Parents are bound to make mistakes when it comes to raising their children. That’s life. Nobody can be faultless all the time. But what makes it difficult is when parents aren’t on the same page when it comes to their children’s behavior. And when they send mixed messages, it can have an adverse impact on a child’s mental state. And that is what happened to Redditor fairisnotfair, whose family drama story he shared on the r/AITA subreddit, garnering mixed reactions to the thread .
Celebrating a Friend’s Special Day with An Unforgettable Disney World Trip
Father Defends Decision to Allow One Child to Go on A Trip, Leaving the Other Behind
Son Returns from Trip with Gifts, but Sister Burst Into Tears Anyway
Mom’s Plan Backfires as Father Refuses to Punish Son for Attending Birthday Trip, Leaving Daughter Behind
One Parent Stands Firm: A Family Vacation or No Punishment ♂️
Not Punishing His Son for Being Lucky ♀️ a Father’s Dilemma
When the best friend of his son celebrated their 13th birthday back in March, they were invited to go to Disney World. While his wife was hesitant to consent to this, the father thought it was unfair to not allow their son to have this opportunity. The son went and when his sister saw him back with souvenirs, she burst into tears. Now, the father is presented with a dilemma, should he let his son attend the family vacation against his wife’s wishes to even the score, or should he stick to his principles and not punish his son for being lucky? This is an interesting case.
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Let’s see the comments and reactions from the netizens.
NTA! ❤️ Mom’s Unfair Treatment of Her Son Is Shocking
Commenter declares that the mom is the one in the wrong and is treating her son unfairly. Others sympathize and suggest mom may be trying to make up for her own lost opportunities from childhood. The general consensus is that mom is trying to do the wrong thing for the right reason.
What Happens when Family Favors Are ♀️?
The commenter questions the unfair treatment of the kids if one of them succeeds in an area where the other falls short. They ask what would happen when the son gets into a college that the daughter does not, or when the son has kids and the daughter has miscarriages. Replies discuss situations of one child being held back because the other failed a grade and the potential for unresolved childhood issues from the mother.
Parenting Can Be Hard
The comment suggests NTA (not the a**hole), as the father’s decision was right and appropriate. It mentions that the daughter needs to be taught to handle situations where she may not get the same opportunities as everyone around her with grace. It further suggests that the root of the wife’s reaction may be due to some trauma in her past. Suggestions were provided for the couple to learn from the situation and move on.
Mom Excludes Son from Family Vacation
OP’s wife excludes her son from a family birthday trip for no reason and the comment replies suggest that this might be part of a larger issue of favoring her daughter over her son. The replies also point out that the daughter might not be okay with the idea of leaving out her brother. OP is judged as NTA while their wife is seen as the a**hole in this situation.
NTA: ♀️ Don’t Punish One for The Other
The commenter is firmly in agreement with the father, upholding the view that the kids should not be punished for the other’s choices. They explain that siblings might have different friends and opportunities, and that “evening the score” is a ridiculous ask that will only cause more problems.
NTA: Everyone Deserves a Chance
The commenter argued that the son should not be “punished” even though he was given a privilege that his sister did not receive. A reply shared an experience of a similar situation, where they were left behind instead of their sister, and how it would have been more unfair to not allow the sister to go on the trip because of them.
Dad’s Opinion NTA, But Counseling May Help!
The commenter thinks that the father is not the a**hole (NTA) in the situation and suggests couple counseling to help the family. A reply to the comment suggests that the mother’s actions could lead to resentment between the two kids.
Father NTA ✊ For Not Punishing His Son
The comment states that the father is Not The A**hole for not punishing his son for going on a birthday trip, while his sister stayed home. Replies suggest that this is setting the wrong expectations into the kids’ minds, provide an example from one’s own life, a commenter states that the father is right in not expecting the siblings to share the same friends.
Is Mom’s Favoritism ❗️ A Red Flag?
The comment suggests that the mom is favoring her daughter over her son, which is a red flag. The replies suggest that mom’s behavior toward their children in their daily routine should be examined.
Life Isn’t Always Fair
Not The A**hole (NTA) in this situation, the comment suggests that it is cruel to the son to have excluded him from the trip while his sister was allowed to go. It is suggested that life is not always fair.
A Mom’s ‘Disgusting’ Demand
The comment said NTA because the mom’s demand of punishing her son for being “lucky” enough to go on a birthday trip was ridiculous and unjust. Comment replies mentioned how the daughter’s Disney enthusiasm should be considered when planning the next family vacation (if the money is available) and that the mom’s demand might be due to something that happened to her in her childhood.
NTA. Don’t Teach the Wrong Lessons to Children
The comment argues that the father should not punish his son for going on a birthday trip, as it would lead to children resenting each other in the future. It suggests that rather than teaching that one should be held back from experiences because their sibling can’t join them, parents should encourage children to take up new opportunities.
Dad’s Dilemma: Does He Punish One While the Other Goes Free?
The commenter believes that the father is NTA (not the a**hole) for not punishing his son because punishing him just because he is older and doing what is age-appropriate would mentally scar him. A reply believes it would be a “stupid way to raise kids and would “f**k them up.”
