When it comes to weddings, you must have already noticed how big of a deal it is if the couple has matching outfits and bridesmaid dresses that are chosen in accordance with the bride’s choice. People usually take into consideration what their attendants like wearing and what colors they prefer so that they can look their best on such an important day.
However, there are some families and relatives who don’t think twice when it comes to making someone wear a dress that they don’t want to or don’t feel comfortable in. An instance of this was shared by Reddit user extreme-break-6638 who was asked if her soon-to-be niece could be one of her bridesmaids but later found out that the girl doesn’t like wearing dresses nor does she feel comfortable with being feminine.
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I (32f) asked my fiancé’s niece (15) to be a bridesmaid at our wedding and gave her a say in what she wears ♀️
The 15-year-old niece was uncomfortable when the topic of wedding dresses came up, so the bride-to-be made sure she knew she wasn’t obligated to wear one.
Defending her 15-year-old niece’s right to choose her own attire, a woman stands firm against outside pressure
She gave her niece freedom of choice and the chance to be comfortable at her wedding – no more traditional dresses!
A bride-to-be giving her niece more freedom for her wedding sparks a disagreement between her and her fiance’s family
Should she compromise her ideals for familial peace on her wedding day?
Protecting her niece’s freedom of expression
When a 32-year-old woman asked her fiancé’s 15-year-old niece if she wanted to be a bridesmaid, she did not expect the pressure to wear a dress that came with it. After witnessing her niece’s discomfort, the woman stepped in and gave her the option to wear anything she wanted, as long as it was within the wedding colors.
Now, the family is divided but the woman stands her ground. Is she in the wrong for overriding the parents’ opinion or is she just protecting her niece’s freedom of expression? Let’s dive into the comments and reactions to find out.
Bridezilla moment ♀️ !
The commenter encourages the bride to “go full bridezilla” and be assertive in standing up for her future niece, who is not comfortable wearing a dress to the wedding. People agree and urge the bride to be a “wholesome bridezilla” and give everyone at the wedding the option to choose their own attire with pockets included!
NTA: Take your niece shopping!
The commenter suggests OP (original poster) should take her niece shopping and keep the clothing item she chooses for the wedding at her house – to protect it from any potential interference from the mother. Replies further suggest OP should bring another bridesmaid with her.
NTA: Let the 15-year-old be comfortable!
The commenter, who uses NTA (not the a**hole) to express their opinion, says that the 15-year-old bridesmaid should be allowed to wear something that she is comfortable in, regardless of the mum’s opinion. The reply adds that not only is it cruel to the niece but also an inconvenience to all the other bridesmaids and MOH (maid-of-honor).
Stick to your guns!
The commenter’s opinion is that NTA (not the a**hole) for allowing the niece to wear what she’s comfortable in, but YWBTA (you would be the a**hole) if the niece is forced to wear something uncomfortable due to her family’s bullying pressures. The replies also agree that sticking to the original choice is the best option and that it is important to allow teenagers to make their own mistakes so they can learn from them.
NTA! Treating others with respect isn’t a fashion show ♀️
OP and their fiancee were praised for opting to prioritize comfort over traditional garb for the wedding. Replies agreed that the parents were the ones who needed to work on themselves, not the 15-year-old niece and that OP and their partner should position themselves as her ally. Everyone applauded the couple’s attitude toward the situation. NTA!
NTA Supporting A Young Girl
The commenter is Not the A**hole (NTA) for advocating for the 15-year-old niece’s comfort by telling her she doesn’t have to wear a dress to the wedding. The replies explore the possibility that the niece is exploring her gender identity, is embarrassed, or is facing sexual and/or gender-based harassment. All agree that forcing her to wear something she’s uncomfortable with is inappropriate.
NTA: Respect your niece’s wishes ✅
This commenter believes that the woman was in the right to tell her future niece to wear whatever she is comfortable in, even if it means not wearing a dress. The commenter goes on to explain that it is the woman’s wedding and other relatives don’t get to decide what the wedding party wears.
NTA. Let people do their thing!
![Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]](https://static.diply.com/13232754-cced-488e-90f2-da6091765a40.png)
The commenter advised that the woman is not overruling the parents and suggested that people should be able to do their own thing with regard to clothing, referencing a wedding where the mother of the groom wore a trouser suit and looked “gorgeous”.
Replies include an anecdote about the mother of the bride asking to wear pants and the father of the bride asking to wear sneakers. Another anecdote was shared about a wedding where every bridesmaid was put into a “pea green/hot pink confection” that suited no one.
Standing up for nonbinary rights!
The commenter is nonbinary and went through a similar experience when at a wedding. People in the conversation commented on how it is possible to find gender-neutral clothing and that there needs to be more acceptance and visibility for gender-neutral wedding attire. The commenter says the OP is NTA.
Cool aunt✅clothes are clothes❌
OP is commended for being a cool aunt-in-law and it is confirmed that they are NTA. A reply shares a personal experience of being judged by what they wore and states that you can never win. Another reply describes their 15-year-old daughter who only wears dresses/skirts rarely and mentions their son wearing a skirt sometimes. The overall sentiment appears to be that clothes are clothes and people should not be forced into wearing something that makes them uncomfortable.
