Man Gets Called A Jerk For Secretly Going To His Ex-GF’s House Instead Of Participating In His Fiancée’s ‘Family’ Sundays

Sunday Get togethers
Shutterstock | 679360

Recently, a 32-year-old man who goes by the nickname Baowat12 on Reddit revealed an incident that caused a family drama in his home. “So super weird situation and need a judgment,” he wrote in a post on r/AITA. The author noted that he has been engaged to Amanda for about a year. “We dated for 3. She has a 12-year-old daughter named Alexis. I and Alexis have a good relationship,” he added. According to the author, Amanda and her ex all have “a weird thing they do. They all get together on Sundays and hang out the three of them.” Although Baowat12 finds it strange, he went along with this “weird thing.” But one day, when Bella, his friend with whom he spends his Sundays, came to drop off his phone charger, Amanda asked where he was going every Sunday. Turns out, Bella was his destination.

A 32-year-old man visits his ex-girlfriend when his fiancée and her daughter plan "family" Sundays. He's in a bizarre situation and needs advice.

baowat12 | baowat12

Amanda's ex and Alexis have a strange Sunday ritual that her fiance is not invited to.

baowat12 | baowat12

"He was caught spending time with his ex but why?"

baowat12 | baowat12

This man goes behind his fiancée's back to satisfy his"ex"-girlfriend, defying his fiancée's "family" Sundays

baowat12 | baowat12

A man reconnects with an old flame, but it causes conflict with his fiancée 🤔

baowat12 | baowat12

He chose Bella's over family time - a decision that didn't sit well with his fiancee

baowat12 | baowat12

Man hides his whereabouts from his fiancée, but does his ex-girlfriend know? 🤔

baowat12 | baowat12

Man done wrong? He lied to his engaged to hide a secret rendezvous with his ex-GF. 😱

baowat12 | baowat12

An ex-girlfriend's 'family Sundays' puts a fiancee in an awkward spot. "Do you really not see the irony with that statement?"

baowat12 | baowat12

A man receives backlash for secretly visiting his ex-girlfriend's house instead of joining his fiancée's 'Family' Sundays

baowat12 | baowat12

Will his fiancée forgive him for sneaking off to his ex-GF's house? 👀

baowat12 | baowat12

The update reveals the full complexity of an already tense situation, with the protagonist firmly standing their ground.

baowat12 | baowat12

He gets called a jerk for wanting to hang out with a good friend instead of joining his fiancee’s ‘family’ Sundays. 😬

This user was recently called a “jerk” by his fiancee for not wanting to participate in her ‘family’ Sundays with her ex and her daughter. He’s been comfortable with his role as a partner, but he’s never understood why Amanda, her ex, and her daughter have kept this weird tradition. He tells us that he’s begun going to his old friend, Bella’s, house every Sunday to hang out and has been doing that for a while. Amanda just found out and flipped out, but he argues that he’s not trying to interfere with the daughter’s weekly highlight and that’s why he hasn’t been honest about where he’s been. He’s now decided to put his foot down and doesn’t want to be forced to leave his house anymore. Let’s take a look at the comments and reactions from Redditors.

🤔 YTA or NAH? 🤔

Aw_bull_nuts | Aw_bull_nuts

The comments discuss whether the original poster (OP) is an a**hole or not for secretly going to his ex-girlfriend's house instead of participating in his fiancee's 'family' Sundays. Most of the replies agree that OP is the a-hole because he kept the meeting a secret and is taking petty revenge on his fiancee while expecting her to be different when she is trying to co-parent with her ex. 🤷

🤔 Is it wrong to reconnect with an ex? 😲

shyfidelity | shyfidelity

The section's comment suggests it is wrong to reconnect with one's ex, and replies suggest the situation is further complicated by the fact that OP's fiancé's daughter is the one who invited the ex to ‘Family’ Sundays. Censored curse words are used in the replies to point out the hypocrisy in the situation. Everyone agrees that OP is the a**hole in this situation.

A struggle between family and loyalty 🤔

MuchPreferPets | MuchPreferPets

The commenter questions why the OP's fiancée asked him to leave his house every Sunday for her daughter and her family when he had no interest in doing so. The replies discuss the complex dynamic between the OP, his fiancée, and her daughter and point out how his fiancée is now trying to forbid the OP from doing this. Everyone here agrees that this situation is ESH.

