poster) take this as a warning sign, and not waste time on this a-hole. Multiple replies agree and offer additional advice to the OP to take the advice and run!

Deciding to break up?! 🤔

[deleted] | [deleted]

The comment suggested that NTA, OP's behaviorally-challenged boyfriend ruined something special. The replies discussed the importance of nipping the bad behavior in the bud, either by teaching him a lesson or, if the situation doesn't change, ending the relationship altogether.

NTA: 🤢🍝 He Deliberately Disrespected The Dinner 🤬

slayythan | slayythan

The comment author says they are Not the A**hole for being mad at their boyfriend for ruining a special dinner. They explain that it was extremely disgusting for him to act this way, and it was not done for cultural reasons. They also point out that even if the boyfriend couldn't use a knife or a fork, he should have behaved like a decent human being without making a mess. A reply agrees, saying that their boyfriend knowingly disrespected the dinner.

Cut your losses 🔪🚻 NTA 🙅‍♀️

Ok-Mode-2038 | Ok-Mode-2038

The comment confirms that the other person is not the a**hole (NTA) for the incident -- it was his deliberate choice to be a gross a-hole that ruined a special dinner for OP. Even though OP was tolerant of his behavior, the commenter concludes that the person doesn't care about her feelings, and the section_summary ends with a warning of what could happen in the future if OP decides to stay with him.

NTA! 🤔 WTF! 😲

SonuvaGunderson | SonuvaGunderson

The commenter has declared the situation Not The A-hole (NTA), and expressed disbelief; one reply sympathizes that it's a real situation.

*NTA* 🚫 dinner table etiquette gone wrong 🤦‍♀️

Maskydoo | Maskydoo

The commenter explains that the partner knew better and was intentionally acting with disrespect. They suggest it might be a power play, and urges not to settle for bad behavior.

NTA: His gross behavior ruined😬 the night

[deleted] | [deleted]

The comment asserted that the OP (original poster) was not the a**hole for making her behaviorally challenged boyfriend mad. It was mentioned that he had no respect for the OP, and the other guests had a right to judge him. The commenter suggested that the OP could do much better than her current partner, as his actions could potentially ruin her future promotions.

NTA: ruining dinner a deal breaker?

MooseValuable3158 | MooseValuable3158

The commenter stated that they would find ruining dinner to be a deal breaker and received agreement on the comment. A reply mentioned the risk of not even wanting to eat out in public because of the behavior.

No a**hole here 😉

moongirl12 | moongirl12

The commenter is standing up for the protagonist, declaring they are NTA (not the a-hole), and that the behavior is a huge red flag. The replies agreed, stating the action was done deliberately to embarrass the protagonist and that they should find someone more respectful.

NTA: He had no manners 🚩

colestah1 | colestah1

Commenter claims NTA, stressing that the man in the story did not respect the woman on an important occasion and exhibited immaturity.

🤔 Does his behavior serve a hidden purpose?

icecreampenis | icecreampenis

The comment suggests that the boyfriend may be engaging in a weird exhibitionist fetish and either gets off on the negative attention or humiliating his partner. No a-hole here as this behavior is not acceptable. A reply further states that this may be an example of poor lifestyle behavior, as one should not force others to non-consensual involvement in kink.

NTA: Bf ruins dinner ✋

pineapple1347 | pineapple1347

Commenter states that the boyfriend is Not the A**hole (NTA) in this situation as he ruined a very special dinner on purpose to cause trouble for the woman.

Parenting Faux Pas 🤦‍♀️

LabTasty4475 | LabTasty4475

The commenter believes the woman should have known better than to take a toddler to a nice restaurant and is NTA (not the a**hole). The comment suggests the woman should have let her partner blow off some steam in a play place before going out in public.

NTA: 🙅‍♀️ Don't let it get to 8 months.

That_Contribution720 | That_Contribution720

The comment reads "NTA - don't let it get to 8 months." The comment suggests that the commenter believes the woman is not to blame and encourages her to not wait 8 months before addressing the problem they are facing.

NTA: Respect goes both ways 👌

Padloq | Padloq

The commenter explains that the boyfriend was being disrespectful to everyone in the nice restaurant, especially to the OP. It's inferred that the boyfriend embarrassed the OP intentionally, as pointed out by the reply.

It's time to👋🏼drop👋🏼him💔

constructiveornot | constructiveornot

The comment states that the woman should drop her "behaviorally challenged" boyfriend after she realized that he purposely acted out at the special dinner to embarrass her. They also compare the situation to when some guys "pretend to be dumb" to avoid doing chores.