A Family Squabble
The father is not the a**hole here, as his wife is being petty by not striving for equality within the family. It turns out, another commenter’s wife and younger brother don’t always get along, but they still love each other.
Mom After Dad ♂️ Refuses to Punish ✋ Son
The comment says the dad is NTA, as he had the right idea by saying yes to his son and showing his daughter that it’s not always going to be the same. Dad should have taken their daughter somewhere special while the son was away. However, it is clear that the wife has a favorite.
Dad Refuses to Punish His Son. NTA
The comment discusses the situation where Dad refuses to punish his son for going on a birthday trip while leaving his sister at home. The commentator states that Dad is NTA (not the a**hole). They advise Dad to not let his wife do this, as it’s damaging and cruel. They point out that the nine-year-old is old enough to understand and also note that he bought his sister extra souvenirs as a surprise, which is sweet.
Do Life’s Opportunities Need to Be Fair?
The comment suggests that expecting life to be perfectly fair between siblings isn’t realistic. Instead of trying to make everything equal, the commenter suggests that individual opportunities should be seen as learning experiences for when siblings face more complex unequal situations in the future.
No One Should Be Favored ♂️
NTA! A commenter on the thread discusses how a coworker’s situation proves that an unfair parenting approach will ultimately lead to strained or broken relationships with the children. The commenter urges the mother to take a step back and not continue down this path.
NTA, ♀️ ♂️
The comment states that the father is not the a**hole and that the mother is, who appears to be favoring their daughter over their son in this situation. It suggests that the mother should take her daughter to do something special just for her as a solution instead of punishing her son for something that is out of his control.
Mom’s Unfair Decision
The commenter believes that the mother was wrong to be furious with the father’s decision to include his son on a family trip, as the son should be included in family events.
Parental Conflict!
The commenter expressed that the father is Not The A**hole in the situation and should stay firm in his decision, despite the mother’s objections.
Stepmom or Not?
The comment questioned if the angry mother is the stepmom of the son. The reply confirmed that it is not the case, and the situation is truly puzzling.
NTA: You Don’t Have to Punish Your Son for Something He Didn’t Do!
The comment advises that the father should not punish his son for something he did not do, and suggests that the family could have a vacation together. A comment reply advises the father to keep an eye on his wife’s favoritism towards their daughter.
NTA – Two ✌️Different Scenarios
The commenter declares that the father is “Not the A**hole,” as the son and daughter have two different scenarios and should be treated accordingly.
Dad’s Got a Plan
A commenter suggests a way to “even the score,” which is to have the mother go to Disney with their daughter while the rest of the family goes on the family vacation. His suggestion implies that the mother should not have a problem with excluding her own son if she’s willing to exclude herself and her daughter to do something more important.
Not the A-Hole Here
The comment agrees that the father is not the a-hole and suggests that the mother can stay behind if she feels a need to punish someone.
Father Stands His❗️ground
The commenter declares the father NTA for refusing to punish his son for going on a birthday trip and expresses concern about the wife’s “even the score” comment.
♂️ NTA: Wife Wants to Punish Son for Having Friends ⛔
The comment states that the father is not the a**hole in this situation and that the mother is wrong for wanting to punish their son for spending time with his friends.
NTA: Life Isn’t Always Fair
The commenter argues that the father is not the a**hole (NTA) for not punishing his son for going on a birthday trip. They suggest that the father would not exclude his daughter from a school trip if it was only for her class. The replies argue that the wife’s intention of wanting to “even the score” is disturbing and a cruel punishment for a 13-year-old. They criticize her for wanting to be mean to her son and not being nice to him.
Daughter Will Get Over It
The commenter believes that the father is NTA (Not The A**hole) in this scenario, as his daughter will have other opportunities to explore that her brother may not have. The commenter relates to this situation, as growing up with three brothers, he would sometimes get left out but got over it eventually.
NTA, Don’t Let Her Make Decisions!
The comment, NTA (Not The A-hole), suggests that the father of the family should not let the wife make decisions as her judgment is impaired. Replies relate to other people in their own family that have done the same unbalanced thing with their own kids, e.g., one kid got to go to the beach with his friends while the other is not allowed to go to an amusement park with the family.
Don’t punish innocence!
The comment suggests that the father NTA in this situation, as punishing his son for having a good time away with his friend would be wrong. Siding with his daughter won’t teach her anything, but rather make his son feel resentful. The message given is that life is not fair, and teaching kids that the world owes them something can lead to a life full of disappointment.
Not Cool!
The comment is in agreement with the article’s headline, asserting that the father is Not The A**hole in this situation, as the wife’s suggestion is not cool.
NTA: Dad is Doing The Right Thing!
The comment states that the dad is not the a**hole (NTA) for not punishing his son for going on a birthday trip and leaving his daughter at home. The comment explains that this is a normal upbringing with siblings and that the mother is being petty in this situation.
It’s Part of Life
The original comment suggests that siblings will have different memories, experiences, and feelings that will be hurt. They present an example of how their older brother was given a car by their grandparents and how the other three siblings did not get one. The comment suggests that it would be ridiculous for parents to refuse such a gift because the grandparents weren’t planning on gifting four cars.