YTA: 🤔Do you not see the difference?

AccessibleBeige | AccessibleBeige

The initial comment condemned the original poster's (OP) behavior as they were secretly meeting their ex-girlfriend while their fiancée was taking part in a 'family' Sunday routine with their child with the ex. The replies to the comment agreed with the initial sentiment, with one reply further criticizing how the ex-girlfriend comes to hang out every Sunday and how it's unfair to the fiancée. They suggest that OP break off the engagement and look for a childless partner instead.

Commenting 👊 on the drama 💥 of 'Family' Sundays

AdDramatic522 | AdDramatic522

The commenter takes a critical stance on the arrangement of 'family' Sundays, expressing their opinion that people can co-parent without devoting an entire day together and that the fiance should have been told about the ex's involvement. The replies explore the complexities of the situation, such as the legal custody breakdown and how the fiance's expectations may be unrealistic.

😒 YTA: OP passive aggressive 🤔

chonkosaurusrexx | chonkosaurusrexx

OP seems to have gone to his ex-GF's house to get back at his fiance, despite knowing that it was important to her daughter. Replies agree that OP is being passive-aggressive and also point out that he could have stayed in the house if he didn't want to leave them "a**hole".

No one wins 💔

Lettuce-Beginning | Lettuce-Beginning

The original comment stated 'Everyone Sucks Here' due to the protagonist not being upfront about going to visit his ex-girlfriend and his current fiancée's lack of consideration. Replies discussed how his fiancée's behavior was disrespectful and questioned why she didn't inquire about what the protagonist was doing in his own time.

🤔 Everyone's in a bad spot 🤔

[deleted] | [deleted]

The comment and replies suggest that 'Everyone Sucks Here'. The comment suggests that the fiance shouldn't be excluding the OP every Sunday and the OP should not have gone to see his ex without telling the fiance. The reply suggests that the fiance and the OP should not have let their daughter dictate their behavior.

😲 YTA: sneaking around with the ex 🤦🏻‍♀️

antonio-bolonio | antonio-bolonio

The commenter believes that the OP handled the situation poorly. They suggest that the OP apologize and find another way to spend the Sunday and that the OP's fiance and her ex should find a better way to practice the tradition, so the OP won't feel uncomfortable in their own home. The comment got a reply agreeing with them, adding that the OP has no business getting married if they handle conflict like this.

🤔 Coparents can work without maintaining family habits 🤔

Sammyweedz | Sammyweedz

NTA. The commenter noted that it's weird that the ex-GF and the man's fiance engage in 'Family Sundays' with the ex-GF, where he's not even allowed in the house. The commenter posed the question of whether it's something he wants to continue in the long-term, and replies continued the discussion with similar experiences."

YTA calls out lack❗️of boundaries

Minute_Box3852 | Minute_Box3852

The comment calls out the lack of boundaries set by the ex-girlfriend and her family, suggesting why the man should be included in their 'family' Sundays. The comment replies discuss how their situation is anything but a healthy dynamic and why the man is justified in making a statement by going to his ex-girlfriend's house secretly.

Adults need to act like one 🤔

DDecimal | DDecimal

Commenter believes that everyone in the situation needs to "grow up" and set boundaries, as there is a lack of maturity in everyone involved.

🤔 Everyone Sucks Here?

Legitimate_Ad_1125 | Legitimate_Ad_1125

The commenter points out that the original poster shouldn't have kept his plans with his ex-GF a secret, but also that he shouldn't have been excluded from the "family" Sundays. A reply suggests that his fiancée's ex-husband wants their daughter to live in her own "happy family", which the commenter believes is "just insane."

A fiance excluded 👎

[deleted] | [deleted]

The commenter said NTA (not the a**hole) to the man for secretly going to his ex-GF's house instead of participating in his fiancee's 'Family' Sundays. The commenter thought the fiancee was wrong for excluding him from such a big chunk of time every week, even after he voiced his concerns. The reply also agreed that if she neglected him every Sunday, he doesn't owe her an explanation for his whereabouts.