NTA: Bride stands her ground!
The bride’s fiancé’s parents are expecting her to change the MoH’s outfit for their 15-year-old niece’s sake, but the bride is not backing down. All her “close members of the wedding” should be comfortable and not just “bystanders.”
NTA ❤️ Doing God’s work!
The comment said ‘NTA and you’re cool af. Doing gawds work’. The replies appreciated the original poster (OP) for encouraging the 15-year-old niece to wear whatever she wants to the wedding. They praised the OP for doing God’s ‘actual’ work, not what others might say.
NTA: Bride’s prerogative
The bride sets the dress code for the wedding and is in her right to offer an alternative to the 15-year-old niece. The comment replies further stress that it is not the parents’ decision if the bridesmaids all get ready together at the venue and the bride can hold onto the niece’s wedding attire if the parents try to “overrule” it.
NTA: Saving 15-year-old niece
The commenter believes that the protagonist is saving her 15-year-old niece by making the niece her fiance’s ‘courtesy ask’ and is protecting her from potential damage when more relatives get married in the future.
NTA: Let her wear what she wants!
The commenter said the original poster is “NTA”, and suggested that she should let her fiancé’s niece pick her own outfit in the couple’s wedding colors. The commenter added that the niece should not be “forced” into a dress if she doesn’t want to wear one.
NTA : it’s ‘s wedding, his rules!
The commenter stated that the bride was “Not the A**hole” and that it is her fiance’s wedding, implying that the bride can make her own rules.
NTA: Your wedding, your rules ♀️
The comment says that the woman is Not The A**hole (NTA), and that it’s her wedding, her rules. The commenter also suggested that the woman’s fiance’s family might be pushy, and if they are, she may want to consider buying the clothing for her niece if it’s not within her budget.
Heroic advice!
The commenter found the bride’s response to the 15-year-old niece’s request totally heroic and proclaimed her “NTA” (not the a**hole). No replies were found.
NTA – let your niece wear her own wedding wardrobe!
The commentator is Not The A-hole (NTA) for suggesting that the bride should let her fiancé’s 15-year-old niece wear whatever she wants to the wedding. The commentator also suggests that the bride pick out the outfit with her niece, allowing her to feel more comfortable without her parents pressuring her to wear a dress.
NTA! Let her feel comfortable at your wedding!
The commenter believes that it was the right thing to do to tell the fiancé’s 15-year-old niece that she doesn’t have to wear a dress to the wedding. They suggest that she should be allowed to pick something she feels comfortable in, such as a jumpsuit or other outfit.
Love is in the air
The comment ‘I love you?’ was replied to with ‘I love her too. And therefore you as well. Happy cake day!’ A warm exchange of love and celebration is shared between the commenter and the replier.
♀️ OP is NTA and the hero!
OP is not the a**hole and was praised for telling her fiancé’s 15-year-old niece that she doesn’t have to wear a dress to her wedding.
NTA : parents need to ♀️
The comment stated that the commenter was not the a**hole and that the parents of the 15-year-old girl should stop being ‘dickheads’ to her.
NTA: It’s her wedding
The comment states that the woman is Not The A**hole for telling her fiancé’s 15-year-old niece that she doesn’t have to wear a dress to the wedding. There were no replies to this comment.
Woman stands up to in-laws
The woman takes on her in-laws over a dress code disagreement with her 15-year-old niece. She one-on-one with her niece to let her know “she can wear whatever she wants as long as it matches your color so she knows you have her back.” The woman draws a line in the sand for future situations and tells the in-laws if they do not like it, they simply do not need to attend.
Bride to be puts her foot down
The commenter stated that the bride has the right to set her own rules and that the niece’s parents would be wrong to force her to do something against the bride’s wishes. They also suggested finding something more ‘feminine’ to wear for the nuptials with the niece’s consent, but not just to please her mom.
NTA – giving support
The commenter thinks the commenter’s niece is not supported enough and agrees that it was not wrong to tell her that she doesn’t have to wear a dress to her wedding.
Supportive NTA verdict
The commenter suggested that it is the woman’s gig and her rules, implying that she is NTA (not the a**hole).
Standing up for her niece
The commenter suggests that the bride should stand firm on allowing her niece to wear pants to the wedding. The commenter notes that this would be a powerful message to show her niece that it is okay to be exactly who she is. The commenter believes the bride is NTA (not the a**hole).
NTA – Show respect & love
The comment states that the woman is “NTA” (not the a**hole) and should keep including the girl in the family, letting her know that she is a safe person and that she wants a relationship that respects her as she is. No replies were found.
NTA: You provided options!
![Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]](https://static.diply.com/12dcb071-b7e0-481e-8de7-691f1ef738b9.png)
The comment is in agreement that the woman’s decision to provide dress options instead of forcing the 15-year-old niece to wear a dress was the right thing to do. She had already offered her maid of honor to choose a pants suit, making it unfair to force others to use dresses.
