Bride's Disbelief As Fiancé Requests Red Dress For Their Wedding

The bride took to the r/offmychest subreddit with the name CatOwnerVictim to share her story. The title of the Reddit story was, "My husband-to-be wants everyone to know I'm not 'pure.'" The Original poster explained she has been with her fiancé for six years and were engaged for eight months.

The Redditor was the only one handling all the wedding preparations. She wrote that a month ago, her fiancé who she named, Ryan, said something bizarre. The young lady explained that Ryan said she should wear a red dress, which she refused.

As she explained, Ryan came up with the idea after he had a conversation with his co-workers. The bride-to-be wrote that she just thought he was trying to be artistic. She continued that when she finally got her wedding dress, which was white, he got very angry.

Things appeared to be going downhill since she chose to go with her own choice of dress and doubled down on her decision. The Reddit user explained that she managed to ask why he wanted her to wear a red dress, and the response she got was shocking. Ryan told her brides only wear white dresses when they are pure.

The Redditor shared a background story. The couple started dating when Ryan was 20 and she was 21. He was a virgin then but the Redditor was not. She recalled dating a guy for four years when she was in high school.

According to her, it appeared Ryan did not like how her sexual experience surpassed his, and it affected their romance. During the first year of her relationship with Ryan, they almost broke up due to his insecurities. The fact that the Redditor was not a virgin when they started dating was a big issue for him. 

Ryan, in his rage, took the history of his fiancée's sex life to his mom. The Redditor wrote that they argued about her sex life in front of his mom. Ryan's mom then interfered but she added a shocking twist to the story when she wouldn't take her son's side.

She told Ryan to also wear red since he was also no longer a virgin. This definitely threw him off balance and he went off. He then started crying and said that the Redditor would be deceiving their guests by wearing white.

Ryan also argued that losing one's virginity is different for guys than it is for girls. The Redditor responded that Ryan was not even religious and wondered why he was using it against her. In the Reddit post, she admitted that was when she started reconsidering her decision to marry him. 

The lady's story enraged many Reddit users, who clamped down on her finance's behavior. Many called him out for being hypocritical, and sexist. One person indicated that the behavior was a red flag, while another stated that it was best to leave the engagement before walking down the aisle with him. More Redditors joined in on the discourse, as they echoed the user's sentiment about her leaving him for good.

Someone mentioned that the silver lining in the whole fracas was how the Redditor's mother-in-law stood by her. They also noted that Ryan could learn a thing or two from his mom's allegory. More netizens pointed this out, noting that she had a good support system against her insensitive fiance.

A lot of internet users gave the Redditor spot-on advice. They suggested she threw Ryan in the bin for being so insecure. Another person wrote that Ryan was not the kind of guy to get married to. Other Redditors wrote that Ryan was beaming with red flags and she should consider how he would treat their daughter if they got married. One user advised her to pack her things and call off the wedding, which the bride-to-be. 

The bride-to-be posted a follow-up to her story, a few months later. She took to r/dating_advice, seeking ideas on what to wear to a date. This was an indicator that she was done with Ryan, which the Redditor also confirmed in the post.

She added that she would be going on her first date after dating Ryan for six years. The former bride-to-be dumping Ryan made a lot of other Redditors excited, as they wished her well moving forward. Being in a relationship filled with jealousy and insecurities would have affected her mental health. 

According to Bored Panda, experts suggested that the behavior displayed by her ex-fiancee could be termed retrospective jealousy. Retrospective jealousy is what happens when one partner or both partners feel jealous about their partner's past.

They feel that their past could threaten their relationship. Due to this, they keep dwelling in the past instead of moving on. An example of retrospective jealousy is wondering if your partner still remembers their ex.

More instances also include musing about one's partner's past and wondering if they miss how they used to be. Another is wondering if your partner's ex was a better lover than you. Also, wondering if your partner wants to return to their ex. 

Robert L. Leahy, Ph.D. wrote about retrospective jealousy on Psychology Today. He wrote that feelings should be normalized. However, they should not turn their relationships into a trial. He added that the past ended for a reason and does not need to be resurrected.

Leahy added that people should stop thinking they can control their partner's thoughts and feelings. They should instead focus on making the present better and developing common ground.