😱 Ex-GF's Family Sundays leave fiancée in the dark

Dariel2711 | Dariel2711

The comment expresses that everyone involved in the situation has made mistakes - the main poster for not being upfront, the fiancée for not noticing, and the ex-GF for having the 'Family' Sundays. Everyone sucks here “ESH”for the 'weird AF' situation.

A huge 🤦‍♂️ for the OP 😔 YTA

ThrowawayforMILBS | ThrowawayforMILBS

The OP was called a jerk for secretly going to his ex-GF's house instead of participating in his fiancée's 'family' Sundays. Replies highlighted that the OP was playing a losing game when he accepted his part-time role in the relationship and he should have valued himself more to hold out for someone who doesn't have this kind of a toxic family tradition. Everyone agrees the OP is the a**hole in this situation.

A suspicious 🤔 move ✋ that doesn't go over too well

ToPiggyback | ToPiggyback

Commenter says YTA (you're the a**hole) for not sharing with his fiancée about visiting his ex-girlfriend and for suggesting that co-parenting is on equal footing with hiding his visits from his fiancée. A reply agrees and adds that it's living in denial one day a week.

A walk down memory 🤔lane or shady secret? 🤐

classlassoer | classlassoer

The comment discussed about how it isn't ideal for the fiancé to secretly go to his ex-GF's house instead of joining his fiancée’s 'Family' Sundays. It raised questions about how a relationship would work if they have children together, and called out the fiancé for not being transparent about his plans and ex-GF.

Is it ❓curious or 🤔manipulative?

Odd_Trifle_2604 | Odd_Trifle_2604

Commenter asks if Bella is aware of OP's relationship and whether Bella is making a power play by inviting herself over unannounced. Replies point to the possibly manipulative nature, mentioning the convenient "phone charger" excuse and the fact that OP started hanging out with Bella again a**ume a**s no coincidence.

👀 See what a man did!

Confident-Cow2185 | Confident-Cow2185

The commenter was appalled by the man's behavior of secretly going to his ex-girlfriend's house instead of participating in his fiancée's 'Family' Sundays. They argued he was aware of the situation and could not compare the two, being that it was for the sake of his fiancée's daughter. YTA!"

🤔 Both sides are wrong. ESH!

TequilaSunburn123 | TequilaSunburn123

The comment calls out both OP's ex-girlfriend and OP's fiancée for their wrongdoings. Both of them are guilty of something and the comment suggests that ESH (Everyone Sucks Here.)

The ex-GF's doing the same⁉️

[deleted] | [deleted]

The commenter doesn't think the fiancée is in the right for telling the man to stop seeing his ex-GF, as she's doing the same thing. The commenter believes the fiancée "can't realistically be mad" for the man doing exactly what she's doing.

NTA: healthy relationship doubts 🤔

digitydigitydoo | digitydigitydoo

The commenter believes the person is 'Not the A**hole' because they were excluded from the 'family day' and their partner never asked where they go. They argued that this probably means the relationship is not as healthy as one thinks it is.

Family 🤔• Respect 🤝

Lab-Gold2747 | Lab-Gold2747

The comment suggests that everyone should have respect in their relationship and gives an example of family time that doesn't involve one partner getting pushed aside. There's also a suggestion to have a talk about feelings and set boundaries in the relationship.

🤔 Friend or foe? 🤔

ComfortableFlight2 | ComfortableFlight2

A comment questioning the relationship between the protagonist and his ex-girlfriend Bella. According to the comment, everyone involved in this situation is in the wrong.

🤷‍♀️ Something fishy at play!

Lumpy_Branch_552 | Lumpy_Branch_552

The commenter is saying that the man is not the a**hole for not wanting to participate in his fiancée's 'family' Sundays. The commenter also thinks it's weird that the man has to leave his own home all day on Sundays and mentioned that this may make the kid hope her parents get back together.

🤔 YTA but should you be included in "family" Sundays?

CompetitiveStick6239 | CompetitiveStick6239

The comment expresses that they believe the man is the a-hole (YTA) in the situation, but they also understand why he acted as he did and can relate. They urge the man to talk to his fiancé about why he is not included in "family" Sundays.

