Teen Refuses To Be Adopted By Stepmom, Dad Pushes The Issue After Tragedy

Ashley Hunte
A vase filled with pink carnations.
Unsplash | Alisa Anton

Family can be incredibly difficult to navigate. There's really no such thing as the perfect family since people will always have traits or issues that others might see as non-traditional. Then, there's the fact that some families experience untimely losses that shape the dynamics for the rest of the members for years to come.

A young Reddit user who goes by the handle JollisMore recently told the story of how his stepmother wants to try to replace his mother, who passed away in his infancy. He doesn't see her as a mom and is now asking the AITA community if he's wrong for feeling that way.

OP Shared His Concerns

The user, whose mother died, refuses to be adopted by his step-mom.
reddit | JollisMore

Wonders If His Feelings Are Wrong

A memorial floral bouquet.
Unsplash | Suhyeon Choi

The OP, who is still just a teenager, discusses how his mother died when he was very young. His dad met his current stepmom a few years later. The stepmom was pretty forward with her intentions, telling OP that his father loved her after only meeting him a few times, and stating that she wanted to be his replacement mom, but even as a child, OP didn't want a replacement.

His dad and stepmom brought up the idea of adoption, but OP wasn't interested in having her as a mother. They tried therapy, but that didn't change his feelings. Eventually, the dad and stepmom decided to try for a child of their own, going through IVF treatments.

Unfortunately, OP writes that the stepmom miscarried not long before he wrote his post. During her grieving period, his dad brought up the idea of adoption again, saying that it would be compassionate of OP to let his stepmom adopt him. OP declined once again, as he feels he has a mother, and even though he didn't get to know her for a long time, that's still enough for him.

Redditors Came To OP's Defense

Users discuss how forced OP's relationship with his step-mom was.
reddit | Venetrix2

It's pretty clear that the dad and his wife tried to force OP to have a mother-son relationship with her. They also seemingly didn't have respect for his feelings or boundaries.

Dad Put His New Wife Over His Son

Users discuss how the dad put his wife over his son.
reddit | Emotional_Koala_

As horrible as it is to be in the stepmom's situation, it's not on OP to make her feel better by letting her adopt him.

Many Users Denounced Parents Actions

Users discuss how you shouldn't do this, divorce or death in the family.
reddit | Mr-Mc-Epic

Especially since the stepmom seemed pretty adamant on making OP part of her family very early on, without any consideration for his feelings about her.