👀 Red flags spotted 🚩

OhioGirl22 | OhioGirl22

The commenter suggested that the girlfriend should leave her behaviorally challenged boyfriend after she observed red flags during a special dinner. They declared that the woman was NTA (not the a**hole) for her situation.

NTA: 🤔🤔 Is he getting off on it?

[deleted] | [deleted]

The commenter thinks the boyfriend's behavior is deliberate as if he's trying to reassert control and publicly embarrass the OP. They almost wonder if he gets off on it.

No 🍅 left behind 🤔

Ynsawk | Ynsawk

The original comment suggested that the woman's behaviorally challenged boyfriend was made mad because she expected him to use a fork for eating Bruchetta, which is finger food. The reply further elaborated that Bruchetta is toasted bread with tomatoes and other toppings served as finger food.

NTA, it's not your fault 🤔

justobsolete | justobsolete

The comment said “NTA and believe people when they show you who they are. Your bf is showing you he doesn't respect you and is going to make a scene and try to upset you anytime you try to do anything nice.” It suggests that the boyfriend’s behavior is not the commenter’s fault and that the boyfriend is jealous and insecure.

Tired of immature behavior? 🤦‍♀️

rengokusmother | rengokusmother

The commenter criticized the boyfriend's immaturity, claiming that basic table manners are a bare minimum. Furthermore, they noted that despite coming from a culture that casually eats with their hands, they never get food on their face or clothes. The commenter concluded that he gets a rise out of humiliating his girlfriend and should be dumped, NTA.

🔥 Cut your losses 🔥

TeeKaye28 | TeeKaye28

The commenter says NTA (not the a**hole) and suggests that the person should cut their losses as they have been dating the guy for seven months and he went out of his way to embarrass them.

Consider the consequences 🤔

PrivateEyes2020 | PrivateEyes2020

The comment suggests that the woman think about how her career path might be impacted by her behaviorally challenged partner's social awkwardness, as it could be seen as an incompatibility. It further states that the boyfriend's refusal to follow social norms is potentially a career killer, and that she should consider it as she likes nice restaurants, while he likes embarrassing her. NTA.

🤯 Breakup with this clown! 🤯

Gorilla_girl17 | Gorilla_girl17

This comment recommends the OP (original poster) to break up with their behaviorally challenged boyfriend - they point out he showed blatantly and obviously knowingly disrespectful behavior as well as having the audacity to tell the OP they are the a-hole. NTA, they suggest that it's time to call it quits.

Cut ties with💔childish bf🤦‍♀️

Lady_Ellie119 | Lady_Ellie119

The comment suggested NTA and that the man was acting like he was 2 and not good for a relationship. One reply suggested getting up and leaving the bf at the dinner.

💔 NTA: Partner's mocking smirk betrays true motives!

bs1114 | bs1114

Commenter says commenter's partner is Not the A-hole for making them feel uncomfortable at a dinner, but notes that their partner's smirk reveals their true motives. Commenter believes their partner's behavior reveals insecurity and hostility toward them and advises caution.

Is it time to break up? 🤔

Difficult-Sugar-9251 | Difficult-Sugar-9251

The commenter suggests that the OP's behaviorally challenged partner ruined their special dinner because they were showing off their financial success. They believe the OP is NTA but wonders if it's time to break up now. 🤔

Pig Behavior Not Excused 👎

Mindless-Wedding-115 | Mindless-Wedding-115

The original comment asserts that the commenter is Not The Ass***le in this situation and that the boyfriend shouldn't be treated to a meal again. A reply suggests not treating him to a relationship either, since his behavior is worse than that of a 4-year-old. 🤯

A debate on intellect 🤔

DoktorBuk | DoktorBuk

The original comment questioned the use of a thesaurus, but the reply claimed that just because the original commenter didn’t know any two-syllable words doesn’t mean everyone else is "uninformed"."

NTA: 🤔⚠️

KnightsSkye | KnightsSkye

Commenter says the boyfriend is "very immature", and NTA (not the a**hole).

🤔️ Is NTA but should've talked before.

ChiknLit | ChiknLit

The commenter wonders if the OP is really to blame for making her behaviorally challenged boyfriend mad after he ruined a very special dinner. They suggest having a serious conversation before taking him to a nice place in public, and suggest that the OP is 'NTA but something to consider for next time if there is one.'

NTA - not even a 🐶 has better manners 😒

AngryAssHedgehog | AngryAssHedgehog

Commenter said NTA (not the a**hole), indicating that the date's behavior was inexcusable, even by a 🐶's standards. The comment also suggests the date was deliberately trying to humiliate the commenter.