Family tensions & 🤔🤔🤔

mangosyrups | mangosyrups

This comment questions the choice of the man to secretly go to his ex-GF's house instead of participating in his fiancée's 'family' Sundays. It believes that the man should not be together with his fiancée anymore as he clearly is not happy with something she is not willing to compromise on. It further believes that the fiancée should have asked the man about his days instead of expecting him to be home with her family on Sundays. "Rip the divorce bandaid off and stop having family time without you on Sundays", concludes the comment.

🤔👉He's back in his ex's life?

4balsc | 4balsc

The commenter is suspicious that the man's ex-girlfriend might be trying to win him back since she let him know he left his charger at her place and now he's spending 'Family Sundays' with her instead of his fiancée.

He accepted it but 🤔

Total-Being-4278 | Total-Being-4278

The commenter accused the man of accepting his fiancée's "arrangement" before he knew her, but then punishing her for it by "hanging out" with his ex alone at her house. The commenter concluded that the man was the "a**hole".

👊 OP is asked not to participate in "Family" Sundays, then gets called a jerk

Mangekyou- | Mangekyou-

OP reveals that he was asked not to participate in his fiancée's "Family" Sundays, then gets called a jerk when his fiancée finds out he's been secretly visiting his ex-GF's house. Other commenters argue that it's understandable for OP not to want to spend all day every Sunday with his girlfriend's ex and that he was purposely excluded.

👀 You Vs. Her Ex 🤔

dltmurphy | dltmurphy

The commenter deems the man a jerk for not telling his fiancée that he was visiting his ex-girlfriend because his fiancée would have done the same thing but for the sake of her child.

🤔 Everyone sucks here? 🤔

lotus_eater123 | lotus_eater123

A commenter concluded that the situation between the man and his fiancée won't work out in the long term, as he is "dating" his ex behind her back and his fiancée has asked him to "remove herself from the relationship" for half a weekend every week.

It's everyone's fault 🤔

makerblue | makerblue

The situation has escalated to Everyone Sucks Here, but the way things were handled makes the commenter You're The A**hole. Hanging out alone with an ex-girlfriend is different than responsibly co-parenting with an ex, and the commenter's actions are worse than their fiancé's. Instead of keeping secrets, they should have been more open about their feelings and tried to find solutions that worked for everyone.

Families don't always get along 🤷‍♀️

amjay8 | amjay8

The comment suggests that everyone getting along is nice, but it's concerning that the OP's fiancée kicked them out of the house one day a week and excluded the OP. It was seen as passive-aggressive and the OP needs to figure a lot out before marrying.

Family Time 🤔😬

PendejoDeMexico | PendejoDeMexico

The comment claims that pretending to have a 'happy family' once a week is not healthy and that if the Fiancée wants to build a future with OP, she should start incorporating him into family activities. It also suggests that it will not be practical to keep things separate when they have their own kid. Overall, the comment declares Everyone Sucks Here as it implies that this is an orchestrated 'gotcha' moment.

Engaged man secretly visits ex-GF 🤔

PlotTwistsEverywhere | PlotTwistsEverywhere

The commenter points out that the man should have communicated better with his fiancée and that he was wrong to secretly visit his ex-GF without discussing it with his fiancée first. They also note that he will have to get comfortable with his ex being involved in his life for at least 6 more years since dealing with an ex will be an until-she's-18 thing.

Yikes! 🤦🏽‍♂️

juliemvelasquez | juliemvelasquez

The commenter declared that the man was not the a-hole in this situation, and a reply agreed.

👀NTA but still needs a reset 🤝

OGRonin240 | OGRonin240

The commenter states that NTA, but the situation still needs to be reset so that everyone's feelings are taken into account.

🤔 NTA if genders were reversed!

Medium-Ad8849 | Medium-Ad8849

The commenter states that if the genders were reversed in the situation, the person who was left out would be accused of being insecure.

Can OP have female friends? 🤔

Nova_Lurker | Nova_Lurker

The comment questions why OP is getting called TA for seeing an old female friend when Amanda has crossed the line by telling him to find another way to spend Sundays. The comment suggests ESH since both OP and Amanda have done the wrong things.

🤔 Blending a family can be tricky!