Mom’s Strange Behavior
The commenter says the father is NTA (not the a**hole) and shows surprise at the mother’s strange behavior.
The Mother’s Behavior ⚖️
Commenter claims that the mother’s behavior is “very cruel,” suggesting that she may have a bias against the commenter’s son.
NTA Has Wife’s Attitude Created a Rift?
The comment author states that the father is not the a**hole for refusing to punish his son and emphasizes that the mother’s behavior could create a rift between her and her son. The daughter needs to learn to be happy for others’ good fortune in order to avoid becoming an entitled adult.
Evening the Score: NTA
Commenter affirms that the father is not the a**hole (NTA) in this situation as it was a stroke of luck for the son, rather than the parents showing favoritism. The commenter goes on to stress that it would be wrong for the parents to try and even the score for both children in life by taking the son on a beach trip while leaving the daughter behind.
Does Mom Have a Favorite?
![Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]](https://static.diply.com/03eeba07-6ea2-47a3-917d-74de5c00f2f8.png)
The commenter reflects on the difficult situation of discovering that the OP’s wife has a favorite child. A reply states that having a favorite child is inevitable but shouldn’t be too obvious.
“NTA”
The comment states that the father is Not The A**hole in the situation, but his wife is giving off an unkind, controlling vibe like the infamous stepmother from Hansel and Gretel, which is concerning.
Son’s Lucky Break Sparks Heated Debate
![Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]](https://static.diply.com/e14e9068-f25b-4052-9a2c-948b321fd336.png)
NTA; a 9-year-old needs help understanding that her time to take a trip will one day come. Mom should validate the child’s feelings, but should not rationalize that her son’s trip was unfair to her, as it was purely a lucky break. There are ways to heal the situation without excluding the son from the vacation.
Parents’ Disagreement Over Birthday
The commentator suggested that the father is not the a-hole for refusing to punish his son, and also implied that the mother should seek therapy for any unresolved trauma from her childhood.
Mom Furious Due to Father’s Decision
The comment suggests that the mother’s anger is misguided and that her attempt to “even the score” between her son and daughter is actually favoring the daughter. It also suggests that the wife needs therapy.
Father NTA for Son’s Birthday Trip
The commenter declares that the father is not the a**hole in this situation, but that his wife is.
Mom’s Furious Over Birthday Trip
Mom is frustrated that the father refuses to punish the son for attending a birthday trip to Disney World for free, despite the sister not being invited.
Standing Up for What’s Right!
The commenter encourages the father to stand up for his decision, describing it as the right thing to do and calling it cruel to leave their son out of a family-organized thing.
NTA: ♀️Why Would a Parent Do This?
The comment is questioning why any parent would choose to punish one child over the other’s luck.
NTA – Disney trip decision
![Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]](https://static.diply.com/8bff819a-ac1c-44c5-a1bc-8ad50588fc59.png)
The commentator agrees with the dad, saying they assume the wife was projecting, as she is the one who really wanted to go to Disney.
Therapy Can Help
The comment suggests that the mom’s parenting mentality will harm her relationship with her son and his relationship with his sister. It then suggests that a therapist might help the mom develop new tools and perspectives to move away from unproductive parenting philosophies she may have acquired from her own childhood.
NTA — Standing Your Ground!
The commenter states that the mother is being ridiculous and that the father should stand their ground.
The comment states that the father is not the a**hole in this situation and that the wife is being ridiculous and needlessly cruel.
A Family Trip is Better!
The comment suggests that the family plan a trip to Disney, rather than punishing the son. The comment suggests that the sister might not even be mad that the brother got to go on the birthday trip, as she’s not friends with the birthday boy. Plus, she got souvenirs.
It’s Not Fair to ”Settle Scores”
NTA, the fair approach would be to take the daughter to Disneyland regardless of her brother’s birthday trip. Creating emotional exclusion from family is not the right way to do it.
NTA dad!
The commenter said that the father is not the a**hole and let the mother be angry since his son didn’t deserve to be treated like that.
Good for You, OP
The original poster (OP) is praised for not favoring his children and defending his decision about the situation. OP is advised to take the time to talk to his daughter about the situation before his wife does.
NTA: Life Isn’t Equal!
The commentator declares NTA in response to the article subject: that life won’t ever be equal for their kids and they have a point. They also added that it’s one thing to be left out of a trip with friends but quite another to be excluded from a family vacation.
Tough Wife
The commenter labels the wife as “tough.”
NTA:❗️Mom’s Parenting Methods Not Up To Par❗️
Commenter believes the mom’s parenting methods are not up to par and the OP is not the a-hole for refusing to punish his son for going on a birthday trip, even if that means leaving his daughter home. They suggest that mom should not deny her daughter a good opportunity after the son has moved out, just because they are currently “equal.”
NTA – Dad Did the Right Thing!
![Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]](https://static.diply.com/46dc5269-663a-4eda-8574-817cded6c372.png)
The father was right to let his son go on the Disney vacation, as he did nothing wrong. The commenter believes that the mother is wrong and is showing favoritism towards the daughter.