NTA: Time for a break-up?

Agitated-Routine4060 | Agitated-Routine4060

The comment suggests that it might be time to break up with the behaviorally challenged partner after they ruined a special dinner.

Breaking 🍴 etiquette 😳

skuldintape_eire | skuldintape_eire

The commenter stated that the boyfriend's behavior was not acceptable regardless of the circumstances, and no one was to blame for the ruined dinner.

NTA: He's not the a-hole!

snowwhitesludge | snowwhitesludge

The commenter believes the special dinner was sabotaged on purpose, as the boyfriend was trying to rile the OP and make her feel inadequate about her big promotion. They suggest that this is not acceptable behavior and the boyfriend is not the a-hole in this situation.

NTA: 🤦‍♂️ YTA: 🤦‍♀️

GothPenguin | GothPenguin

The commenter isn't the a-hole for wanting her behaviorally challenged boyfriend to use manners during dinner, but she is the a-hole for continuing to be with someone who embarrasses her when he doesn't get his own way.

🤔 Is running away the best option?

K9queen | K9queen

The commenter suggests that the woman should "run" from the relationship, as she only wasted 7 months.

👉🏼Is she NAH or YTA?🤔

Chaij2606 | Chaij2606

The comments suggests the boyfriend has behavioral challenges, so the commenter suggests the person in the article is NAH (No A**hole Here), but they should not leave the house with him.

🙅‍♀️Relationship Advice: 🚶F**k this s**t

Brightredroof | Brightredroof

The speaker was clear - NTA, but also suggested that the speaker should ditch their date, who was apparently behaving like a toddler, and look for someone more mature to date.

👀 Did this behaviorally challenged boyfriend really ruin a special dinner?

Ketsiaa | Ketsiaa

The commenter expressed disbelief, asking if the story was satire as there is no way this could be true.

🤔 Is she really to blame?

MrSonnyC9110 | MrSonnyC9110

The commenter suggested that the woman's behaviorally challenged boyfriend was 'beyond description' and advised her to look for someone who can act like an adult in public.

Huge 🚩: NTA!

4614065 | 4614065

The commenter called out the behaviorally challenged boyfriend for deliberately ruining a special dinner, labeling him a "jerk" and stating that it is a huge red flag to anyone in the situation.

Yikes! NTA. 🤔

[deleted] | [deleted]

The commenter declares that the OP (original poster) is not the a**hole and expresses their disbelief that the OP's behaviorally challenged boyfriend doesn't know basic manners such as how to use a fork. The commenter advises the OP that they need to teach the boyfriend manners, or the OP will be embarrassed all the time.

Ending a relationship due to weird behavior 🤔

ElectronicAmphibian7 | ElectronicAmphibian7

The comment suggested that the commenter thought that the woman should end her relationship with her behaviorally challenged boyfriend because his behavior seemed to be punishing her.

Is 🤔 YWBTA 🤷‍♀️ If You Date Further?

Ok_Imagination_1107 | Ok_Imagination_1107

Commenter suggests that the woman should leave her boyfriend as he enjoyed embarrassing her and she is worth more.

NTA: She wasn't wrong 🙅‍♀️

ShiningConcepts | ShiningConcepts

The comment agrees that the woman is not the a**hole (NTA) because she was giving her boyfriend the benefit of the doubt and thinking that he may not understand the manners. However, he was so arrogant and indignant when she got upset at him that the comment concludes he is the a**hole (NTA).

🤔 Is this a good idea?

Uncutgemma | Uncutgemma

Commenter questions why the woman is dating a four-year-old and suggests that she leaves the relationship.

NTA- they deserve better! 🤦

[deleted] | [deleted]

The comment states that the woman's boyfriend is an a-hole* and she should run away from him immediately. He ruined a very special dinner for her to embarrass her, when she should have a partner that routes for her and celebrates her successes.

NTA: Is your boyfriend pushing boundaries?

DapperEmployer9350 | DapperEmployer9350

The comment advises that the commenter is not the a**hole (NTA) and recommends the poster to pay attention to their boyfriend's character, and whether he goes too far playing devils advocate or excuses things as just a joke and claims others are too sensitive.

It's time for a fresh start😊

Amanda071320 | Amanda071320

The commenter sees a bright future ahead and encourages the poster to cut their losses after only 7 months in the relationship. No one is to blame here. NTA (Not the A**hole).

NTA, but it's a 🚩

Lex1982 | Lex1982

The comment acknowledges that the commenter is not the a**hole, but points out that the boyfriend's behavior is a red flag in the relationship. They describe the boyfriend's behavior as childish.