[deleted] | [deleted]

Everyone sucks here. The commenter believes Amanda has a right to be upset but also thinks it's ridiculous to have to leave the house on "Family" Sundays. Going forward, it's suggested adjustments be made to make the transition smoother for the blended family.

NTA: 🤔 What's gonna happen when ex gets married?

PrintOwn9531 | PrintOwn9531

The commenter is not the a**hole and thinks the OP's fiancee is wrong for setting up a 'happy family' gathering with her ex. They suggest that the OP should at least be included in the Sunday gatherings, and ask what will happen when the ex gets married.

Is it really about the kid? 😕

Top_Detective9184 | Top_Detective9184

The commenter calls it ESH as the post reveals a man going secretly to his ex-girlfriend's house and not participating in his fiancée's 'Family' Sunday. The commenter wonders if the man was honest with the ex-girlfriend and how it reflects on the step-co-parenting relationship. They suggest that the man should try to include himself in the day and ask what will happen if the couple has more kids.

OP puts his foot down 😡😡

[deleted] | [deleted]

OP refuses to be subjected to his GF's daughter's unreasonable requests and admits that he has put his foot down. While agreeing that hanging out with his ex may have been wrong, OP explains why the situation is unreasonable. In the reply, OP admits that he won't leave his house anymore and that his GF is feeling guilty.

👎🏻 What's wrong with going to his Ex's?

Amazing_Dot_2571 | Amazing_Dot_2571

The commenter calls the man's 'family Sundays' excuse for seeing his ex-girlfriend 'complete BS'. The commenter questions the justification for the man's ex-girlfriend to be included in a 'tradition' which implies an intimate connection in their past.

🤔It's a minefield of 🤝poor communication 🤐

HarbingerOfCoy | HarbingerOfCoy

The comment suggests that ESH, both the fiancé's and the commenter's behavior are wrong and need to be rethought. It calls for better communication between the two of them before they proceed toward marriage.

Ex-GF's Visit: 🤔 ESH?

finallymakingareddit | finallymakingareddit

The commenter suggested that the man was secretly visiting his ex-GF and heading for a disaster, especially since the ex had just come out of a marriage. They felt that ESH was the appropriate verdict, though they were not sure what to judge the situation as.

🤔 NTA: Fiancée's behavior👀

Positive-Source8205 | Positive-Source8205

Commenter suggested the fiancée's behavior is suspicious, declaring Not The A**hole in the situation.

🤔 NTA for being friends with an ex?

sweet_and_sour_01 | sweet_and_sour_01

The commenter thinks the original poster is not the a**hole for wanting to hang out with their ex-girlfriend, since they are just friends. They also think it is silly that the fiancée is uncomfortable with the idea, considering she has friends who are exes too.

YTA: OP gets called out 🤦

Indy_IT_Guy | Indy_IT_Guy

The comment's author points out that the OP has been hiding his visits to his ex-girlfriend's house from his fiancée and is not taking part in 'Family' Sundays. The author believes that this makes the OP a jerk and 'YTA' (you're the a**hole).

Dumped for sneaking 🤔

beckdawg19 | beckdawg19

YTA: The commenter thinks the original poster deserves to be dumped for sneaking around and spending time with his recent ex while ignoring his fiancée's "Family" Sundays meant for her kid with her ex. A**hole behavior indeed!

👀NTA - what's the 👀sauce?

Azenogoth | Azenogoth

The comment stated 'NTA.' (Not the a**hole), implying that the man was not in the wrong. They then added 'sauce. Gander. Some assembly required.', suggesting that the situation is complicated and there may be more to the story than meets the eye.

Adulting fail? 🤔

[deleted] | [deleted]

A comment pointed out that "ESH There’s a real big lack of adulting happening here" - suggesting grown-up behavior was sorely missing from the situation.

An 🤔 awkward 💔 situation 🤷‍♂️

Mikey_the_bestTMNT | Mikey_the_bestTMNT

YTA: Commenter believes it was wrong for the man to secretly visit his ex-girlfriend's house without disclosing it to his fiancée.

YTA? 🤔

ApesThoughts | ApesThoughts

The comment questions the man's actions, suggesting he's the a**hole for going to his ex-GF's house secretly instead of joining his fiancée's family Sundays.