NTA – ⭐️ It’s okay to overrule the parents!
The commenter believes the woman is Not The A**hole for overriding her fiancé’s niece’s parents and allowing the girl to wear what she wants to the wedding. Supporting their comment, one reply states that it is sometimes okay to override parents if they are being bigots or a**holes. Another reply added that all of the bridesmaids looked stunning, regardless of whether they were wearing a dress or a jumpsuit.
Is it wrong to offer a choice?
The commenter wonders what the parents of the 15-year-old niece would have forced her to wear if she hadn’t been a bridesmaid, implying that giving her the option to wear something else is the right decision.
An Aunt with an Open Mind
The comment praised the woman for being open-minded and encouraging the 15-year-old niece to wear what she is comfortable with for her wedding. NTA (not the a**hole) was the acronym used to express their sentiments.
Standing up for her niece
![Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]](https://static.diply.com/b89b4af2-5ea2-456c-9bc6-be042a7c35f6.png)
The commenter says NTA for sticking up for her niece and to not back down.
NTA: Your Wedding, Your Choice
The commenter declared that the woman shouldn’t feel guilty for her choice to tell her fiancé’s 15-year-old niece that she doesn’t have to wear a dress to her wedding. The commenter believes that this would make the young girl “very happy”. No replies were found.
Supporting niece, ✅
NTA (Not The A**hole). The commenter thinks it’s great that the speaker is allowing their bridesmaids to wear whatever they’re most comfortable in, and that it would be ridiculous to make the niece wear a dress to make her look more feminine.
Trousers for everyone
The commenter believes that wedding guests should all wear trousers, instead of dresses. NTA (not the a**hole) suggesting an alternative to traditional wedding attire.
Planning a wedding? NTA
The comment asserts that “NTA” (not the a**hole) when planning a wedding as it’s the couple’s decision and not their in-laws’. The comment then provides a list of four bullet points to support this opinion.
A supportive message
The comment offers a supportive message to the 15-year-old niece; they remind her that “Reddit has y’alls backs.”
NTA: More people like you❤️
The commenter praised the original poster for supporting gender non-conformity, saying “NTA I’m massively gender non-conforming people like you make life easier for people like her and myself the world needs more people like you.”
NTA: ✊ You showed her respect
The comment says that the author was NTA (not the a**hole), as not only did they have the right to decide how their bridesmaids should dress, but it was also kind of them to recognize what the 15-year-old niece was going through and give her the choice of wearing a dress or not. The comment also takes a jab at the mother and grandmother for trying to dress the niece up as a Barbie doll and forcing her to be what they want.
Bride-to-Be Asks: Is It OK 😎 To Let Fiancé’s Niece Wear Pants to the Wedding?
NTA – it’s the bride’s prerogative to choose what the wedding guests wear. The comment assertively states that it’s the bride’s wedding and she should be allowed to make decisions about her guests’ attire.
NTA ❤️: Modeling a powerful message to the future neice
The commenter stated that the poster is NTA (not the a**hole) and should focus on the powerful message that was modeled for her future niece. No matter the reason behind her fashion choices, the response gave a lot of children hope.
NTA! Wear what you want
The comment suggests that the woman is not the a**hole for informing her fiancé’s 15-year-old niece that she does not have to wear a dress to her wedding. It also suggests a creative approach to having bridesmaids—three in dresses and three in pants.
Be yourself✨ NTA!
The commenter supports the woman’s action of telling her fiancé’s 15-year-old niece that she doesn’t have to wear a dress to her wedding, encouraging her to embrace being unique. They also relate to being a tomboy during their teen years.
NTA: You Decide Wedding Wear ♀️
Commenter says NTA (not the a**hole) – the bride-to-be has the right to decide what wedding attire should be worn, regardless of the reason. Congratulations on the upcoming wedding!
NTA: You’re being considerate and taking charge!
The commenter thinks the OP is NTA (not the a**hole) and they are acting in accordance with good manners by making sure the 15-year-old niece enjoys the wedding. The commenter also suggests that the girl’s mom is worried about something, but whomever it is can have a sympathetic but firm conversation with her.
OP Stands Up For Teen Nibling’s Self Expression
OP is “NTA” for standing up for their future nibling’s right to express themselves at their wedding. They agree with the sentiment of “bridezilla it if you have to” and make it clear that whether the Nibling is trans, non-binary, or just prefers not to wear a dress, they will be supported and allowed to dress comfortably. OP and their fiancé are also letting their wedding party know to dress as they feel comfortable because traditional gender roles are “bullshit.”
A thank you to those advocating for comfort and style
The commenter was NTA (not the a**hole) and expressed gratitude to people who advocate for other people to find their own comfort and style.
Your wedding your rules ♀️
The comment encourages the woman to make her own rules for her wedding, emphasizing that it’s her wedding and she should do as she likes.
❤️Kudos for being a caring adult!❤️
The comment thanked the OP for noticing their niece’s discomfort with the dress and allowing her to express her opinion about her clothing. The comment further commended the OP for striving to “be the adult you needed when you were a child”.
