The Struggle of a Single Mom-of-Three to Share Her Death Sentence With Her Children

Chisom Ndianefo
Cancer cell closeups.
Unsplash | National Cancer Institute

Nothing prepares anyone for dying, and what's even more painful is informing your loved ones of your impending demise. Despite having only a few months to live, a single mother of three children revealed she finds it difficult to tell them she won't live to see them grow up.

Keep reading to find out more.

Getting Diagnosed In 2020

Louise Hayward and two youngest kids
Daily Mail

After receiving a bowel cancer diagnosis in November 2020, Louise Hayward, 48, of Whitchurch, Bristol, saw it quickly spread to her liver and lungs.

Keeping Her Kids In The Dark

She acknowledged that not all of her children, who range in age from seven to 19, are aware of the heartbreaking prognosis she was given last November following two years of chemotherapy.

A Scary Phase

Louise Hayward and her three kids
Daily Mail
"All of this is so scary—I was never expecting to be told I was dying," she revealed. "In November 2022, they told me there is nothing else they can do—I was devastated." "I begged them to give me more chemotherapy—which they did—but it's hard to accept I am going to die soon."

Raising Money For Her Kids

The mother of three is raising money to help her sister, who will care for her young children after she passes away, by supporting her.

She Set Up A GoFundMe

Louise receiving treatment
Daily Mail

Louise is devastated by how "unfair" the situation is on her children William, 19, Faith, 9, and Louie, 7, and has raised more than £4,000 in donations on GoFundMe.

Louise Doesn't Know How To Break The News To Her Kids Yet

"I just think, why did they have to be born into this life," she said. 'They know about my cancer but I haven't been able to tell them I'm dying. " "How do I tell them they're going to lose their mum at such a young age?" "Any money I can save up for them before I pass will make it easier for them when I do."

Discovering The Horror

The interior of a hospital, showing a row of four beds with blue and white sheets.
Unsplash | Adhy Savala

After finding blood in the bathroom in November 2020, Louise received a stage four bowel cancer diagnosis. She recalled delaying seeing her doctor because of the pandemic, but it got so bad that she had no choice but to go.

She Experienced Intensifying Pain

One day after using the restroom, she experienced such a severe bleed that she was forced to "sit on a towel to stop the bleeding." The pain was so intense, she acknowledged,

"I felt like I was giving birth."

Medical professionals quickly identified her 7cm bowel tumor.

Her Oldest Is Aware

While her oldest son, William, a mechanics apprentice, is aware of the situation, her younger children are still in the dark because she is waiting to tell them until she has raised as much money as she can to support them.

Seeing A Colon Cancer Patient

Colon Cancer
Flickr | social.chiraghospital

She mentioned seeing Deborah James, who had bowel cancer, "deteriorate."

"She was taking the same medications as I am," Louise remarked. "I observed her decline and mused, "That's going to be me soon."

Her Sister Would Relocate To Take Care Of Her Kids After Her Demise

Louise's sister Rachel, 47, who has grown-up children, will eventually relocate to Louise's home to care for little Faith and Louie.

Louise Doesn't Want A Funeral

Louise doesn't even intend to hold a funeral, to lessen her children's suffering in the future. She said,

"I don't want to put my children through it twice—you lose somebody, then you live it all over again at the funeral."

She Is Worried For Her Youngest

Mother's love
Giphy | This Is Us

The mother worries about how they will manage because, as a single parent, she has "done everything" for her kids, especially for her youngest, who heavily relies on her for everything.

A Trying Time For The Single Mom And Her Family

A mom and her two kids preparing lunch in a sunlit kitchen (not the woman or kids from the story).
Unsplash | Hillshire Farm

No doubt Louise's family is going through a tough time as it is, and we can't even imagine the horrors of having to count down to one's final days. What a horrifying experience that must be!

However, Louise would have to tell her children, and the sooner she does, the better. The American Cancer Society states that kids often pick up on problems in their surroundings, and it is essential to be open and honest about what is happening to the children to ensure they continue to have faith in those around them.

Furthermore, being aware of what is going on can reduce anxiety, improve emotional control, and help adjust to change.

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